05/05/06 John-Michael Koroloff

The Dangers of Relationships

You meet a nice girl or guy at a store and your first impression is how great looking they are. They seem attractive and exactly your type, but that is until you start an intimate relationship with them that you start to realize their true nature. Suddenly they're uncaring, unloving and in other words completely uninvolved with the relationship at hand. Being with them becomes a chore and you are their personal slave setting out to do all that your loved one commands. Nevertheless, you still have a weak spot somewhere in your heart for them. There are many dangers to starting a relationship. For that purpose I will outline some of the hazards of what you might be getting into and how to get yourself out. Suddenly your interest doesn't seem all that smooth do they?

A common link to disaster in any good relationship is a level of mistrust and jealousy that a partner can display during the duration of seeing that person. Your friends used to surround you all the time and then all of a sudden it's as if you're not allowed to go out anymore. Not to mention that often you will lose trust in the people that used to be so-called friends. However, your partner remains high up on the pedestal, far enough to control your every action and manipulate you based on their jealous intentions. At the same time you also gain jealous traits created by your partner and suddenly girls/guys that they are allowed to talk to will enrage you. Specifically, your overall mood will become inflicted with upset and angry days, subsequently, destroying the relationship among friends and family. Pointing fingers and throwing accusations is also another common fate of a helpless victim of manipulation, although, almost 90 of the time the blame is never truly placed on the right person. Mistrust and jealousy though are the starting link in a chain of worse things to come.

Beyond jealousy and mistrust comes an even worse form of manipulation called emotional blackmail. This quote said it best from the movie Annie, "How lucky I am to have something so hard to say goodbye to." Sounds sweet and innocent, but, on the contrary to this quote is that with emotional blackmail it'll never be too hard to say goodbye. However, you'll never really part ways either. Unfortunately, certain people find it important to show their love in an odd way. Threatening their dear loved ones with thoughts of suicide or heartbreak if left alone. This tool is utilized only to seal your trapped beloved in place in order to keep control and maintain your dysfunctional relationship; nevertheless you still can't help but love them because they are the only one who understands you. They are your soul mate and apparently they complete you and who you are.

Eventually you creep up to the last and final stage of anarchy in your so-called demanding relationship, which inevitably might be physical or emotional abuse! This is known as the last stage because quite usually most people will snap back to their senses, and break their infatuation over a person. However, not all are guaranteed to be that lucky. Abuse happens to be very common among high school relationships. Many teens and adults have fallen victim to ill-fate and allowed themselves to be monopolized by the ones they saw as close to them. In other words it hurts to allow or even to see a friend be hurt by a force your sure could be stopped, but in the end isn't. Nevertheless, they happen to be very much in love and no amount of purple on their body will change that. However, you can only carry on so long until the abuse gets more physical and more damaging to your self-esteem that your demeanor is ruined. Emotional and physical abuse is not to ever be tolerated and if faced with violent situations, in particular fighting, never put up with it.

There are many other dangers to worry yourself with then just the three outlined above, but don't be pressured because not all relationships end in pain and misery. Dating is a fun and new way to meet new people and it can be a greater portion of your life, but it can also be a terrifying portion as well. Allow yourself to recognize the person that you are getting into something serious with, before following through on regrettable actions. Somewhere along the lines you just have to remind yourself that in a relationship there are rules to follow, but don't allow your romantic and expressive love for one another form into a competition of control and oppression.