Ugh, what happened? Damn, I hurt all over.
What…? What the hell? AH! I'm blind! I'm blind! I can't see! I've gone blind! No… wait. There's a light coming from somewhere. Where is that coming from? A hole in… a wall?
Where am I? What is this place? …Some sort of room… some sort of cell.
Hello? Hello? Can anyone hear me? CAN ANYONE HEAR ME? HELLO?
What the hell is going on? Where am I? A tiny room with no windows and only a large steel door in one wall. No handle. That's it. Three blank walls and one with a large door in it. No furniture. No windows. And a small hole in the door.
Hello? Is anyone there? Help me!
No one. I can't see anything through the hole; I can barely see anything at all. Just large enough for a little faint light to get in, but not large enough to see through. Oh well. A little light is better than none, I guess.
Argh! Why do I hurt so badly? What the hell happened to me? Was I attacked? Am I in jail? Ow. My whole body aches. I bet I have bruises on me. All over me. My back, my neck, my arms, my legs. My head. My jaw. The back of my eyes hurt. The back of my teeth hurt. Damn it all, what the hell happened?
Nothing's broken, feels like, so I'm ok. Gotta sit down. Gotta calm down. Gotta rest and think. Rest first, maybe. Thinking is hard while I hurt. My brain hurts.
Rest. Rest and sleep. Both are good right now. Rest…
Arghrrgluglu! What! Aaahh! Where is this water coming from! It's so cold it's burning me!
Stop! Stop it! It hurts!
It hurts so much! I've never been in so much pain before. Never. Ever. Never!
It's coming from all around me, from the ceiling and the walls, even the floor somehow? How is that possible? I'm so cold. So very, very cold. I'm going to drown in here, I just know it! I'm drowning! I can't breathe! Oh my God, I'm dying! I'm dying! What did I ever do to deserve this? Why am I here? Why, God? Why?
It stopped. I can breathe now. The water stopped.
All I can hear is water in my ears and a dull ringing. Is that ringing in my head or around me? I can't tell. I can't tell! I'm fucking blind and now I'm deaf! What's next?
Ugh. I just threw up some water. It's all down me. I can feel it. It's warm trickling down my chin and chest. Ugh.
Now I'm cold and wet on top of hurt and bruised. And my skin hurts like I've been sleeping on a nail bed. A thousand little pinpricks all nicking me at once. I hurt even more than I did before.
How long have I been here? How long will I stay here?
Let me out! Let me out!
My screaming is starting to hurt my throat. Why is no one answering me? Why is no one around?
There's a draft coming from somewhere. It must be from somewhere in the walls. I can't feel any opening or grate or anything in the walls. Just steel and rivets. Where did the water come from? Where is the breeze coming from? What else will come out of these walls?
I'm cold, I can hear my teeth chattering. I have to sit down and huddle with my knees. Keep myself warm. That's a little better. Still shivering, though. Rock back and forth. Isn't movement supposed to make you warmer than just sitting still? I think so. I hope so. Rock. Rock. Back. Forth. Back Forth. Pendulum. I am a pendulum. I am a swing. Back and forth. Back and forth.
I remember back to when I was a child- couldn't have been more than six or seven- and I was swinging. It was warm then, back then in the real world. So warm. The sun on my skin and hair. I was swinging on a swing set somewhere, I don't remember. Back and forth. The wind in my hair. The sun on my skin. The smell of trees and grass for some reason. Maybe someone just mowed their lawn? Back and forth. How I loved swinging that swing. I could have done that for eternity. But something stopped me. My joy stopped. It was when something broke, I guess it was one of the links in the swing's chain, but whatever it was, I was suddenly flying. I was surprised, sure, but more than that, I was free. I was weightless and free. I felt so great. My eyes were closed and I was flying higher and higher, past all the trees and buildings and airplanes and clouds. I kept going up and up and up. Forever.
Then I was falling. Weight came back and I was falling so fast. So far. It was a long fall, I remember that. I thought to myself 'why is it taking so long?' I opened my eyes and I saw the ground in front of me, coming down to me. I don't remember hitting the ground. I guess I blanked out. I don't remember what happened next. It was such a long time ago.
I'm still shivering. The thoughts of warmth didn't help, and neither is moving around. I can feel the goosebumps on my arms and legs. They feel so rough. Like sandpaper almost.
I can't see my hands; the light has gone. Someone turned it off?
Hey! Hey! Is someone there? Help me! Somebody? Help me…
No one is there. This is getting scary. Why is there no one around? Why can no one hear me? Why does no one help me? I don't think I did anything wrong. I didn't break any laws, I don't think. What did I do?
What have I done! Why am I here?
Gotta stop screaming like that. My throat is really hurting now. It hurts to swallow. Need some water or something. A lozenge. Something. I gotta relax. If I wear myself out, I'll die in here.
I don't want to die!
I won't die. Someone will come by sooner or later. Maybe they're just torturing me? Softening me up for some interrogation? Is this what it feels like to go through rendition? I'm no terrorist. I'm nobody. I've never hurt anybody. Never.
