Suicidal nights

I hear everybody screaming

But I cannot say a word

I don't remember what's happened

But I think I made the mistake

I can't take much more of this why won't I die already

It's all too hard to take

So much information being thrown my way

Don't do this, talk to him

I need to live my life the way it's supposed to be

When I decide to talk to someone

I will have made the decision not you or her

But when I try everyone just seems to block me out

So I've taught myself to bottle it up

To not let it out, I can't help it now

I want to scream but I can't I'm restricted by these bonds

All I do is feel guilty about the promises that I have broken

Or the truths that I have told

I kid myself into believing no one cares

Then it's easier to think straight or at least not give up

But I don't want to hurt anyone anymore

I need some help though I don't know where to go

I don't want to have to talk but I need someone to know

That everyday seems to feel like yet another mistake

That brings me back to the start

When everyone is screaming

I try to make a sound but no one can hear me

I think I have escaped or I can hear my body dying

I am glad you know that I am leaving this place for good

Condemned to hell but that's ok

I was stuck there anyway

So it's a vacation away from it all

No plasters needed I'm already dead

Then I wake up and realise

It was all a dream and I'm alive for another day

My surroundings are all normal

But they don't hide the endless pain

I can't fix myself anymore I need someone to help

But when I try to reach out for someone who cares

No one seems to be there

So I suppose I should leave them all in peace

And kill myself when I have the chance

Then maybe tonight won't be a dream.