John opened his eyes, noticing that his alarm had been going for the past ten minutes.
"God dammit." He cursed quietly. His hand landed on his radio and turned the alarm off. He slowly pulled his lanky form off of his bed and stood up, stretching his spine and arms. He had light brown hair that fell around his head, covering his hazel eyes. He was among the tallest at his school, and had the clearest face possible. He was the kind of person you'd expect to be getting all the attention from the girls at school, and he would if it wasn't for the fact that he had attempted suicide five times, had more or less no self-esteem, confidence wasn't even a word in his vocabulary and the constant bruises on his body from the ones at school who always hit or kicked him.
John listened for a second, making sure no one was in the area of his rooms door. Once he was sure no one was around he reached under the bed and pulled out a box slowly, making sure the bottles of alcohol didn't clink together. He took a swig from a bottle of straight vodka and put the box back under his bed. John got dressed and then slowly headed towards the kitchen to grab some breakfast before going to school. His sister was already at the table with her friend who had stayed the night, bowls of food in front of them.
"Did you drink the last of the milk?" he asked, walking towards the table and to the fridge. His voice was calm, and sounded like it should have been recognized, but not in his life.
"What does it matter to you, freak?" His sister replied.
"Thought so." He muttered.
"Hey, if you're going to talk to us, at least look at us." His sister's friend said. John held up his left hand, the middle finger upright.
"Fuck you." He replied slowly, looking her in the eyes and then turning back to the fridge. His sister stood up and walked over to him.
"Hey, don't insult my friends." She growled, trying to act tough compared to him. John turned around and towered over her.
"Don't give me a reason to." He growled. "You continue to talk to me and I'll tell mum about the bong hidden under your bed." She stared at him.
"You went into my room?" She screamed.
"No, but I can smell that shit from my room, and I can hear it each time I walk past your room. I'm surprised mum hasn't found out." John explained. His sister went silent.
"That's dirty, John. Playing like that." Her friend stated. He completely ignored the two as he got a couple of pieces of toast. He smeared butter and jam on them before heading back towards his room.
"We were talking to you!" His sister cried, surprised that he hadn't been listening. John was surprised that she hadn't noticed.
"I was ignoring you." He replied. He walked up to his room and sat don on his bed, trying to resist from grabbing something from under his bed.
"It takes the feeling away," He muttered to himself. Once he had finished eating and convinced himself not to get drunk before school, he grabbed his bag, chucked a couple of books in and walked out, heading towards the front door.
"John, where are you going?" He turned around and saw his mother at the end of the hallway, just leaving her room.
"School." He replied grudgingly.
"Wait for your sister." She ordered.
"But…why?" John answered back.
"She's a vulnerable teenage girl. You know what could happen." His mother snapped.
"Mum, I really couldn't give a shit. And if you want to know something, look under her bed. You'll find something surprising about your…vulnerable daughter." John ranted before turning around and leaving the house. He walked towards his school, thinking about what he was going to have to do when he got back home.
"Probably clean the fucking house." He said. He couldn't wait to get to school and forget his home life by talking with his two and only friends, Nicole and Steven. He had liked Nicole since they had first met, and she knew it. The two had talked about going out a couple of days ago, but nothing had currently been planned. Lately however, Steven and Nicole had been acting odd around each other, and especially around John. Once he got to school, he walked towards the science room and behind it, where the other two were waiting for him.
"Hey, how's it going?" Steven asked, before john could say anything.
"Shit. Wanting to die…the usual." He replied quietly.
"Had a fight with Alison?" Nicole asked. He nodded.
"We got that physics test first lesson." Steven said. John noticed that the two were standing slightly closer than usual. He thought nothing of it. There just standing there, he thought. Nicole brushed her black hair out of her face, and playing with it for a couple of seconds. The rest was tied back in a sleek ponytail. Her green eyes were zooming between John, Steven and he corner. Steven ignored his longish blonde hair, his blue eyes piercing through it like it wasn't there. The bell rang a few minute of talking later, and they headed to class. John finished his test half an hour early than anyone else, the only one in the class that really understood what the teacher was saying. The rest of the day passed rather quickly. At lunch, the three headed towards the back of the field.
"You guys want to go to the movies after school?" Steven asked. His family were rich, and he always offered to pay, even when Nicole had threatened his family…as a joke. John never complained, yet he hated not doing anything about it and saying 'no'. It made him feel awkward, that he was taking money off his best friend, and not saying that he would pay for himself. But just thinking of saying 'no' made him feel…strange, out of place almost.
"Sure. What movie?" Nicole asked.
"Something by Michael Bay." Steven suggested.
"What kind?" She asked.
