Happy holidays everyone! Thanks to all who reviewed/added me to fav authors/author watch. You're all awesome xD I hope you enjoy this chapter! I'm going to try to increase the rate of me submitting chapters to this thing so... we'll see! Here's Chapter 16: Passion... ahaha.


It's so easy to surrender to sleep.

And within seconds, that's exactly what you do… without even fully acknowledging your great need for rest. The entire helplessness of the situation disappears into fantasy as you begin to dream of happier things. It's the first time in a while that this has happened.

You dream of warmth, and you're sure you can feel it spreading through your body.

A fire appears before you, flickering mindlessly. You feel inspired to reach out and touch it, but it is already swiveling all about you. You can see figures dancing merrily in and out of the flames. One of the figures grows large and humanlike, coming toward you tentatively. You stay perfectly still as the lips of the fire person brush your cheek, but he is soon gone, already assimilated back into the rest of the fire.

You watch the red and orange sparks for a little while longer, the heat more pleasurable than uncomfortable. The you in your dream shudders and lays down amidst the fire, bare skin completely engulfed, but nothing burning.

Suddenly, a feeling like cold ice water dumps over your entire body. You gasp, and wake up from your dream breathless and shivering. You begin to cry. A figure moves beside you.

"Katherine?" He groans lightly, sitting up and pulling you into his arms. At the touch of his cold chest, you shudder and pull away. You aren't really sure what just happened.

"Tallor?" You whisper back softly after a moment, realizing the reality of the moment. You let a hand float out warily to touch him, to make sure that he's real. "You're back already…?"

"What's wrong?" He asks as your fingers trace the edge of his jaw experimentally. "I didn't mean to wake you…"

"Why are you here?" You ask, still shocked by the sudden end to the dream.

"I told you I wouldn't be gone for long. I'm keeping my promise. Don't you want me here?" He stretches his arms out and then makes a move to embrace you again. He's completely naked—the chills won't stop coming down your spine. You cry, emotionally confused. It's good that he is back, that he is still okay, and yet, it's too hard to fully grasp the situation and to enjoy the moment.

"Tallor…" You feel his fingers wrap around your shoulder protectively. He's murmuring comforting words to you, but you can't really hear him. "Is all of this… a dream? None of this feels real…" His hold on you loosens temporarily, until he abandons the idea of an embrace altogether.

"What?"

"I don't know how to explain… I've been haunted by this idea ever since I got here… but even more strongly just now…"

"Well, isn't this all just horrible then?" Tallor replies, becoming frustrated, "If this is a dream, then why the hell haven't you woken up yet?"

"I suppose I'm just that kind of person…" He seems taken aback by your acceptance of the matter. You know you should sleep, but just because it's easy to surrender to something, doesn't mean you should do it. Besides, there's another feeling, one much more predominant than sleep that is pulling at your heart.

Without thinking, you shed your shirt. You're absolutely freezing, but you want nothing more than to seek out the heat from the dream again. You're sure you're going crazy. You can't see him react; it's too dark. Before he can say anything, you grab for his arm and try to pull him into you. He hesitates, but concedes, knowing what you're thinking, and slowly straddles you. His thighs are as cold as the ice water feeling, so you sob automatically. It makes him stop sliding off your shorts for a quick moment as he watches the emotions cross your face. You nod for him to keep going, your heart so confused. So he soon is completely on top of you, cold skin smoldering the failing temperature of the skin below it.

He caresses your face gently, as though he's still unsure. You blink up at him an urging glance, your hips trying desperately to begin the mutual rotation on their own. But one of his hands shoots out and grasps the top of one of your thighs, holding it still. You oblige, loving the touch, no matter how cold. He kisses your ear, his tongue darting teasingly in and out of it before he repositions himself better on top of you. You almost don't hear him speak.

"If you're dreaming…" he whispers solemnly with a deep breath, his face hovering just inches above yours, "then I think it's fair to say that this is more of a nightmare than anything else to you." His eyes are a cool, almost sad, blue color.

"Not this part," you sigh, trying to convince both him and yourself as you bring a hand slowly down his chest. You squeeze your eyes closed as he moans something into your hair beside your neck on the pillow, his body lowering back down.

You know what you want, and he knows it too. That's all there is to it.

-~-

You lie awake, still, with him at your side, your face resting against his shoulder as he tilts into you. It had been brilliant. You couldn't deny such a feeling, and you were sure that you loved him, but something just didn't seem to be right. You had too many thoughts now that nearly ruin the moment. It's hard not to begin to hate yourself a little.

As he shifts his body a little on the sheets, his body curling up even more against you, you wonder how long he'll be staying; how long you'll be able to lie like that in his arms. So you voice your fears before he can address them first and make you feel guilty.

"Tallor…?" You ask, pulling away just enough so that you can look him in the eyes. "Are you awake?"

"Yes," he answers gently, yawning. There's a small ray of sunlight streaming in from the window behind him—you get anxious.

"When are you going to leave me again?" The words come out wrong. You don't mean to sound so bitter, so accusing.

"Soon," Tallor replies grimly, "very soon, actually. Kyrone and Okello will be wondering why I stayed so long…"

He leans forward to close up the gap again, his lips trying to kiss yours. A notion in your head has still not been confirmed or denied, however. It has continued to grow on you, and for whatever reason you had been hoping that the sex would've helped to alleviate the confusion and distress. It hadn't, of course, and so you lie sulking in your spot on the mattress as he reads your thoughts. You frown. Your body is still ice cold, unsatisfied in a strange, betraying way.

