Chapter Thirteen: Laila
I hated him. I hated myself, but I hated him more than anything. He was the one who got caught with Gisele first, then he gets mad at me for getting comfort from the only nonviolent source I had! There was no fairness in that situation at all. It wasn't my fault, I was upset and Paris continually comforted me by saying she knew how to castrate a guy in his sleep. That wasn't the comfort I wanted. I wanted someone to hold me and tell me that he isn't worth the tears, that I'd find someone better later, and that I was the victim—and that person was Finn.
But, no! Jaiden had to come sauntering into the music area just as I get the comfort I'd needed. I knew from his look that he thought something was going on between Finn and me, but now there was no chance of that. Finn would never settle for being the rebound boy.
It had barely been a day since the incident occurred when my parents returned from their honeymoon. My mother had arranged to stay in Biel/Bienne until the end of the year, which was beneficial to me. I was in need of maternal advice.
After classes, I immediately bypassed all the guys who had gathered to escort me to wherever I wanted to go and called my mother.
"This must be important for my studious daughter to call during a school day," my mother noted keenly as she answered her phone. I rolled my eyes and unlocked my dorm.
"I know you must be tired from jet-lag, but I really need to talk to you." I tossed my stuff on my bed and opened my closet. My mother had this thing about looking fashionable and cute even though it was just the two of us. I pulled out a sky-blue sundress and laid it on my bed.
"What's the occasion?" she inquired, her radio blaring in the background. She was dancing again.
"Boyfriend got caught with another girl, then boyfriend catches girlfriend getting comfort from her guy best friend." The music suddenly stopped, her attention caught. Social disputes often caught her attention.
"Do you have classes tomorrow?" I sighed. It was Friday.
"Think about what you just asked me, Mother."
"Right, then it's just going to be us girls this weekend. And I want all the details when you get over here!" Sometimes I wondered if my mother was really the 37 year old fashion designer and international fashion role model or a 16 year old diva.
I put on the sundress and packed a small overnight bag, just grabbing the necessities. I could use my mom's make up and some of her clothes, so I didn't need that much. Paris was just entering the room when I was leaving.
"Hey, where are you goin'?" she asked. I glanced at her over my shoulder. Over the past twenty-four hours, I wasn't much of the socialite I used to be. I had kept people at a distance, save a few words with Finn.
"My mom's hotel room. I'm gonna be there all weekend," I told her simply. Paris blinked at the abruptness of the decision, but nodded as she watched me retreat. I closed the door behind me and was heading towards the stairs when I ran smack into someone.
"Oh, sorry," I mumbled as I stepped back to see who I had collided with. Jaiden stood there, his hair damp from showering. His face was set in a scowl.
"Really, about what?" he asked with a sneer. I recoiled in anger, a flush of fury coloring my cheeks. I tucked my hair behind my ear.
"Agreeing to date you in the first place," I replied with sharp anger. I walked around him, walking briskly. I heard him snort with indignation.
"Yeah, I have to agree with you there. I always wondered why I never dated you before," he said loudly, intending to sting but managing to murder an already broken heart. I stopped where I was and glared at him, tears stinging my eyes.
"I hope you rot in Hell," I seethed with fury. Turning on my heel, I stormed off, desperately needing to talk to my mother.
-----
By the end of my retelling, I was a mess of tears. My mother had stayed silent while I told her the story, even telling her about the original deal. Her silence was uncharacteristic; I had always known her to interject with some witty comment. When I had finished sniffling, she handed me another box of tissues as she contemplated what to tell me. I knew I had gotten myself into a rut the depth of the Marianas Trench.
"Well," she started tentatively, "wow." I moaned. I was doomed to live the rest of my life as a single woman—I was the true definition of a Harlot Sister.
"But, it's not untreatable," she told me hastily, gathering me into a hug. "Honey, I've always trusted your judgment, you know that. I mean, that's why I didn't feel half as guilty leaving you by yourself for so long. If you really think he isn't worth the heartache anymore, I would stand by your decision." I knew there was a latent "but" in that sentence somewhere, yet she was unwilling to voice her true opinion.
"That's the thing, Mom!" I cried. "No matter how mad he makes me, or how rude his comments are, I still love him!" My mother stood up, for we had been sitting on her bed, and grabbed my purse. She tossed it to me, and picked hers up.
"Let's get something to eat and continue talking then," she said, holding out her arm. I gave her a skeptical look. I knew that my mascara must have run like mad, and my eyes were probably red and puffy. I was a mess and she wanted to get something to eat. That was my mother for you, random and slightly irrational.
