Sometimes I wonder,

What if you knew me?

I mean really knew me.

Understood me.

If you could enter my mind

Even for only an hour

You would not like what you found.

The streams of confusion that flow there.

The demons faced every day.

The fact that I try to control them.

You would find soon enough.

The fear that penetrates me.

The unreasoning fury I feel

When one of the demons breaks loose.

The confusion that envelops so many things.

No, the reason I am silent

Is this one.

The fear that if I should open my mouth

What I really can think would come out.

No, I have to be this way.

Silent, distant.

For, if you really knew me,

You would not like what you found.