Black oceans fill my soul

Screaming songs of pain laugh in my head

Where do I find this so called "love"?

They turn their backs and laugh

They say it is disturbing

Aching

Painful

Silly

Scary

Nothing…

Like a stab into my heart

Like poison darting from their lips into my skin

My body shivers in the dread

Is my soul not worthy of the pen and the paper?

Is my work evil?

The beauty of love

The fear of wickedness

Is all this terrible to show?

With my hands I draw

I draw out all the things I don't say aloud

That I fear

That I wish

That I hate

That I love

And they are all terrors among my pupils

I feel as if I have hit the bottom of the ocean

When will I reach the surface?

Now

Never

Someday?

Drifting

Drifting

Drifting…

Must my art be condemned to such a fate as this?

So like the tale of Romeo and Juliet?

Where life that I bring only reaps tragedy

And death

I wallow in the corner

My self-pity overtakes me

Please, tell me I'm not insane

Tell me I don't scare you

Tell me…

Tell me…

Tell me that I can make beauty

And not just the never-ending darkness