the monster crawls and drags its dead weight
inside my head slithering and dribbling greed
drowns out anything
else. silent. eerie hush before
the storm as I scrap my feet up step by step
and every inch inside me
just scuttles away
afraid
shutting me down
slack look of disgust
hanging off my face and hands
and fingertips that stuff handful after handful
and my teeth clamp obediently
half hug the parasites climbing in
the hole in my heart I left them.
it's them that chew me up hollow inside
out chipping and clipping and choking
me up. ripped apart.
the shreds of what's left
scuttle back together just in time
to piece up the strength
to raise two fingers wide. say ahh.
and -red raw- choke
choke
choke

flutter- pause- and

splutter. flush. ringing in my ears
bright pink knees crack & drag me
up to shaky standing point.
wash. wipe. rinse and spit, click
off the lights.

and that's it.