A/N: It's just a series of dialogues I was up at 2 in the morning writing… for what reason, I have no idea, really, other than that I thought the idea was funny. Like always, please let me know whether you think this is worth keeping up here… I really would like to know.
And yeah, I know this kind of behavior doesn't normally go on in reality... I'm just playing around here...
Just to clarify, this story contains some mild male/male 'interaction', like all of my other stories I post in this account… so you've been warned. Don't do drugs, people… it's bad for you. ;)
Chloe is crazy. She's small and auburn-haired and hazel-eyed, and she told me she was in love with me two minutes after we met. That didn't change even after she found out that I swung the other way; in fact, I think it made her even more obsessed with me than she already was, as if it just added to her determination that one day she would marry me and we'd live happily ever after.
Our conversations go something like this:
"Ash, I love you. You have really nice eyes."
"Chloe, I love you too, but only as a friend. Do you understand that?"
"Of course. But I still love you. You're going to marry me, remember?"
"I don't like girls that way, Chloe. I like guys."
"I know that. But so what?"
I guess it's kind of flattering- if annoying, frustrating and tiring- that she's so completely dedicated to a gay teenager who will never really understand her. Sometimes, though, I just wish she'd go and find herself a real boyfriend to keep herself occupied. At least then her endless declarations of love wouldn't go to waste.
She was very civil when she found out about the possibility of my liking another guy that went to our school. Actually, she was delighted to have found something- or, in this case, someone- that caught my interest, even though it obviously meant my 'affections' for her might have to be shared.
"What's his name, Ash?"
"I don't know."
"You don't know? Why don't you ask him?"
"I don't want to."
"No, I do, I just can't, that's all."
"Are you scared of him?"
"Yes, you are."
"No, I'm not."
"I'll ask him for you, Ash."
Sometimes I'm not sure whether to be grateful for such an outgoing friend. Chloe was very tactful about it; she walked straight up to him and said, "Hi, I'm Chloe. My best friend Ash has a crush on you. What's your name?"
I watched from a distance, feeling sort of frozen in place, as he arched one eyebrow at her, obviously wondering if this was some kind of joke. Chloe just stared back with those big, innocent hazel eyes of hers until I heard him answer,
"Why?" His tone was icy.
Chloe was completely oblivious to it. "Because he'd like to know," she explained patiently.
My black-clad crush turned away from her dismissively. "If he wants to know, tell him to ask me himself."
Chloe accepted this without argument, and twisted around to call in my direction, "Ash, he says that you should ask him yourself. It's okay. He's really not that scary."
He stopped to look back at her abruptly, his eyes darting from Chloe to me and back, like he was wondering if she was truly sane.
And me, I wanted to fade into the floor tiles.
Chloe watched me expectantly until I managed to shift and walk away as nonchalantly as possible, as if maybe I actually had nothing to do with the situation at all. I could hear her running down the hallway after me a moment later, and then her voice saying, "Hey, Ash, wait."
"No. I have to get to class."
"But I thought-"
"I said no."
She frowned at me then, but it wasn't in her personality to tell me she was pissed and then desert me. She just stopped talking and walked moodily next to me to the next class, which the two of us shared. She didn't even whisper to me during class or draw little pictures or phrases on my hands and arms like she normally did… at least, not before the latter half of the period.
But of course she didn't give up, and I wasn't expecting her to. That would be too un-Chloe-like.
She managed to flag him down during lunch period the next day. I didn't even see him until I caught her signaling at him, and then I hissed at her, "Chloe, stop it. What are you doing?"
It was pointless trying to stop her by then- it was too late.
"Hi," she told him cheerfully once he'd reluctantly walked over to our table, his hands shoved deep in his pockets. "I'm Chloe. Remember me?"
He answered her question with a cold, blank look.
I was wondering whether he'd notice too much if I snuck away just then.
"This is Ash," Chloe went on, unperturbed, and pointing at me from the other side of the table. "He's my best friend."
"Yeah," he said. His voice was low and quiet and chilly, like maybe he secretly wanted to step on her face- or maybe I wasn't quite in my right mind then. His eyes slid over to me. "I think you mentioned him."
"He likes you a lot," Chloe contributed. "Only he's kind of scared of you, and that's why he wouldn't talk to you yesterday. "
His brow furrowed a bit as she spoke, hinting that he was finding this whole situation highly amusing. "I see."
"She's lying," I choked out. "Don't listen to her, she's just trying to make trouble."
"No, I'm not," Chloe said defensively, looking hurt.
The boy didn't say anything. He just watched the two of us and blinked slowly.
"Chloe," I said between clenched teeth, trying to convey to her that she was embarrassing me beyond all reason, but predictably, she didn't catch onto it.
"Why do you wear black all the time?" she asked him instead.
"Because I want to."
"It looks good on you. I like it. And I like your eyeliner. I tried to get Ash to wear some once, because I think he has really pretty eyes, but he wouldn't let me. We're going to get married one day, you know."
