Home sweet home

-

It already happen long ago,

when I even don't realize it.

It's painful when I look back at it now.

I heard things I shouldn't hear,

I saw things I shouldn't see.

For every fight; a wound ended in my childhood heart,

for every scream; a bad dream ended in my sleep,

for every argument; a tear ended in my cheek.

Soon I learn to pretend that nothing has happen in this house,

and feel blessed when it's over,

hoping it will not happen anymore.

-

This home was wrecked when it's only a house.

If this walls could speak,

they tell you what has happen.

If this doors can scream,

they will tell you how many times it was banged.

And if this heart could whisper,

it will tell you how painful it is

to be in this house.

-

As I grew up, I start to understand,

that things would not be the same,

and this will drew us apart to the darkness of the heart.

I learn to stand up straight,

to erase my tear,

and held my head high.

-

I survived those nights,

in the silence of grave.

I remember one night I'm comforting my dad,

but I'm not comforting anyone but myself.

I remember one night my dad come to my bed,

and scrub my head.

I remember one night I sit on the corner,

closing my ears trying not hearing those screams.

I remember one night I pray hard to God,

just to stop those fight for now and forever,

promising that I would give anything.

Now I try to pretend I heard nothing when I heard a scream,

but for every arguments I heard,

I listen closely and I thought it was a fight.

-

I survived those nights,

in the silence of wisdom.

Even now I don't really know what has happen,

all I know that it was a fight.

Even now I doubt the truth that truly lies,

as its too complicated to enter,

and it seems neither of them want it to end.

Even now I doubt those vows that was made,

coz I heard the word that a couple shouldn't say,

as the Saint says what was united by God,

should not be divided by human.

-

Maybe God heard my prayers,

even though it's a hurricane He sent for us,

I somehow knew it meant to unite us,

to pick up the pieces that was left.

Call me the doubter,

but for every complained that my mom said about this situation,

I doubt for the miracle that was send.

I still afraid that someday it will happen again,

and I'm not ready for another scene.

This is crisis that I think shouldn't be unfold,

for "what happen in that house, stays in that house"

but this is not a story,

this is just an open heart.

-

Home sweet home,

an old quotation which I doubt,

but I learn to accept it.

I have no one but this family, and myself

even though I may said that it was a cursed,

but it still my precious.

Even though they were not there when I need,

but at least I know that someone take care of me.

Home sweet home.

-


A/N: You guys may find this difficult to understand, as this is very personal. So, this is about a broken family, the speaker here is the daughter. She just tells about her feelings of being part of the family. In the 6th stanza the hurricane that she's telling is a problem, big one as her father was sick. Anyway, R&R are greatly appreciated. Hope you enjoy the poem! )