"I tried"

I won't say I didn't try, because I did. With all my heart, I fought what was going on inside of me and what was reality, but it didn't seem to matter. It didn't matter that I didn't like him or that he didn't like me. It didn't matter that he was dumb and I was smart. It didn't matter that he was in one click and I was in another. None of it mattered at all. What mattered was I liked him once, and for all the trouble I put myself through, I could not escape that…


"So, who do you like this year, Mindy?" my best friend, Tara asked me on that warm, windy day of September 8th, 2006. My mind was somewhere else, though, and I didn't answer. Tara shook her head.

"Mindy?" she asked, annoyingly snapping her fingers in my face. I shook myself back to reality. I'm going to have to face it sooner or later, I thought.

"What?" I asked, facing her. She sighed dramatically, her silky black hair flying in the wind as she became increasingly frustrated.

"Ugh. Never mind," she said. Of course, I felt bad for practically ignoring her, but I had too many things circling around in my head. That was my excuse. That's why I avoided talking about crushes…or anything more for that matter.

Just then, Ryan Parcy walked up to us. He was our other half. He was tall with light brown straight hair and deep brown eyes. He was rather sweet too, but he knew how to joke around. Goodness knows, he had teased us about any potential boyfriend we might've had for as long as we could remember. But he was cool. He was like a brother to both of us, and yet, a best friend…one that neither of us would ever date.

"Hey Ryan," I said, smiling dreadfully. I was trying to get Tara off my hands, but my attempts hadn't been working. Ryan smiled.

"Mindy! You're not listening!" Tara said, hitting my arm lightly. She obviously had not realized that Ryan was even there yet.

"Hey guys. What's up?" he asked.

"Hey Ryan," Tara said, flirtingly. I shook my head. Don't get me wrong, she didn't crush on him or anything…she just liked to flirt. He smiled, and was about to say something when Tara started up on another of her boy-crazy talks. Ryan and I sighed, smiled and sat down on my front porch steps. It would be awhile till we got something in.

Us three had been together since before time existed, as we liked to say. We all lived exactly one block away from each other, and met at my house every day after school. My house was the mid-point between us all. That's where we were now. We had just finished our first day as juniors at Middleton High and boy-crazy Tara was draining a bunch of "crush" questions out of me, when she really only wanted me to ask her who she liked, which it turned out I didn't have to anymore, because as soon as Ryan had showed up she had emptied every little detail, some…we didn't want to know. Some we'd just laugh about later. I loved my little group. I don't know what I'd do without them.