"Yeah. He says he only likes guys that way, but I think he can be gay and like just one girl at the same time, as long as the one girl is me, you see?"
No answer this time.
"Are you gay? Because Ash will be really sad if you're not."
"Chloe, for the love of God, shut up. You don't know what you're talking about." This one came from me, as I tried make the burning feeling in my cheeks leave.
Chloe was choosing to ignore me. "You still haven't told Ash what your name is, you know."
He smirked and looked back in my direction. I wished to die. "I'll tell him when he asks me."
"But he's not going to ask you. He's still scared of you."
"I'm not scared of him!" I barked at Chloe.
"Then why won't you ever talk to him?" Chloe returned. "He's standing right there."
I stood up abruptly, my chair scraping across the floor, and walked away.
"Stop, Ash, come back. Please, Ash…"
I could have forgiven her for that. Maybe, if she had asked nicely and bribed me with money. But she didn't, and not only that, the same thing happened the next day, only not in the lunch room.
Chloe pointed him out in the hallway on our way to class.
"Look, Ash, it's that boy you like. Hey, wait, come over here."
He looked up at her first, then over to me standing next to her. The same subtle smirk from yesterday crossed his lips.
"What do you want?"
"I like your armbands. A lot. And I was wondering if you'd talk to Ash."
"Why? Did he say he wanted to talk to me?"
"No, but I know he does, because he thinks you're really hot. He told me. I love you, Ash."
I could've strangled her there in the hallway, I really could have, but I was having some difficulty breathing at the moment. My face felt like it was on fire.
"Really, now?" he said, raising an eyebrow at me.
"She's lying to you," I tried to say, but Chloe interjected before I could fully defend myself,
"Maybe if you'd please just tell him your name, he wouldn't be scared of you anymore."
"Chloe, I am not scared of him. Okay? If you say that again, I'm going to kill you."
"I'm not going to tell him my name," the boy told Chloe, but he was looking at me as he said it. "Not until he asks me. If you want to talk to me, you should just do it, and not get her to say everything for you." He said this last part directly to me.
"I'm not," I said forcefully. "I swear I'm not. She's just trying to torture me."
He just laughed shortly and shook his head. Dear lord, he found this funny.
Chloe was over at my house that same night.
"Ash, are you mad at me?"
"Please don't be mad. I'm in love with you."
"Do you forgive me?"
"But I was just trying to help."
"Well, stop trying to help."
"But if I don't help, then you'll never get him to be your boyfriend, and then you'll be sad because you like him and you think he's gorgeous."
"Chloe, when did I say ever anything about getting him to be my b-"
"And if you're sad, then I'm sad."
"You really need to stop interfering. Because you're just making things worse. And no, I still don't forgive you. Get off of me."
But she didn't stop interfering. Two days later, she timed her plan down to the last bell and found a way to shove the two of us- me and him- into a janitor's closet an hour after school let out.
I'm still not sure how she managed to do that. She won't tell me.
"You're sitting on me."
"I can't help it, there's no room."
"Well, I can't move, there's something behind me and I can't see. Open the fucking door already."
My hand felt along the door until it reached the coldness of the doorknob.
"She locked us in here?"
"Your little girlfriend is fucking crazy, you know that? If you don't stop trying to grope me and get the hell out of my lap, I'm going to die from claustrophobia."
"I'm not trying to grope you! Do you really think I-"
"Wait." There was a slight rattling noise as a chain was grasped. "I think I found the light."
A click later, the light of a dim bulb overhead found me fumbling to rearrange my awkward position. No wonder he thought I was trying to feel him up. My cheeks were flame-red.
His entire outfit was black, including the armbands that Chloe had liked so much and the belts running between the legs of his baggy pants. His blue eyes were lined thickly with black. And his hair (black, of course) was arranged in a feral mess of almost-spikes.
"You like looking at me, don't you."
"Fuck, I'm going to kill Chloe when I get out of here. Where'd she go?"
"How am I supposed to know? I'm locked in here too. You know she's just trying to hook the two of us up."
"Yeah, I know."
I ceased my banging on the door for a minute, and the space was filled with an uncomfortable silence. The other boy was leaning up against one of the walls of the tiny room, his arms folded, to watch me with a sort of cynical amusement, as if he already knew that Chloe planned on taking her time on getting us out of there.
"What?" I snapped. "This isn't my fault."
"Yeah, it is."
"No, it's not."
"Yeah, it is."
"How is this my fault?"
He half-smiled and shrugged. "I guess your little friend couldn't think of any other way to get you to talk to me."
"Well, this is none of her business in the first place. Chloe needs to learn when to leave me the hell alone, and not fucking lock me in closets with random guys."
I watched as he slowly raised an eyebrow at me. "According to her, I'm not some random guy."
That's right- you're sexy and you're beautiful and you're just way too close, and right now I really hate Chloe for meddling.