What…? What's that noise? Am I imagining it? No, I can't be. It's too real. Where is that coming from? From… all around me! Something is going to happen, I'm sure of it. More water? Something else? I can't hide from whatever is going to happen, not if it comes from all around me again. I'm defenseless. Totally defenseless.
The noise is unbearable, but nothing's happening. For fuck's sake, why is nothing happening?
Gah! I can't stay this tense for much longer, but I know that as soon as I relax, something'll happen. Or maybe I'm supposed to wear myself out when nothing is going to happen?
Do something already! Come on!
There! The noise stopped.
"Hello? Is someone there?"
Now I'm hearing things. I'm losing my mind, I know it.
"Hello? Help me!"
Huh? I didn't say that? Someone else is here!
Hello? Hello? I'm here!
"Hello? Where are you?"
I'm here, in some sort of cell! There's only a door here. Where are you?
"I- I don't know! I just woke up. I'm in some sort of room. There's only a door here too! Are you on the other side of it?"
Yes! Yes, it sounds like you're right next to the door!
"Where are we? It's hard to see anything; it's so bright it hurts my eyes."
Bright? I'm in the dark, here. Can't see a thing!
"Weird. How long have you been there?"
I don't know! I woke up but then passed out again. I really don't know how long. You say you only just woke up?
"Yes! And the first thing I did was call out and you answered me!"
So you didn't hear me yelling and screaming before?
"No, I didn't hear anything. I only just woke up… where am I? Where are we?"
I don't know. I really don't know. I woke up in the dark and then passed out again and then was nearly drowned by some sort of shower thing.
"What's going on? Why are we here?"
I don't know. I'm as confused as you. I really don't know anything about anything here.
"How do I know you're not some creep who's done all this? How do I know you're not the one who put me here?"
No! Why would I do that?
"Maybe you're some sort to pervert or murderer?"
I'm not. I'm locked in here just the same as you. Or am I? How do I know you're not the murderer?
I don't know that.
"I swear I'm not!"
Well then, we're both in this together.
Wait! There's that noise again!
"What the hell is that?!"
I don't know! It comes and goes! Maybe something is going to happen?
I don't know.
God, the noise is massive. My brain is vibrating to it. I feel like I want to explode or dig my ears out of my head! I feel it in my feet and the bottom of my stomach! The noise is everything! Everywhere!
"Ahh! Turn it off! Stop it! It hurts!"
Whoa! The floor just shuddered beneath me. What's going to happen?
"Did you feel-?"
Yaa-ow! The whole room just flipped over, rolling over on itself! I landed pretty heavily. My shoulder and neck hurt. More bruises.
The noise has stopped.
"What the fuck was that?"
I don't know. I just got flipped over.
"Yeah. What the hell is going on?"
I don't answer. I've already made it clear I don't know anything anymore.
"I want to go home. I really want to go home! I don't like it here…"
Look, it's ok. We're both in this together, right? I don't know how, but we'll get out of this, you hear me? I'm here.
"God, we're never getting out of here! We're going to be left here to die! Someone's playing with us and we're gonna end up dead!"
No, we're not! Somehow we'll make it through this.
The noise again. Goddamn I hate that noise.
"Argghh! Not again!"
Again the noise builds louder and louder until it seems the very walls should be shaking and my ears should be breaking. The world is sound!
It's stopped again. That was too quick.
"Ahhh! What the hell is that?"
What is it? There's nothing here.
"Ahh! No! Get away! Get away from me! Help me! Help me! Oh God he's going to kill me! Please, no! I haven't done anything, please don't kill me!"
I can hear something. Blades. Lots of blades.
Hey! Take me instead! Hey! You hear me? Take me instead! You bastard! Take me!
"Nonononono! Please, god no! I don't want to die! Ohhh…. God, NO!!"
I pound over and over on the door but it's no good. I can't help. I can't do anything. I'm so powerless. So weak.
Now it is the screams the fill my ears. Over and over the screams start and stop and I can't do anything to help this poor person. I can only listen to this hell! They go on and on and on. I can't stop crying. I can't stop. It's hard to breathe between sobs. The sounds of someone dying in the most horrendous way possible is too much. It's too much! I've never felt this horrible and sick in my life. I vomit on the floor and then can't stop retching. My tears mix with the mess and only make it more of a mess. My arms and legs give out from under me and I am on my back, choking on my sobs. It's even harder to breathe.
Finally the screams have stopped. Finally that torture is over. But the sound doesn't disappear. My ears still ring with those awful sounds. Go away! I can't take it! Go away and leave me alone!
You bastards! You fucking assholes! Why did you do that? Why didn't you kill me? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT? What do you want from me? What did I do? Huh? What did I do to you? Why am I here?
I pound on the door but it doesn't even made a sound. Only my flesh smacking onto steel.
Why am I here? Why the fuck am I here!
Why am I here……………..