Like A Car Crash

"Have you ever seen something so tragic, so hurtful happening right in front of your eyes and it killed you because you couldn't do anything to stop it? It was too late to act to stop it because it was going to happen no matter what"
Amber looked down at the ground. It was the only response she could manage. It was too cloudy out. The clouds made the day seem like it was night time. Amber frowned as she focused on the weather. The weatherman had said it would be sunny today. Another lie. Well, at least he didn't mean to lie. Weathermen were always wrong. The weather was quite unpredicatable. She couldn't be comparing the weather to people. The focus on the weather disoriented her. She forgot she was in a park. She forgot she was sitting on a park bench. She forgot she was staring at the cement on the ground. She forgot that she was not alone.
"Amber..." She heard his voice and she remembered all of that. "I"
"I knew it was happening," She interrupted before he could begin. "I knew it before you did. Or before she did. I knew it was happening"
She saw out of the corner of her eyes as he opened his mouth to speak, but then stopped. She closed her eyes and remembered the conversations, the words, the moments when she knew it was happening.

The first time it crossed her mind was when she was sitting at the lunch table. It happened during a simple lunch period.
"Tom said the funniest thing today," Leah, Amber's best friend, had said. "Yesterday. When we were hanging out. He's so funny. I'm so glad Tom and I are becoming friends"
Amber rolled her eyes and nodded. Leah was oblivious to Amber's eye-roll.
"Anyway, I did a stupid thing...I"
Amber was getting fed up. Tom this and Tom that... Why was Leah talking about Tom, anyway? "Does this involve Tom?" Amber asked, finally speaking up.
"Uh...yeah," Leah replied, quietly, almost sort of embarassed that the anwser was 'yes'
"Can you stop it? I'm sick of hearing about Tom," Amber said, bitterly. Leah turned silent. Even after lunch, Amber felt that anger rising within her. 'All she does is talk about Tom. What the hell is up with that? She sounds like me when I used to...'
Amber froze. Her thoughts stopped. Her eyes widened as the revalation came to her.
"No-fucking-way," Amber muttered. "No-fucking-way. She doesn't. She doesn't! No way"
Leah never did follow the request of Amber. Within a day, it was back to 'Tom this, Tom that.' Amber barely heard it anymore. The only thoughts in her head were 'No fucking way' and 'Does she...have feelings for Tom?'

"...Amber? Amber...?"

Amber heard his voice again. She came back from the memories. They were so vivid even though they occured months ago. It could have been an aternity ago.
"Sorry, I was just thinking," Amber said, quietly. She took her eyes off of the cement and she looked straight at him. "Tom, you know it didn't have to come to this. She liked you and I could have stopped it because I knew. I didn't do a damn thing. I asked her about it. I asked her if she did... if she had feelings for you. Every single time, she laughed at me and said, no, she assured me, that she didn't. But her actions proved otherwise. You even noticed"
Tom nodded. "That I did"
"It wasn't that she was lying. She just didn't know yet"
"Amber, I never meant to hurt you," Tom said, suddenly, as if he had been waiting the entirety of his life to say that to her. Amber always had a liking for Tom's voice. He always said her name. She never saw the beauty in her name until he uttered it.

Amber was silent. She felt hurt and angry. Saying that, saying apologies didn't change what happened. It didn't change the pain she felt. It didn't fix anything.
"I know," Amber said, simply. She didn't explode at him or cry. She didn't let out any of the feelings that she actually felt. She just replied with two simple words that captured nothing.
"I just want to fix things," He said, quietly. He seemed like he might start to cry at any given moment. Tom was vunerable and timid. Amber didn't say anything. There were about a million and different ways she could answer. 'You could give me a chance.' 'You can forget about her.' 'You could put me first, for once'
"It's already happened. There's nothing to fix," She said, quietly. She was just as bad as them. She was as bad as the weatherman. She lied to make him feel better because she couldn't stand to see him without a smile on his face. So, she lied, even thought she was against lying. She was a hypocrtie. She was as bad as them.

Amber had thought it was one sided. She thought that he could never do or think as Leah was doing or thinking. Apparently, she thought wrong. It only took her five minutes to figure that out. Leah constantly looked for excuses to touch Tom.

Tom looked for excuses to touch her back.

They were playing a game. They were playing the game of attraction and the game of love. Amber felt as if her existance died because of this game. She felt everything die within her when she realized Tom was the same as Leah. IT seemed as if they were out to get her. They didn't know it yet. Neither of them knew it, except for Amber.

"I'm sorry. I really am sorry," Tom said to her. "Amber, will it ever be the same again"
Amber shrugged. She didn't want to talk to him. He could all of this happen to her?
"It's like a car crash, you know," Amber said. "You could see yourself about to collide with another car, but there's not a damn thing you can do to stop it. You can't react. You're in shock. Then, bang, it happens and you're getting punched in the face by an airbag. You never see it coming. You never see your only friend stealing your boyfriend. You saw the attraction, but you never see as Tom cheats on you with Leah."