(This entire one-act play takes place in an elevator in an apartment building in New York. This elevator is old and falling apart. You can see this in the missing railings, gum stuck on the railings that are still there, and in the dents and chips in the walls. The only entrance on the stage is the door that opens in the middle of the set. As the lights come up, the audience hears some elevator music playing an old-fashioned jazz tune. Jake enters, wearing a black suit with a white shirt and tie, and pushes the button to take him to floor 38 and leans against the wall of the elevator casually, loosening his tie. He is carrying about 6 balloons with the words "Happy Birthday" printed on them and a black suitcase. He ties the balloon strings to the handle of the suitcase and puts it on the floor. The balloons are at just the right height to drift over and rub against his face and hair. He brushes them away, but they keep coming back. Finally, he reaches down and moves the suitcase to one side of the elevator and retreats to the opposite side. On the sixth floor, the door opens again and Ryan enters wearing jeans, a T-shirt, and sneakers, carrying a green gift bag.)

Jake: Hello, Ryan!

Ryan: Hey, Jake!

Jake: (amazed) I didn't think you were going to come.

Ryan: (pushes the button to floor 38) Why wouldn't I?

Jake: (uncomfortably) Well, I…ah, that is…What is that? (points to the gift bag)

Ryan: (holds up the bag) This? I'm not going to tell you. You'll have to wait to see just like everyone else. I like your choice of balloons.

Jake: Oh, thanks!

Ryan: Why are you taking this elevator?

Jake: What do you mean?

Ryan: I mean, this elevator is so old. They're going to shut it down any day, aren't they?

Jake: Well, it may stall every once in a while for a couple of seconds, but it hasn't fallen apart completely, yet. Why are you on this elevator?

Ryan: The other elevator was packed tighter than a can of Sardines. I can't stand having all those people crowding me.

Jake: I think that's called claustrophobia.

Ryan: It is, genius.

(They have reached the tenth floor. The elevator dings and the door opens to admit Sam, who is wearing jeans and a sweater, and carrying a white cake-box.)

Sam: Hi, there, Jake! (he trips on the rug on the way in, landing flat on his face. He barely manages to keep the box from being dropped or landed on and squished.) Whoa! That was close!

Ryan: Hello, Sam.

Sam: Oh, hello Ryan. I didn't see you there.

Ryan: That's alright.

Sam: (spotting the gift bag) What did you get Mother?

Ryan: I'm certainly not going to tell you.

(Sam climbs to his feet. Ryan has retreated into the corner with all of the balloons, and he has a brief struggle with his claustrophobia in a cloud of balloons. Jake rescues him and puts his suitcase with the balloons near the door. An uncomfortable silence grows during which the two brothers Sam and Ryan don't look at each other. Finally Jake clears his throat.)

Jake: So, Ryan, what have you been doing?

Ryan: Oh, a little of this and that. I got a job at Frank's Auto Shop.

Jake: That's----

(He is interrupted by a loud creaking sound and then a crash. The elevator music stops. They all look around, confused.)

Sam: Why isn't the elevator moving anymore?

Ryan: I don't know. (He puts down the bag and bangs on the walls. Sam tries to open the door, but doesn't succeed.)

Jake: (yells) Hello? Can anyone hear us? (pause) I guess not.

Ryan: I've got a cell phone. I'll just call Mom.

Sam: No!

Ryan: Oh, yeah. We were going to surprise her, weren't we.

Jake: Call the apartment office.

Ryan: Okay. Sam, what's the office number?

Sam: (hesitates) I don't know.

Ryan: How can you not know? Is your world so perfect that you've never had to call the apartment managers?

Sam: No, it's just that, well, Mother always calls when something goes wrong.

(Jake tries really hard not to laugh. Ryan does a better job, but still has a hard time saying his next words.)

Ryan: In that case, I guess we're stuck here for now.

Sam: What? This can't happen! Isn't there anything else you can do? We have to get to Mother's apartment on time! We can't be stuck here, we just can't!

Jake: Heaven forbid the metronome of your existence should be thrown off!

Sam: What's that supposed to mean?

Ryan: (ignoring them both) Hey, cool down Sam. Jake's just joking, aren't you, Jake. (looks sternly at Jake, then turns back to Sam) Mom will understand that we got stuck in the elevator. This piece of junk is always breaking down. So it won't be a surprise party, big deal. She'll still be surprised, won't she?

Sam: No! Ryan, you don't understand…

Ryan: (interrupting) What don't I understand? (sarcastically) I know, I won't understand how you and Mom have grown so close over the last year that she can now read your mind. Please, spare me.

Jake: (uncomfortably) Ah, well, at least we won't starve if we're in here for a very long time.

Sam: Huh?

Jake: Yeah, we can eat the cake.

Sam: What!? There is no way we are going to eat Mother's birthday cake without her! I'd rather we eat our shoes before I'll let anyone eat a single bite of this cake before the party starts!

Jake: (jokingly) I thought we were the party.

Ryan: Jake, just leave him alone. Sam's so stubborn that if worst comes to worst, he will make sure that we do eat our shoes, just to have his own way.

