Chapter 11: Breathe

Beth was having mixed feelings while she was at her parent's house. She felt guilty for leaving Gray and missed him terribly. When she had gotten home, her entire family who had all come to see her embraced her. They celebrate Christmas and she booked a flight to go back to school, feeling bad for only having enough time to spend a couple of days with her family. However, she wouldn't change the weeks she spent with Gray and Blue Demon for the world.

She got out of bed and stretched. She hadn't had a good night's rest since she had left Gray. She missed feeling him next to her. She walked into her bathroom and washed her face, getting ready to start her day. Walking out of the bathroom, she got dressed, grabbing her wallet and keys as she stuffed her feet into her shoes.

Going downstairs, she called a quick goodbye to her parents and told them not to worry about her. She needed to clear her head and stop thinking about Gray. She hoped that a drive would help that as she got into her car and pulled out of the driveway. She turned on the radio to the rock/alternative station. Blue Demon was on and she turned the volume up, listening to the words…

Once again I've played the fool

Thinking you would stay here with me

I've been longing for a home

But now I know that

Home was buried within you

She felt tears come to her eyes as she turned the volume up louder and rolled down the windows. She was feeling the same way. She regretted ever leaving him but she had to see her family before going back to school. She had needed to do that.

I can't eat

I can't sleep

I can't go on without you

She got on Veterans Expressway and rode it down to Westshore. She was unsure of where exactly where she was going. She decided to trust her heart with where it would lead her and not listen to her head this time.

I know I shouldn't ask but

Would you offer the world in your eyes

And come back to me

Because home is

Home is buried within you

She was going to the airport she figured out as she neared it. Her ticket was already in her car so she was going to see if they could exchange it for a flight for today. She need to see him before it was too late.

I can't eat

I can't sleep

I can't go on without you

Do you know you make everyone disappear

It's with you I belong

She was his muse, his love. How could she have abandoned him? She loved him. She could have stayed with him. She should have stayed with him. Her parents would have understood if she explained the whole thing and promised to come see them during spring break or sooner.

But you went on your way

Back to the home I wasn't

Now I'm cursing the miles between us

And trying to find another way to live

She couldn't breathe as she pulled over. He didn't need her anymore. He was moving on without her. She didn't know how he could get over her so quickly. She had thought their love was special. Maybe she had been wrong.

But I can't

Not without you

Home is buried within you

It lies within you

She let out a grateful sigh and pulled back into traffic. He still needed her. She could go back to Ashtabula and be with him. She would stay with him. To hell with college right now, he was more important than that.

And I can't eat

I can't sleep

I can't go on without you

Do you know you make everyone disappear

It's with you I belong

"I'm coming Gray." she whispered as she veered off into the ramp that led to the airport. "I'm coming and we'll get married just like you wanted us to. We'll live happily ever after."

I can't go on without you

Not now or one more day

Do you know you make everyone disappear

Because it's with you I belong

The DJ came on as the swelling of orchestral instruments and piano died down and the song ended. "This is Smacker, your favorite bay area DJ. That was the new song by Blue Demon and as you could hear, it is very emotional and heartfelt.

"Apparently the lead singer and lyricist Wolf Gray found a new muse. It's very different from their early beginning work but it's good. His new muse is reportedly his ex-wife, Leslie Graham. It is rumored that they have reconciled and she is responsible for his new material that we've been hearing so much about lately."

Beth slammed on her brakes, not caring that there were cars behind her and broke down into tears. She figured that she should have known that Leslie would have picked up the pieces when she left Gray. She thought that he hated her. He had told her that he did but maybe he lied. Maybe she really didn't know him at all.

She made an illegal turn and drove across the median, not caring what she did was wrong. She drove back to Westshore and headed for the mall. She needed music. She needed angry chick music.

Tears filled her eyes again but this time they strolled leisurely down her cheeks. She licked her lips and tasted the salty tears as she wiped vainly at her eyes. She stopped behind a car and wiped her face on her shirt, not caring who was looking at her. She laid her head on the steering wheel only to jerk up a second later at the honk of a horn. Without looking at the light she stepped on the gas and rammed into the car in front of her.

She looked up in horror as she slammed on her brakes. She had just smashed into a silver Bentley. Still wiping at her tears she got out of her car and closed the door. "I'm so sorry. I wasn't paying attention. I'll find a way to pay for your car's damages, I swear." she said looking at the ground.

"Beth." a voice whispered and she looked up in time to see Gray's face before he swept her into a massive bear hug. She could feel practically every inch of his body. "I missed you so much."

Tears came stronger as she hugged him back fiercely and cried into his chest. She forced out how sorry she was and repeated it over and over as a mantra. He pulled back and kissed her hungrily and passionately before kissing away her tears. He pulled her back into a hug.

"Don't cry. Please don't cry. I'm sorry." he whispered into her hair. "I was being selfish. I didn't want to have to share you with anyone else. I wanted to be the only one you needed but I know that you need your family. Family is a big thing that you just can't cut out of your life because someone is being a selfish ass. You had every right to leave. You have nothing to be sorry about."

"I love you." she told him and he smiled, kissing her again.

"I love you too."

"I'm really sorry about your car."

"It's okay, it was actually for you. I'll just buy you a new one." She opened her mouth to protest. "Fine I'll pay for this one to be fixed and I'll buy you a new one just because."

She knew she wouldn't be able to change his mind so she hugged him again. "On the radio, the DJ was saying how Leslie is your muse and when I heard that I just…what are you doing in Tampa anyway?"

He smiled. "You caught me. I was coming to see you. I heard what that DJ said and he was wrong. The only new muse that I've had in the last month was you. I wrote that the day you left. I drove to the airport nearly an hour after you'd left, hoping I could catch you but you were gone."

"Oh Grayson." she whispered and kissed him deeply.

They ignored the honking behind them and relaxed against each other, happy to be with one another again. Eventually they pulled away and Gray smiled down at her. "I guess I'll have to move to Kingston for the next couple of years, won't I?"

The End


thanks to all of those who reviewed and read this story, i really appreciate it. - The Mischievous One