"I look like crap," I told her. She shook her head and smiled.
"Surprisingly, you didn't shed too many tears to cause damage. I think you must have cried your worst with Finn," she said, poking fun at me. I smacked her arm with my clutch bag and walked into her bathroom, touching up my make up.
"You are a cruel woman, I swear," I muttered under my breath. My mother shrugged, her iridescent eyes glittering.
"C'mon, you gotta laugh a little. It'll make you feel better," she told me as she held open the door, "besides, I know this really cute bistro that has the hottest servers. They'll keep your mind off your teenage troubles."
I didn't doubt her word. Certainly, there were many a gorgeous guy serving at the Italian bistro we went to, but I couldn't keep my thoughts from Jaiden. And it didn't help that the bistro we went to was the same that Jaiden and I often frequented when we were dating.
"So, what do you plan to do about Jaiden?" she asked me as she sipped her drink. We had just finished our meal and were relaxing, watching the couples pass the window. I'm sure my mother and father would have been doing the same if I hadn't botched an already shitty situation.
"I don't know," I sighed, "what should I do?" My mother gave me a thoughtful look.
"Apologize to him." I would have been willing to do anything, but that was crossing the line. I didn't do anything wrong. I was just getting comfort from a friend, who just happened to be a guy. I wasn't the one who was caught kissing someone other than Jaiden.
"Forget it." My mother raised an eyebrow.
"Then forget about Jaiden." She was a hard businesswoman, I learned. Her deals were more like ultimatums. I wondered if she handled Dad like this.
"I didn't do anything wrong!" I said.
She shrugged. "It doesn't matter, Laila. In his eyes, you did do something wrong. Maybe the reason he was in the music room too was because he wanted to apologize and explain what you saw earlier. Then he sees you with Finn, getting a little cozy for his taste. If you apologize and be the better person, he might turn the other cheek and do the same."
I hated Mother-logic. Not only were solutions painful, the explanations were painfully accurate.
"Fine, but if things don't work out, then I demand you supply a suitable replacement in the form of a model." My mother grinned.
"I have plenty of those, darling."
-----
I went back to the academy Sunday afternoon, paying a short visit to my dad before scampering off towards the music area. Brendan, the lazy-bum, had called me and asked to meet him in the music room to practice.
I got there early, and sat down at the piano pensively. Finally choosing a warm-up, "100 Years" by Five for Fighting, I let my hands run over the keys. I didn't sing—I wasn't in the mood to sing something about a future I wasn't sure of. I heard the door open, figuring it was Brendan, I didn't turn. I kept playing, and when I was finished, I started playing "Missing You" by Jem. Brendan hadn't come around to his usual seat by the piano, so I started singing along out of boredom.
"I wish this could be
a happy song
But my happiness disappeared
the moment you were gone
Don't think I ever believed that
this day would come
Now all I'm feeling
is lost and numb
And ohhh I know I promised
Mmmm that I would try
But I, yes I, miss you
and it's killing inside
I'll always be thankful
for the time we had
We were blessed
I should celebrate
but I feel too sad
All the wonderful memories
just make me fall apart
And it feels like somebody's
stabbed me in my heart
And ohhh I know I promised
Mmmm that I wouldn't cry
But I, yes I, miss you
and it's killing inside
Ooh well I, yes I, miss you
want you by my side
Walking, holding hands
Talking, making plans
Touching my heart my soul
I wish this could be
a happy song
But my happiness disappeared
the moment you were gone
Tell me it's not happening
Say it's not as it seems
Tell me that I'm gonna wake up
It's just a bad dream
Please tell me that it's fiction
Tell me it's just a lie
Whatever you choose to tell me
Please say you didn't die
And I, yes I, miss you
and it's killing inside
Ooh well I, yes I, miss you
want you by my side
Ooh well I, miss you
want you by my side
Back here by my side
Here by my side."
The melody I was playing was meant for a guitar, but since Brendan was being a jerk again and not playing with me (because he knew the song); I just played it on the piano. When I stopped, I kept my hands on the keys, assuming Brendan would tell me what to start playing again.
However, I was met with silence. Frowning, I turned to look at Brendan and saw that it wasn't Brendan at all—no, just Jaiden.
He stood there, his eyes that had been nothing but icy to me since the day before were soft with confusion and appreciation. He was leaning against the door, his arms folded in slight defense. Somehow, I figured Brendan or Paris or both had set us up.
