i have loved you every moment you existed to me.

when you were gray and dusty on my wall.
when you were shadowed on my neck.

you slide like sunlight through my fingers
when I try to grasp you.
like a child lurching through the dark,

i wander through your labyrinths.
every path i turn you creep behind on persian rugs.

i twirled for ages before I realized the slanting dark room
covered you completely.

you tricked me. you held my hand.

it doesn't matter that your chin is rough but your hands are smooth,
that your tongue tastes like lemons,
you smell like sapwood burning in the frost,

your face is blurry. your eyes melt, like watercolors in the rain. like
blueberries, running into muck.
you drip into trees.
your forehead could be the sky.

what do you look like?
I wonder if your atoms swim through space,
like dark matter tangled in stars.

once, you picked me a daisy from my garden,
leaking pollen and budding untamed.
my eyes glazed past it even when it brushed my ankles.
you hovered in fog and bemoaned dying lilies.