"The usual he does, except this is meant to be an action/romance…however you figure that out." John sat down and listened to the two talk with each other. He suddenly felt distant from the, like he shouldn't be there.
"John, you alright?" Nicole asked, looking at him. He stared back.
"Yeah, why?" He replied.
"You just looked…like you're about to pass out or something." She stated.
"No, I just remembered I've got maths Tutorial after school." He said.
"That's okay, we'll wait back here or behind the science room." Seven said. John nodded, and joined in the conversation about physics, neither of the three but John understood it at all. He was sure the other two had failed the test. The bell rang for final lesson and the three split up. Nicole went to Cooking, Steven went to Woodwork and John went to Computing. John nearly electrified himself pulling the plug out, forgetting to switch it off and having a drink near the plug. Sparks flew out and he felt something shock his arm.
"John, what the hell happened?" The Computer teacher asked, staring at the black plug.
"Sorry, sir. I forgot to turn it off." He said.
"For Christ sake. You can't do anything…can you?" The teacher said, walking off. John stared at him, starting to feel severely miserable again. No. I can't, he thought. He packed his bags up at the end of school and walked towards the maths class.
"Sorry, John. We can only go for half an hour. I've got to take my son to the doctors later on." His maths tutor said. She was an attractive woman, but John only thought of her when he reminded himself that he had maths to do. They studied algebra for the half hour then the two packed up.
"You're getting better at this, John. Keep it up." She said, walking out the door. He nodded and put his books back into his bag. He left the room and thought where the other two would be.
"Field first." He muttered. He walked around the maths room and looked out onto the field. The only person out there was the caretaker, mowing the lawns.
"Science room then." He muttered. He began to walk towards the science room. As he reached the corner, he could hear sounds, a sort of moaning. What the hell, he thought. He walked around the corner and used all of his self-control from either killing someone or passing out from the shock. Nicole was in Stevens's arms, kissing each other fiercely. It was like the two were having a competition to see who could swallow the others mouth. Nicole noticed him out of the corner of her eyes and instantly broke away.
"John." She gasped, her hair all over her face, her skin red. Steven stared at him, shock on his face.
"Look, man. It's not what you think." He said.
"Yeah, sure it fucking is." He said, turning away. The two stared at him only getting a glimpse at his face. But they both saw what was on it. A cross of sheer hatred and severe sadness. John walked home, hoping that the other two weren't following him. His mind was filled with thoughts. Some still trying to process what he had just seen, others thinking what he was going to do now…and so on. John reached his house and walked in, ignoring the screaming argument between his sister and his mother, a glass tube on the table just meters from the two.
"John! Where the hell have you been?" His mother screamed, noticing him walk past.
"Maths tutorial." He replied quietly.
"Don't you walk away!" She screamed as he entered his room. He turned around and locked the door. John stood in the middle of the room, his bag in his hands.
"Son of a bitch!" He yelled, throwing his bag at the window. It shattered, glass spewing everywhere. He turned around and punched the mirror next to his door. It shattered, glass falling to the floor and cutting his hand. He ignored the pain and continued to break everything he could get his hands on. Finally, he was bringing the box from underneath his bed out he threw the empty bottles out the ground, grabbed the full ones and threw them against his wall. At the bottom was a nine-millimetre pistol. It was his fathers, who had died five years ago in a car crash. His mother thought the gun was lost, but John had hidden it under his bed. He picked it up and grabbed the fully loaded clip next to where the pistol had been lying. There was a knocking at the door.
"Who is it?" He yelled.
"It's me." His mother replied. She seemed to have calmed down, yet there was still stress in her voice.
"Steven's here to see you." John stood upright, staring at the door.
"Tell him to fuck off." John yelled.
"John, I'm sorry…" Steven began to apologise through the door, trying to see if it was unlocked. John slammed the clip in and cocked the pistol.
"What was that?" Steven suddenly asked, hearing the metallic clacks.
"My requiem." John replied quietly.
"John, open this door now before I kick it down!" Steven screamed. He didn't answer. The door shook as Steven kicked it. There was a cracking sound. John sat down on his bed, tears falling down his face and onto the blood and alcohol covered floor. He slowly raised the pistol. Don't do it! A voice screamed from within his head.
"Just leave me alone!" John screamed his throat apart. His finger tightened in the trigger. Steven kicked the door open, wood flying across the room. His looked around and his eyes lay on John as the loud bang sounded.
Note: Okay, before posting this, I gave it to ten people to read, and explain what happens in the end. Nine of the ten said John shot himself, but one person, (Who just happens to be known here as Elochai) wasn't sure. "There was no reason why John shouldn't have shot himself, but there was nothing clarifying it. He could have shot Steve instead, he had the motive and all…" – Elochai