Author's Note: Oh my...it's been a while since I last wrote...well, I'm quite sorry again about the Tale of Sleep, I guess it was also getting too predictable for me. This is probably my first-ever one-shot story...I'm not used to it, but I was so flared up by inspiration that I seriously thought, Oh my GOD I have to make a one-shot!!!!!!! This one was also inspired by my very cute Japanese Spitz, Tammy...for some strange reason. Ehehehe...well, enjoy then!!!! Hope you guys like it!!!! ;)
What you are about to read is a journal entry written by Damienne Van Clemence, a twenty-one-year-old college student studying Mass Communications at the Hamilton University. She lives alone in a nearby apartment (as she's never liked being in dorms, for some strange reason) with a part-time job as a deejay at a well-known radio station. Damienne thinks a lot differently from most people, so this entry may seem very strange to most, or some could also relate to this. In essence, it is still a view on life, though it can sound quite vengeful to you. Oh, and before you start, I would like to add that Damienne is a certified dog-lover, and that this may be the only time you could encounter such an entry.
November 10, 2006; 11:00 PM
Finally, I'm done with my homework and I've finished an eighth of my thesis. I know it's not much...but at least it's something. I just felt like writing to you tonight. It's really cold here in the dorm...the heater here isn't really the greatest, but at least the cold doesn't bite as much as it does outside. I just looked through my window and leaves are still falling in clusters. But, somehow, I find the sight of bare trees quite enigmatic and kind of mysterious. Or maybe it's an artist's instinct...something to that effect.
Awww...Georgie just jumped onto the bed with me. She's the cutest Pomeranian I know. My best friend Jeanne's Pomeranian had some puppies and I got to get Georgie for free. Dogs really are such wonderful creatures, aren't they? I hope you could forgive that pawprint my little pup had just put right here...actually it's pretty cute, having a pawprint somewhere on this page.
Hmmm...I've watched enough movies and reality TV shows and also read enough books about dogs to know that these are the most loyal of all mammals. I mean, just look how faithful they really are. I remember seeing this show, as a kid, on National Geographic about this really great Labrador Retriever who accompanied his aging owner all the time to the train station...I don't know, I think the Lab's owner worked someplace where he needed to take a train to get to. Everyday, at sunrise, they'd get up and amble on to the train station, and the dog would wait right there, sit there by the tracks, watch every passing train, wait expectantly for his owner. No...I don't think calling the old guy an "owner" would suffice. The old guy is more like the dog's best friend. And it applies vice-versa too. They're both best friends, now that I think about it. Dogs weren't called "man's best friend" for nothing, after all.
Then there came a day when the old guy didn't return home. The dog just sat there, waiting...and waiting...without even eating, probably. What the dog didn't know what that his friend was rushed to a hospital due to a heart attack. But he still waited. And that, in essence, really touched me. I mean, give me one person in this world who would do that for another. I don't think anyone could come up with an answer to that, honestly. All I can say is that I think only dogs are capable of giving unconditional love and loyalty...besides God, of course.
All right. Maybe there are some loyal men out there. And maybe I know them all. There's only three of them in the world, actually. I'm serious. The first one's my dad, Lionel Van Clemence. The second one's my grandfather, Ambrose Van Clemence. The last one is my brother, Blaine Van Clemence. I think the answer as to why they are loyal is quite obvious, but I feel like elaborating tonight, as Georgie has provided the inspiration for me to do so. Sweet little Georgie...hahaha.
Okay, for one thing, Daddy has always been loyal to Mom. No matter how much they argue about things, they still stay true to each other. Daddy never gave up on Mom. He was always willing to make up with her. I remember when I was small, they used to fight a lot. I got scared, thinking, What if either one of my parents left? God, I don't know how I'll take that. But I woke up every morning to find them both still there...still caring about me, still attending to my needs. I don't think Daddy would ever trade Mom for anyone, and that's what's great about him.
Grandpa Ambrose was loyal to my Grandma Diana to her death. And I think he still is, although I've never been close to the guy. I mean, without him, I wouldn't have been born in the first place. I don't know how long he and my grandma have been married, but only death did do them part. Grandpa Ambrose is still alive now, and even if he doesn't know it, yeah. This is my opinion of my grandfather, but don't get me wrong. I was never the type who was close to my grandparents...except for my maternal grandmother.
My maternal grandmother, Grandma Anita Rose, has loved me from the beginning. I don't know...she isn't the type who plays favorites, really. It's just that, the younger you are, the more she wants to watch you since obviously younger people are more dependent. I was her first grandchild, and she's very wonderful. She's in California now, and oftentimes I hope she's doing fine there with my other mother-side aunts. I'm sure she is. I think I'm a lot closer to my maternal relatives than my paternal ones.
And oh yeah, before I forget, about my brother. He could be ten years younger than me, he could be a pain in the ass sometimes, he could also be a little brat when provoked, but on the whole, he's a good kid. Hell, he's a lot more thoughtful and more affectionate than I am. Daddy says that I must be made of rock to act the way I do. I can't help it -- I think of affection as a sign of weakness...for now, I guess. Who knows, I could outgrow that way of thinking. But I notice that people who are as good as my brother are bound to get hurt. Like what happened to me. That's why I really pray that God would spare my brother. I don't say it out loud, but I really love my brother, no matter how idiotic he can get at times. And I don't think my brother will be spared no matter how much I want it. Blaine needs to learn too.
But anyway, enough about those things. You know enough about my family already, considering the past entries.
