Nutz

I came up with this story when I was walking home and was walking under a tree, when all of a sudden a nut hit me on the head. So I stood there thinking why in the world would a nut hit me on the head. So I look up and there in the tree I saw a squirrel hitting a baby bird's head against a tree branch. So I gathered that the bird tried to steal the nut and there was a fight trying to get it, it fell and the squirrel got mad. So, I wrote this story to tell everyone that birds are evil, because he stole the squirrel's nuts.


The squirrels were getting restless; they had been waiting for hours, hiding stealthy in the bushes. They had to, the birds stole, not only their nuts but also their home tree. It was one thing if you steal a squirrel's home, but another if you steal all their food. General Bag-O-Nutz felt pity towards his fellow squirrel. All they wanted were their nuts back, which was it, nothing more nothing less, just nuts. But the fiends, those birds! They stole their nuts, their only source of food for the winter! But Bag-O-Nutz was used to this, being born in the once war-torn land of Scotland can do that to a squirrel. He had been in so many battles that not many squirrels could count that high, probably because squirrels can't count.

Every one was waiting for the signal, the sign that the plan would work. The plan being that, once the birds arrive, the hidden squirrels in the canopy of the tree would jump on top their backs and fly them straight into the ground. The squirrels hopefully being smart enough would jump off before it was to late. The wind picked up, screwing around with their sense of smell. They were practically blind in the setting sun. It would be night soon, and what was better, the clouds were getting darker. Then the screeching began, the horrible sound of the birds, their gutless war cry that normally works on heartless squirrels, making them come out of hiding so that they may fly down and rip them apart with their beaks and claws. But that only works on stupid squirrels.

The General was worried the screeching had not stopped, what if it wouldn't end? Would some of the men run like frightened cowards? No these squirrels were not cowards; they were rodents, and very proud rodents at that. The screeching stopped, but for how long? The squirrels waited for another good twenty minutes, then the screeching began again, this time much closer. The clouds gave way to the weight they were bearing and dumped the load in bucket; this wasn't going to make the battle for the birds, due to the fact that the birds wings would get wet and the could not fly, but it wasn't any easier on the squirrel army either, the squirrels were practically blind at night and being in a tree it being dark and raining made it even worse. The screeching stopped once more, but that didn't matter because a scout had spotted the enemy; the birds, the battle was about to begin.

The birds having a superior air force to the squirrel's meager militia, made the birds clumsier in their droppings, and feeling a little cocky they were following them right towards the tree; just what the squirrels wanted them to do. Bag-O-Nutz gave the signal to a close by runner, the runner ran to the scout squadron and all together they gave the signal to squirrels waiting in the tree. The nut flame was ignited. A flame, using dry grass and leaves shaped into the most precious thing for the squirrels was ignited and that was the signal for the squirrels to attack.

The squirrels waited in the tree until a squirrel got close enough, and when they did, they jumped onboard. The plan had worked! The birds all had a rider on top of them and soon were all directed towards the ground. KUR-THUNK!!!! The sound of dozens of bird head hitting the ground rung out through the air like that off a brick hitting rubber on a hot day. The birds had died! The birds lost!

Like any normal animal in the world once you have defeated your rival you only have one thing left to do, and that is gloat. So, as the squirrels that rode the birds gloated to the birds with broken necks, and throbbing heads, no one noticed a flock of other birds headed right toward the gloaters. The new battalion of birds swooped down and carried off all the squirrels near their fallen comrades. Soon, the sound that once was gloating at their enemy turned to a thousand screams of squirrels. Squirrels heads were being torn open, with the brain and blood spilling out. Nothing could be defined as more horrible than the sound of ones comrades being killed and there being nothing you can do to stop them.

"What, do we just sit here?" asked a startled scout.

"Yes, we do. We are out manned and out gunned. There is no way we could save them," answered Bag-O-Nutz.

So the tiny militia, left the battle field, ready to let go the sound of the still dieing squirrels, and the soon to die. They headed to a hill that over looked the tree, and Bag-O-Nutz said a very touching tiny speech, "They shall not die in vain, you hell-beasts! We will return and shall over throw you. You may have won the battle, but you will not win the war!"

Authors Note: Yes I know the ending had a very cliché line. But I wanted to end it with a dramatic line (or as close as a squirrel can get to dramatic). Please disregard the clichéness.