Sam: (stubbornly) I'm not stubborn.

Ryan: Whatever you say, big brother.

(Sam glares at both of them, then turns his back on the audience and facing the door, then sits down on the floor, first battling the balloons. He watches the door as if waiting for it to open, though not patiently. Ryan and Jake look at each other, then Ryan does an exaggerated impression of Sam, sitting facing the wall on stage left. This makes Jake laugh, earning him a look from Sam, who didn't see Ryan's impression of him. Ryan turns back around, still sitting on the ground.)

Ryan: What've you been doing, Jake?

Jake: Not much.

Ryan: Well, talk about something.

Jake: What?

Ryan: I dunno, anything. Anything to pass the time until we get out of here.

Jake: Okay. I beat the high score on Barbie Horse Adventure.

Ryan: (snorts with laughter) You're kidding!

Jake: Well, I personally didn't, but my little sister did.

Ryan: How old is your sister?

Jake: Sixteen.

Ryan: No, really, how old is she?

Jake: Sadly, she is sixteen and she did beat the high score on Barbie just three nights ago. She's still rubbing it in my face.

Ryan: (laughs) What about work? Or have you discovered a buried treasure that allows you to live in luxury and leisure?

Jake: That would be a welcome change, as it so happens that I'm still working at that box company.

Ryan: That slave job? I thought you said you were going to quit.

Jake: I almost did, but then they promoted me to a managing position. It still feels like I'm getting beat to death with cattle prods every day, but at least I'm somewhat decently paid.

Ryan: Sometimes you are just plain weird. Do you have different hours? I thought you would still be at work at (looks at his watch, but he doesn't have one) Hey, Sam, what time is it?

Sam: (looks at his watch) it's a quarter past four.

Ryan: Thanks. Shouldn't you still be at work?

Jake: (laughs) I've got better hours, but I usually am at work now. Honestly, I think that in a previous life my boss was a slave driver. It's so hard to get some time off fromhim that I had to work right through lunch to convince him to let me come to the birthday party.

Ryan: And now the elevator is stuck.

Jake: Yeah, and I'm starving without my lunch. (looks at Sam) Think Sam's serious about not letting me have any cake?

Sam: (Whirls around) Don't even think about it. You're not getting any cake until we get out of here. (turns back around, looks at his watch, and continues watching the door impatiently.)

Jake: (rolls his eyes at Sam and mutters) Dirty cake Nazi. (louder) So, Ryan, you said you got a job?

Ryan: Yeah, which is more than Sam can say.

(Sam turns around and glares at Ryan)

Sam: Why do you have to do that?

Ryan: What?

Sam: Why do you have to always be nagging at me, always bugging me, never leaving me alone!

Jake: We do it because we love you.

Sam: I don't mean you, Jake. I mean him.

Ryan: Sam, you know I can't help it. For one thing, I'm your younger brother. It comes in the job description. For another reason, you're just such an easy target. You still live with your mother, you can't get a date, and last I checked you were still sleeping with a nightlight.

Sam: Alright, for your information, it's not a nightlight, it's a humidifier with a light built in. Second, I happen to be dating a very wonderful girl who is going to the same college…

Jake: (interrupting) Her name is Griselda. She also has pointy ears.

Sam: (Blushing) Shut up. Lastly, I live with Mother because I am going to college and it saves on boarding and food costs.

Ryan: Know what? You are pathetic. I'm your younger brother and I've been living by myself, supported by myself, for the last year.

Sam: Oh, so now your mister big shot because you live by yourself. Believe me, I'm not all that pathetic. There are guys in their thirties that are living with their mother while going to college.

Ryan: What makes you think that's not going to be you in ten years?

Sam: We should save this 'till later.

Ryan: Why? So you can run and hide?

Sam: I'm not the one in the family who runs away.

(Ryan is deeply hurt by this. He stands up and walks a couple of steps downstage and stands facing the invisible wall opposite the door. Sam leans back against the door, watching him with a sneer. Jake doesn't know what to do about his friends' fighting; he leans toward Sam, then takes a step towards Ryan. Finally he sits down where Ryan had been sitting.)

Jake: That's a cool watch you've got, Sam.

Sam: Thanks.

Jake: Isn't that the one that you got for your birthday last year?

Sam: Yeah, my dad gave it to me.

Ryan: Now you get to hear all about this precious watch and how it's so special and important and blah, blah, blah. Who cares?

Sam: Just shut up, Ryan.

Ryan: Why don't you make me?

(Sam glares at him, then becomes extremely occupied examining the balloons.)

Jake: (giving up and resorting tohis most powerful weapon, his jokes)You know, Sam, maybe you and Ryan could try not to argue, seeing how we're stuck in an elevator together, and it would be uncomfortable for me if one of you killed the other. Imagine that police report, (in a reporter voice) "College-age bachelor found dead in elevator. Appears to have been beaten to death by a cake by his brother. Body was so mutilated and covered in frosting that it was necessary to identify him using his dental record."

