June 14, 2006


Woke up this morning freaking out. Another one of those dreams where as much as you'd want to fall back asleep… you're too afraid too. My wonderful spiffy dream that lost me30 minutes of sleep went as thus:

A grave robber and her friends, IN BROAD DAYLIGHT are excavating a cemetery. One grave, holds a buried alive girl with her eyes sewn shut. She was mistaken for a dead person. Miraculously, she was still alive but couldn't figure out why she couldn't open her eyes and was freaking out herself.

The dream was horrible. I'm so afraid of dying and still so unsure of how I want to be buried that the dream made me wish I was immortal. It also made me wonder if I can purchase a tomb for myself and have them just lay my body within the tomb instead of encasing me within a coffin. I shudder at the thought.

I hate death. I hate the very idea of idea. I hate dead bodies also. I can't play any video game zombie related or that has zombies in it. I have to give the corpse within the coffin at a viewing a 4 1/2 foot radius. Seriously, my friend's father died a few years ago and I couldn't go anywhere near where he lay. Just getting close to him in order to hug my friend gave me the creeps and caused me to break out in terrified and mournful tears.

I think I was the only one there really crying hard.

It's absolutely creepy to me.

Call me a coward but… hey, whatever then.

It must be the thought of not knowing what's really beyond the lines after you die.

God give me strength, because the day I die is the day I'll be fighting the Grim Reaper until one of us loses a limb… at least. That scythe has to be real sharp.

That dream caused me to have bad vibes for the rest of the day.

Example: boyfriend not online. I think: OH SHIT SOMETHING HAPPENED!!

Yea, I'm a freak sometimes.