On this page, I say my last goodbye
The last refrain of a hollowed out soul
Nothing makes sense now, it's all gone gray
Turned my life into a spinning Hell
.
On this page, my last chorus is sung
Here among those who know I'm not crazy
Surrounded by those who saw me through
And shunned by those who didn't care
I submit to the beast, the burden on my shoulders
That which would not go quietly
.
On this page, my final chapter is written
The long downfall, the everlasting spiral
The last gasp of air before the fiery demise
I wish I could know how I could've turned out
Instead of what I unwillingly became
.
On this page, my last visit has ended
The grueling hours spent in the sterility of white rooms
In the padded couches of all doctors
Surrounded by endless diplomas which,
Though sweated and bled to achieve,
Couldn't come close to my torment's true manifest
.
On this page, the last pill is swallowed
The medications given to shut me down and turn me off
The pills blindly given so nothing would work
So if it couldn't be found, everything could be stopped
And it would die along with everything else
.
On this page, my casket is closed
I just couldn't live the way I had turned out
'A permanent solution to a temporary problem'
They have no idea;
Unable to look them in the face
Unable to connect
Unable to eat, unable to sleep
Lost in my thoughts
Terrified of my dreams
Held hostage by what I wanted most
.
On this page, my love is expended
My parents never knew, I couldn't tell them
They wanted to know, they asked, even pleaded
But they don't see the things I see
And don't feel the terror I feel
And I'm so afraid without them
But they couldn't comfort me anymore
.
On this page, my apologies are sobbed on shoulders
My final admittance of the destruction I endured
It was all a misunderstanding, a simple idea
Though nothing is simple anymore
.
On this page
I say my last goodbye
The sorry end to a life not lived
I could've been all I dreamed
But was swallowed by what I could not control
So as I ascend into the Earth
Pray
That I am only an example
And not a foretelling