I stood up, keeping a hand on the piano. His hair was slightly ruffled, probably from wearing his hat again. A faint shadow of facial hair graced his smooth features, making me smile inwardly. I always like him with such a shadow.
I knew what I had to do, but it was getting around to it that was the problem. Taking a deep breath, I opened my mouth to begin the grueling process of apologizing when he stepped away from the door and took a few steps towards me.
"Singing about Donovan?" he inquired, his voice taking on a hint of an edge. The thoughts I had about a happy reunion melted when a pang of anger flashed in my eyes.
"Do you honestly think I always sing songs about people?" I asked icily. Jaiden shrugged, his arms still folded.
"Who knows why you do the things you do?" he countered. I glared at him.
"I could say the same to you." I could see that the underlying accusation got to him by the way his body stiffened slightly.
"What are you getting at? I'm only here for an explanation." I scoffed.
"Explanation? I'd be glad to hear what you have to say, because I didn't do anything wrong!" He bristled at that.
"Nothing wrong?! I caught you sharing a 'tender moment' with Finn, the guy you insisted was only a friend!" he snapped. Somehow, I had stepped closer to him.
"I was getting the comfort I needed from a friend after I caught you kissing Gisele!" I said, my voice getting louder. It was a good thing that the room was sound-proof.
"I wasn't kissing her! She was kissing me!" He closed the distance between us. "You walked in just as she did that!" I couldn't think of anything to counter what he said, so I opted for just glaring at him murderously and pushing him away from me. He tripped over the stool behind him, sending him to the ground flat on his back.
"Then why the hell didn't you tell me that before?" I asked, my voice losing its ferocity. He looked at me from the floor.
"You were a little busy with a certain someone," he pointed out. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because I had already made up my mind to hate you for cheating on me."
"But I didn't." I offered my hand to help him up. He took it and pulled me down on top of him. "And I wouldn't because I love you no matter what you think."
His hand caught the back of my neck, lowering my head to meet his lips.
-----
Graduation was in two days, and a majority of the students had already left. Jaiden was with the rest of the senior class at graduation rehearsal while I was left to entertain myself for the rest of the afternoon. He and I had made up like Paris and Brendan intended. Of course, I made a point to beat Brendan furiously with a pillow for his hand in the plot.
My mom had already flown back to New York to start packing up our things. Naturally, because my parents were remarried and I had no intention of volleying back and forth across the Pond, she and I were moving into the Pembrooke Estate. The news absolutely thrilled my dad, who told me that I could alter my room in any way I liked over the summer.
The whole incident with Jaiden inspired me to write a novel with a plot strikingly similar to the one we had lived. I had sent a copy to my publisher and had received raving reviews from both my editor and publisher.
I was on my way to the music hall, my iPod in my pocket. The teachers had begun to clear out their rooms, so as I passed, I started to feel a little sad. Next year, I wouldn't have Jaiden with me everyday. But I would get by, as usual.
I walked into the main hall, about to turn into the music wing when I heard someone calling out to me. I turned and saw Finn walking towards me, a duffle bag slung over his shoulder. His hair caught the afternoon sunlight from the massive skylights above us.
"I've been looking all over for you," he told me as he paused before me, his hand in his pocket. "I wanted to tell you good-bye." The announcement caught me off-guard. I hadn't expected him to leave so soon.
"You're leaving already?" I asked stupidly. He nodded.
"Dad wants me home so I can help with the baby's room," he said with a hint of regret. I blinked in surprise.
"Baby?" He nodded again, taking his hand out of his pocket and massaging his temple.
"Yeah, found out a few days ago. Apparently, my step-mom is pregnant." I giggled at the thought of Finn changing diapers.
"You'd be an awesome older brother," I complimented. He gave me an I-don't-believe-that look. Yet, he said nothing about it.
"Tell Jaiden congratulations for me," he said instead. I nodded. A short, awkward silence plagued us before he stepped towards me and hugged me. I was surprised at first, but then relaxed, breathing in the familiar cologne. His hold on my body was light, but loving all the same.
He pulled back, his sapphire eyes still glowing. "See you in London, Laila," he murmured as he kissed my hand. I watched his retreating figure while I put in my headphones. For some reason, the smell of his cologne lingered with me as I walked into the nearest empty music room and started playing along to Eric Clapton's "Layla". I was, after all, Clapton's little girl.