"This has to end; we can't see each other anymore." He said. I could feel my heart begin to shatter. I placed down my fork and took a deep breath.
"What do you mean?" He heavily sighed and held my hand. When our eyes met, I could see the seriousness in his face. No, I thought, no, no, no!
"Come on, Morgan, you didn't think this would honestly work out, did you?" My eyes began to tear and he could only shake his head. "Oh god, you did. Look, it's just not right."
"No, you can't be serious, James. You said that we would be together. You told me you wouldn't leave me. You risked it all for me baby and you want to end it? Just like that? You told me I meant the world to you. You told me you couldn't live without me."
"Morgan, please, don't raise your voice. I told you a lot of things, things that I shouldn't have said because I didn't really mean them. I was just caught up in the heat of the moment."
"James. You promised you wouldn't break my heart. The first night we made love you promised. I remember because it was so important to me. I remember everything James, you are perfect." I sipped my water and sighed. "I even thought maybe tonight you would propose to me…" The notion of engagement seemed to make him laugh.
"Propose? You think I'm that serious? Yea, it was fun, but I could never commit to you." A few people around us seemed to be listening in, but I didn't care. I wasn't ashamed of our love like he was; I embraced while he denied. My anger subsided and the tears came again.
"James, you said we were going to run away, to Canada or something." He took in a deep breath, and heavily exhaled.
"I never said anything about running off. Morgan, you are in your own pathetic fantasy world and it's just too unbearable. This whole think should have never started." I shook my head, I was practically sobbing. Now it was no secret that people were staring. He clicked his tongue nervously and beckoned for the check.
"What am I supposed to do tomorrow? Pretend none of it ever happened? It was there, it was real. School will be out soon; we could run away then. I don't even have to finish high school. You could get a new job and I could find something too. It can work."
"Thank you," he nodded at the waiter, and then his gaze returned back at me. "Yes, forget everything. Morgan, it was fun, I'm not going to lie. But it has to end. As for my job; I'm quitting at the end of the year, I can't do it anymore. Reasons shall be remained disclosed, of course, and I'd appreciate it if you would keep your mouth shut too." This was it, the end. He really was ending it, it was over, I was nothing, and he was dumping me. He was kicking me to the curb. I was yesterday's news. I felt disgusted.
"But, James, no, please . . . we can go back to your place and talk things out." The only thing he could do was shake his head as he put on his coat. The waiter returned to take away his credit card and returned before James could even say anything else to me.
"You can't call me James anymore. Ever, and I mean it." I gulped down hard. He got up and pushed in his chair. Boldly, he offered his hand for a handshake. I coldly rejected it.
"But, James. . ."
"No, Morgan, you will call me by my professional name. None of this James bullshit anymore" He left me sitting, makeup running down my face. I hastily collected my things and ran out after him, calling to him.
"James, please, listen to me, I love you." He slammed his door in my face and rolled down his window.
"I'll see you tomorrow Morgan. Go home, take a shower. Get some rest. You've been running around a lot these past couple months. Now its time to face the facts and go back to life before me."
"No! I was miserable. James, don't you understand. You and I are meant to be. I love you so much." Ignoring me, James climbed into his car and started it. Looking straight ahead, he corrected me.
"It's not James. It's Mr. Clarke." He slammed his door shut and began to go in reverse, but first he stopped and rolled down the window, looking me straight in the eyes. For a minute, a sliver of hope returned. He had changed his mind?
"Come crawling back?" I asked with a sly smile. It had to have been a joke. Right? A sick joke that boys play to worry their girlfriends. Right?
"No. Just wanted to remind you that you have that essay due tomorrow; make sure you get it done." And with that, he drove off, leaving me in the parking lot, cold and lonely. I began to cry so hard I got sick to my stomach. I sat and waited for him, hoping he would realize his mistake and come back for me. But he never did. Some time later I dragged myself to my car and got it. I drove myself home that night wishing I was dead.