I Can't Comment

Narrator: There are websites for exchange of ideas. Normally a critique is not a bad thing, but there are some extreme cases. Some people lash out when criticized.

Gloria: (sits at computer on her favorite website, EssayTalk reading a posted essay) This is ridiculous! The facts are all wrong and the grammar is pathetic!

Narrator: Gloria sends a rather harsh review to the author of the offending essay. The author threw her laptop out the window, enraged.

Author Jeane: I was not whining! My style is far from pitiful-I'll show her!

(Jeane retrieves her laptop from the daisy patch beneath the window and composes a wicked retort.

Author Jeane: Well, if you don't like it-DON'T READ IT!!!

(Gloria sits down with a cup of Ramen noodles to check her e-mail. She finds there is a big fat letter in her inbox.)

Gloria: Oh my…well, if that's the way she feels.

Narrator: Gloria deletes the message and goes back to EssayTalk. There she reads a paper about the mistreatment of the Southeastern Slug Worm that went entirely off topic. It was no great surprise to see that the author was the Infamous Jeane.

Gloria: No offense intended, but you have an obnoxious habit of littering your essays with quotations and parenthesis. Your presentation of opinions is redundant and whiny. Without a doubt, your writing is immature. Why not come up with a plan to accompany your complaints?

(Jeane reads the review and is better able to respond to the blunt review)

Author Jean: No one else has a problem with it. Why are you still reading my work if it is "immature" and "whiny"? If it bothers you, don't read it. Is that a difficult concept?

Narrator: When Gloria reads the e-mail, she shrugs before going out to walk the dog. Later when Gloria meets with her chemistry school partner they talk about the incident.

Partner: Is it really necessary to flame? You could have been nicer; after all it's easier to catch flies with honey than vinegar.

Gloria: It's just a thought. Besides, who wants to hang around with a bunch of flies?

Partner: That's not the point!

Gloria: (holds up her hands in defense) I guess I just can't comment.

Author's Note: Obviously, I am not an expert at playwriting and would never claim to be. If there is anything you find wrong with the story, please tell me so. Please!