Now I think you're wondering, what is it with me with dogs and loyalty? Let me get to the point in a straightforward manner. Dogs will never, ever go to another owner even if they could. Or if they were to be given to another owner, it would take them a really long time to get used to all the new things. And I think they stay reserved for the whole time they're in the other owner's place. With humans, that is a completely different story. Especially the male of the species. Well, allow me to sound like a sexist tonight...a sexist against guys, that is. I don't know. I just took one look at Georgie tonight and I started thinking about these things. And I have this really irresistible urge to write it all down.
You see, Georgie always waits for me and is always happy to see me. She kind of cuddles up to me all the time, especially when I'm sad. I don't know how she knows it, but it's like she can sense whenever I feel like shit and just jumps up onto my lap and wants to get the spot behind her ears scratched. And she depends on me a lot. It feels nice if someone's there to depend on you and all that. I guess it makes me feel needed, whenever Georgie asks me for food or anything at all, which is why I never hesitate in giving my pet Pomeranian what she wants. Now I'm beginning to realize the truth when most psychologists say that pets are capable of giving love. They are...especially dogs, as far as I can see.
And...I don't know. I have ot say that I really love the feeling of being needed by someone...or something, for that matter, if Georgie counts as a something. But I never thought of my dog as a something...she's always been more like a someone to me. I'm a serious dog-lover, that's why I say this. I've always loved dogs...ever since I was a kid I've always wanted a puppy.
I don't think there's any guy on earth capable of doing what Georgie does...at least to me.
Oh shit. Fine. Call it scars of the past or something, but experiences like being traded in for one of your best friends really makes one question her self-esteem. I did...a bajillion times. Thank God my other best friends were all there to tell me that there is nothing wrong with me. I mean, holy crap, I thought I was completely uninteresting which was why it had to happen. Or, to make it easier for you to understand, I thought I was the most boring person on earth to talk to, and I thought I wasn't a good enough friend to anyone. Then again, if I really wasn't a good enough friend, I wouldn't have my closest friends around, so that last one didn't make sense. I can't believe I thought that.
This is seriously all Sebastien's fault.
I think you remember who Sebastien Everett is. I used to go out with him and we were pretty close...until...yeah. When that entire issue happened, I couldn't help but blame my best friend, Kristin Parks. And I can't believe I had to get mad at her to get over everything. Right now we're back together, thank God. I was completely stupid that time. I had thought that Kristin stole him away, really. I mean, ever since Sebastien met Kristin, they started talking a lot...without me knowing it. And Sebastien seemed to want to talk to Kristin more than me. Of course, that really made me feel like pig shit. That was exactly when I started questioning everything about myself.
I guess I'll have to admit here that I did like Sebastien. And I have no idea why I did, now. He was wonderfully sweet and everything...so much that it made me think that, hey, this dude is really, really nice. God. I was so stupid, I can't swallow how much I was so.
You could probably imagine how I felt when Sebastien admitted that he liked Kristin. In summary, you could say holy shit, but that is totally an understatement for a summary. I swear. And I -- coward that I've always been and still admit to being now -- made up my mind and said goodbye to Sebastien. As in I really did. I just wanted everything to be over, to get on with my own life. I was okay until everything happened, and you know how much I despise that. I was not in control, and I really didn't like that. I had to get out of this pathetic state of mine so I could be happy again.
Jeanne and Effie were there the whole time I was all depressed and everything. I'd rant to them almost all the time, and yes, they may have expressed how sick and tired they were of my rambling, but they were still there...I'm so grateful that they are. Right now, none of my friends think I was traded in. I still think I was, though that part of my past is long behind me already. I'm just writing about it since I thought about loyalty.
Right now, Sebastien and Kristin barely talk. Kristin told me that all Sebastien felt for her was infatuation, and that he liked me before too, only he didn't know what I was feeling. And all she and Sebastien talked about was how to get me to talk to them again since I was on an evil trip down Mainstreet Shit. They were becoming a lot closer than Sebastien and I ever were at that time. I remember when I told Sebastien that I was going to cut all ties with the dude, and he was like, don't go and all that. Sheesh. If he wanted me to stay and if he really did miss me (as he said, according to Kristin, but Kristin said that and not him. That doesn't mean I don't trust Kristin...far from it. But I'd prefer things to be more direct in situations like this) he would've done something. Ah, well.
Mom would probably think I'm nuts when I would tell her that dogs are more loyal than men. It sounds nuts, too, on an objective point of view. But I just see Georgie and I guess right now, that is a fact of life for me. I think that the only living creature that truly loves me right now (besides my entire family) would have to be my pet dog. I sound really mean. Who cares anyway? One of my friends told me I should get a little love in my life. Love makes people stupid, that's for sure. And I'm not going to try that again. Cupid hit me in the ass, that's why I fell. I hate him. I sound very evil...tonight is Evil Night for me.
Well, it's getting late. I have to put Georgie to bed. I've learned a lot of things from my experience with Sebastien. One: grandfathers, fathers, younger brothers and dogs are more loyal than any guy on earth. Two: guys can sound sincere if they want to. Emphasis on the sound. Three: Independence for life. Hahahaha!!!!!
Goodnight...I still have to get up early tomorrow...
Damienne Van Clemence
Author's Note: Ahhh...it feels good to have written this piece. It may be a little crappy...but I guess this was an outlet thing. I don't know. I still hope you people like it...thanks!!!!!!! :P