(Ryan and Sam both start laughing, then quickly stop and look at each other. Ryan turns back toward the audience and Sam turns back to Jake.)

Sam: Thanks for helping me see how immature I was acting, Jake. It's just that, well…Ryan is so…annoying.

Ryan: Oh, so now I'm annoying, like a mosquito.

Jake: I know! How about both of you just pretend I'm not here. (he reaches into his suit-coat and pulls out amanga and begins to read, trying to stay out of in between the brothers.)

Ryan: Say it. You think I was running away when I moved out.

Sam: Weren't you?

Ryan: Stop! You were always our parents' favorite. You were their perfect child, always did what they asked, never went anywhere, always home from school at 3:15 on the dot. You were all they needed, but they got me, too.

Sam: Come on, you're better than me at everything. School, sports…

Ryan: But not at being their son. It always seemed that it didn't really matter to them if my soccer team won a game, or that I had a game. They only noticed me when I did something wrong.

Sam: That's not true. Dad talked about you all the time.

Ryan: (quietly) Really?

Sam: Yeah.

Ryan: Well, that would've been nice to know sixteen years ago.

Sam: It's not my fault! Why are you bitter with me about all of this?

Ryan: I'm not bitter with you.

Jake: (looking up from his manga) That's almost as bad as Sam saying that he's not stubborn.

Ryan: (ignoring him) Okay, say you finally decide to move out.

Jake: Oh, then this is a hypothetical situation.

Ryan: (still ignoring him) You finally get all moved out of that stuffy, old apartment you share with Mom, and it's the most amazing feeling in the world. You are working for yourself, taking care of yourself, and you are free of everything. And then, just one wonderful week after you move out, Mom dies in a car crash. Wouldn't you be just a little upset?

Sam: Well, yeah, but…

Ryan: (interrupts) I know, you're really close to Mom, but I still loved Dad, even with everything else.

Jake: You weren't the only one going through a hard time.

Sam: (embarrassed) Jake!

Jake: Really, Ryan. Sam here came over to my house a lot at that time. Said he missed having a brother around.

Sam: (looking down) It was hard losing you and Dad practically at the same time.

( The whole elevator falls quiet. Ryan slowly comes back and sits at stage right.)

Ryan: Maybe it was a little selfish of me to just leave you and Mom to yourselves after Dad died.

Sam: (shrugs) I got through. Mom worried about you enough for both of us.

Jake: Don't listen to him Ryan. His grades dropped all the way to a B. It was absolutely terrible.

Sam: No, they fell all the way to a B.

Ryan: (laughs) I kind of like having my brother back.

Sam: (suddenly, it just occurred to him) Wait, I've got my palm pilot with me!

Jake: We are saved! Now, we can play Tetris until we go insane.(puts hismanga away.)

Sam: No, no, I have emergency phone numbers on here. We can call the apartment office!

Ryan: How come you didn't get out your list of emergency numbers when we first stopped?

Sam: I don't know; I should have remembered right away.

Jake: Remember, Ryan? Sam's life is so perfect that he never even looks at his emergency phone list, let alone recall that he has one.

Sam: I thought we just made it very clear that my life is not perfect.

Ryan: Just give me the list, Sam. ( Sam hands him the palm pilot and Ryan dials the number on his cell phone. He waits and then begins speaking.) Hello? Office? This is Ryan Blacker, Katie Blacker is my mother…Yes, me, my brother, Sam, and our friend Jake Johnsten are stuck in the elevator… Yes…No, don't call her, it's her surprise birthday party…Yeah… are you sure?… There's no way to get us out sooner?…Alright, thank you…bye. (He hangs up and looks up at Jake and Sam.) The secretary said that there is a repair man working on it right now and they should have us out in three hours.

Sam: (leaps to his feet) Three hours!? That's too long! Why can't they get us out sooner?

Ryan: (laughing) Sam, I've figured it out. The reason I bug you is because you are so fun to tease. They said that we'll be out of here in about five minutes.

Jake: (also laughing) That's just plain cruel.

Ryan: (mock solemnly)Yes, but not as cruel as being stuck in an elevator with you for three hours would be.

Sam: (finally joining in laughing) That's the truth.

(The elevator music starts back up and the door opens.)

Ryan: (grins) Freedom at last! (he grabs the gift bag and bolts out through the balloons out the open door)

Jake: Finally, I'll be able to eat that cake!

Sam: That's right.

Jake: (pauses) By the way, what kind of cake is it?

Sam: It's carrot-cake, Mother's favorite.

Jake: (crestfallen) You're kidding!

Sam: No. Why?

Jake: I've been dying to eat a piece this whole time. It has consumed my most inward thoughts. I was willing to do anything to get that cake, but I'm allergic to carrot-cake!

(They both laugh, though Mat laughs not quite as loud as Sam. Ryan comes back in.)

Ryan: What are you guys laughing at? Let's go throw a birthday party!

Jake: Just be careful not to throw it too hard. It might break.

(Jake picks up his suitcase and the balloons. All three exit through the door and the lights fade out.)