"Is it a dream or not, Tallor?" You turn your face away from him so that he can't kiss you. You want him to know that you're completely serious. "Is -this- a dream?"

He sighs and stays completely still. Then, he shifts you off of him and stands up, his eyes yellowing slowly.

"I thought you might have more faith in me than that, Katherine," he says coolly, digging through his dresser for a shirt, "but I suppose not. I can't tell you that this is or isn't a dream—you wouldn't believe me anyway. Your mind could attribute every little thing that happens into being a dream or a nightmare. I have no control over your imagination."

"Hey…! Don't leave!" Your mind begins to race dizzily, along with your heart. You don't want to be left alone just yet. You aren't ready. You want even more answers. "I'm just worried… if I'm controlling everything that's happening with my mind, then why would I ever have wanted Sarn to die?"

"Sometimes in dreams you aren't in control… that's sort of what's called having a nightmare." He clears his throat and turns back to face you again. "It's the scariest thing when you can never wake up."

"Well maybe I don't want to," you reply stubbornly, your brow furrowing.

"Maybe you aren't dreaming."

"I think I am! Because I… don't believe in any of this! I don't believe in vampires or demons or… any kind of world like this! Tallor, I…"

"What?" He's angry. It's currently a subdued sort of anger, but you can tell you've offended him—you aren't stupid. Your face softens and you can feel things beginning to fall apart.

"… I love you. I want more than anything for you to be real."

"And you don't want to wake up?"

"I don't want to wake up without you being there beside me," you affirm, wincing at the cheesy genuineness of what you'd said.

"Then let me transform you," he whispers seriously, "and then you'll know for sure that this isn't a dream. Unless, of course, you want to believe that it is."

"What?! Transform me?!" He has crawled back over onto the bed, his body once again very close to yours. You feel so dizzy at the suggestion. What is he saying?!

"Join me, Katherine… as a vampire. You'll be free; you won't even have to love me anymore if you don't want to. You'll have so much control over your 'dream' that you'll never have to worry again."

Many emotions and feelings pass through your head. Some are absolutely euphoric and you have a hard time stopping to seriously think about what he's asking you. Because, after all, there's the other more cautious side of you that remembers your foreboding dream, if it even was one, of the Angels of Dymphna.

"I… um. Tallor, I…"

"Does the idea of having so much control scare you or something?"

"I don't know if it's a good idea…"

"You'd be safe—safer than you have been for weeks, months. Possibly the safest you've ever been in your life. I promise you… you'll be so much stronger." You shake your head furiously, a realization coming upon you.

"You're worried about leaving me alone, aren't you? That Fukayna will easily rip me apart! And then I won't belong to you anymore!"

"No!" He hisses, coming even closer still. "Why would you assume such a thing? I'd let you be free!"

"You say that now, but what about later? What about when you get lonely?"

"Are you suggesting that you'd leave me? That you really do want to wake up?"

"No! I just don't want to make the wrong decision again!"

The room goes silent; the two of you are breathing very hard.

"Again?!" Tallor exclaims after some time.

"Yes, again!"

For a moment, he says nothing, and does nothing. He just sits there, his body tense and rigid, his eyes glaring.

"I'm sorry…!" You say quickly, immediately regretting having said anything. "I'm just scared!"

"You regret ever having come outside that one day to help me when I appeared sick and weak…?" He seems to have calmed down a little bit, which is strange, because although the muscles in his face have relaxed, his eyes are a brilliant red-orange. You blink, unable to say much of anything. That had been exactly what you were thinking. "Well, I'm sorry, but something would have happened anyway. It wasn't as though I couldn't have fashioned up some other way to lure you in."

He moves as though preparing to leave, but then he stops and turns back to face you. His face gets close to your ear, and you shudder, wondering for a moment if he'll hurt you. You had seen him this angry before, and you knew that you had been out of line… you whimper lightly small apologies as his lips touch your neck slowly.

"We both know what it's like… to be a slave…" he whispers calmly, to your surprise, his fingers lightly caressing your shoulder as you turn away from him defensively. You relax, however, at the gentleness of his touch and turn back to him, awaiting some sort of explanation or continuation. You open your mouth to speak, but no words come out. You aren't sure what the right thing to say is… so you wait quietly as he lays beside you patiently, fully clothed, his cold breath tickling your ear. "But by the end of this… we'll both be free."

He nuzzles the side of your neck where he had kissed before rising and standing beside the window. The sun seems so off-putting in an otherwise dark, black room. You watch him sadly, and then, he's gone again, as unexpectedly as he had appeared.

As you slowly pull yourself up out of the bed, you cross over to the place where he had vanished, the sunlight causing the cold on your arms to swell with gentle warmth. You feel your eyes sting again with tears, so you close them and sigh, your body perfectly still as you breathe evenly in and out.

You're sure you're not dreaming.


TBC.

Kind of an odd chapter, but important-ish too, I must say. If anyone cares or would like to, you can go to my LJ and check out my explanation of the chapter/what happened. xP But nobody probably wants to listen to my ramblings much anyway! Haha.

Reviews are always loved! I'll try to have the next chapter out soon...

-- Lissa