Munich, Germany, 1922; a beer hall full of destitute German war veterans who lie around wallowing in their defeat watch one of their middle aged compatriots climb up on a table, and appeal to their bleak situation in such a manner that in 15 years he becomes the single most powerful man in the world and whips a nation of 60 million into a gargantuan mob of frenzied killers. All it takes is 1 person, 1 idea, and 1 short period of time to give a mass of people the conviction to follow a course of criminal action that they will regret for the rest of their natural lives. Arthur Miller's The Crucible depicts, with frightening accuracy, one of America's most egregious instances of such Mob Mentality, that we may seldom look back upon it without a proverbial wince of regret where we have once again butchered in the name of God, and thus our proudly secular country is thereby founded with religious bases… But I digress.

Humanity has seen Mob Mentality take the life of people even in modern times, and in happy circumstances, such as the Who concert in 1975 where 18 people were trampled to death in Cincinnati, but then again, The Who is decidedly awesome… At any rate, my point is simply that Mob Mentality is as all-consuming and inescapable as a pungent bowl full of Salsa del Sol. In fact, life itself is like a bowl of Salsa del Sol in the sense that it is sometimes tasty, and sometimes gross. Sometimes, Salsa del Sol spills on your clothing and leaves a dark, red stain that we will forever carry with us until we pick up some Oxy-Clean (Which is a metaphor for "Writing your senators"). The red stain is the plague of Mob Mentality that occasionally spills over from the Breakfast Burrito of society. When you eat a breakfast burrito, you must have a salsa spill from time to time, because you have to eat breakfast burritos with Salsa del Sol, as stated in God's acclaimed best-seller, The Bible.

Mob Mentality grows as a direct result of Social Norms, which we will henceforth refer to as Ham and Cheese Bagels; Now, even though Ham and Cheese Bagels are the Meat and Potatoes of Breakfast Burritos, and you cannot have Breakfast Burritos without Ham and Cheese Bagels, Salsa del Sol ultimately comes from Ham and Cheese Bagels, even though it targets Breakfast Burritos; therefore, we cannot target Breakfast Burritos for problems brought unto us by Ham and Cheese Bagels. Now that the problem is properly identified, and blame has been given where it is due, we may begin to look for a solution to this problem.

So what is the solution to Mob Mentality, aka Salsa del Sol? Well, we can clearly see that Breakfast Burritos are not the solution, nor are Ham and Cheese Bagels. But there is yet another element to this issue; sometimes, Social Norms mutate and become Social Stigmas, which we will call Rancid Ham. In the Crucible, Deputy Governor Danforth not only enjoyed the foul, acrid taste of Rancid Ham, but he also enjoyed a chilled glass of aged brandy as he contemplated his ever-important role in staining the white shirt of society with his despicable brand of Salsa del Sol. If Danforth were alive today, I would say something to the effect of "You sir, are a dirty, dirty whore. It's people like you that allow our society to thrive under the wing of corruption. I spit at the feet of you and all your ilk… and furthermore, I am not now, nor have I ever been a member of the Communist Party"

Throughout history, we have seen innumerable packets of Salsa del Sol torn open and squeezed liberally over our grand Breakfast Burrito; and mundane examples of Salsa del Sol exist in society even today; from tramplings at Brazilian football matches to Lynchings in the Deep South, we see it plague us every day… And as dreadful as it often is to watch, Breakfast Burritos must have Salsa del Sol; "And the lord saw to it that it was good", states God in his book. Simply put, there is no solution to Salsa del Sol. People must simply learn to accept the Salsa, and minimize its casualties by either tolerance, which we will call Milk, or police brutality, which we will call Chocolate Milk.

Arthur "The fellow who shagged Marilyn Monroe" Miller uses the word "Whore" a great deal, and Freudian Psychology might suggest that the Crucible is a representation of the frustrations of an old man who has been divorced 3 times. Arthur Miller was also persecuted in a similar fashion to his character, John Proctor, by the House of Un-American Activities, and blacklisted, which is racist and unfair; Miller should have been either whitelisted or raciallyintegratedlisted. Regardless, Miller was burned by the cheesy goodness of our Breakfast Burrito, and his acclaimed play is a beautiful representation of the Breakfast Buffet of life.

To sum up: Salsa del Sol is a problem, because it is all over our Breakfast Burritos. Breakfast Burritos create Ham and Cheese Bagels, which, in turn, create Salsa del Sol. Breakfast Burritos seek to solve the issue of Salsa del Sol intrinsically, when the true solution lies in Ham and Cheese Bagels; however, Ham and Cheese Bagels are an inherent by-product of Breakfast Burritos, and subsequently, Salsa del Sol is an inherent by-product of Ham and Cheese Bagels. Since they are so inherent, it is impossible to quell them in their entirety. When Salsa del Sol gets out of hand, and spills all over our white shirt, we must stain-treat it with Milk, Oxy-clean, and Chocolate Milk. My fellow Americans, we must learn to deal with our condiments, so that we may feast upon this tasty Breakfast Buffet of life! We must never accept defeat, never say that racism is "OK", curb the threat of Nazi infestation, learn not to waste power, boycott Oprah, and read the Crucible so that we may pass this veritable English Class that is eternity! We will accept nothing less than full surrender, because Danforth is a wanker who should have been hung himself, because he could not sink his teeth into his Breakfast Burrito, even though he had Salsa del Sol to spare! Ask not what your country can do for you, but "Didn't I give you a Twenty?", because Breakfast Burritos should only be a dollar, and Salsa del Sol should be free… Free like you and I, my friends. As the legendary troubadour Geddy Lee once sang, "You can choose a ready guide in some celestial voice, but if you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice. You can choose from phantom fears, and kindness that can kill. I will choose a path that's clear; I will choose free will." We must learn that Salsa del Sol can only be quelled if every human on earth chooses to do so.