"I guess not."
That made him smile again.
"So she's not really lying about all that shit she tells me?"
"You know she's not."
"Then why won't you just tell me yourself?"
"Because." This room was too small for any kind of comfort. I was making sure to stay on the opposite side of the room from him, and still I was only about three feet away. "I just don't want to."
"Oh, so you really are scared of me?" His eyes were laughing at me. Screw him. "I wasn't sure whether to believe that."
"So ask me what my name is."
"I don't feel like it."
"That's a lame answer."
I tried the door again, hoping that Chloe might have discreetly decided to unlock it while we were waiting. She hadn't.
The other boy was still looking at me with that all-knowing smirk. I didn't have any choice.
"Fine. What's your name?"
"It's Joseph. That wasn't so hard, now was it."
He was still laughing at me without actually doing so, but he extended his hand as he spoke, and I stared at it.
"You're supposed to shake it, Ash."
Slowly I reached out and grasped the hand and shook it a couple of times, and then I forgot to let go.
"Is that really your name?" he asked.
"No. It's Ashleigh. But I tell people to call me Ash. At least it's a guy's name."
"There are other guys with the name Ashleigh. There's nothing wrong with it."
"I guess not."
He laughed a little then, and I pulled my hand away from his with my face burning with embarrassment.
Joseph shrugged, still smiling. "Whatever."
Chloe didn't come back in the next ten minutes, or the ten minutes after that. I was beginning to seriously wonder whether she intended to leave us locked in the janitor's closet all night. If she did, I'd not only kick her ass when I got out, I'd never speak to her again.
"She's got to let us out sometime," I mumbled as I slid down the wall to sit slouched on the floor. "What's she waiting for?"
"She's a girl," Joseph scoffed, dragging a hand through his unruly mass of thick black hair. "She's waiting for something steamy to start happening so she can have something to giggle at."
Knowing Chloe, I didn't doubt the accuracy of this.
"You're probably right."
Joseph played with the edge of his trenchcoat, his knees drawn up to his chest and his blue eyes half-lidded with boredom.
"So what are we going to do?" I asked.
He glanced up at me. "What do you want to do?"
"I don't know."
"Well, maybe we should think of something." He stood up slowly, stretching a little. "It's getting late. My parents won't care when I get home, but yours might."
"Yeah, they probably will. What do you think we should do?"
He cast me a strange look. "Well… we could… give her what she wants, or something."
"Well, if she's waiting for something hot to start happening in here… assuming that that's what she's waiting for, and assuming she's even still out there at all…" His gaze turned evil. "I say we give her a show. Like, pretend that we're getting it on or something."
"Why not? I think it'll work."
"It's just because you're scared."
"I'm not scared of you. Chloe was talking bullshit about that."
"So do this. Just go along with it."
"No. I don't want to. Get away."
"Because I don't even know you, that's why. I mean, not in a way that counts."
He obviously thought that was funny, because the next thing I knew, he was laughing at me again.
"All right," I hissed, wanting him to shut up. "I'll go along with it. I just want to get out of here."
"Great," Joseph said, looking pleased that he was getting his own way.
Before I fully realized exactly what he had in mind, he had leaned forward and smashed his lips against mine, and grabbed me by the shoulders to pull me closer to him. For the first couple of seconds I was in shock, and then I must have blanked out because after that I was kissing him back, hard; and then I was desperately trying to escape.
I think I kind of fell backward at that point, and we ended up in a tangle of arms and legs, and his hair in my face, on the closet floor.
"What was that for?" I choked out, trying to resituate myself and doing a poor job of it, considering the way his face and breath were pressed into my neck.
"Mmph." Joseph found a way to sit up, still halfway-sitting on me but not really seeming to care.
"I thought you said we were just going to pretend."
"Yeah, well, I lied."
"I wanted to see how you'd react."
"What kind of reason is that?" I pushed my hair out of my eyes. "You slut."
"What? You can't tell me you didn't enjoy that."
"No, I didn't. Don't attack me like that again."
"Whatever. You're a liar. And you're blushing really hard right now, did you know that?"
That's how Chloe found us. On the floor, with about two inches of space between us, my face beet-red and his hair in an even wilder mess.
"I am so sorry, I really didn't mean to leave you locked up for so long but I accidentally forgot where I put the- What were you guys doing just now?"
"Nothing." I stood up quickly and dusted myself off. "Chloe, you're a bitch."
"It was an accident," Chloe insisted, blinking her big hazel eyes. "I am so, so sorry. I only meant to leave you in there for a few minutes but I forgot where I put the key, and then I kind of freaked out, but… So what happened? Did you talk to him? Did you ask what his name was?"
"Did you not hear me? Why should I ever speak to you again?"
"Because… because I'm in love with you."
"That's not going to cut it."
"And because I'm only trying to help. I have good intentions and that should count for something."
"Well, it doesn't."
"What's his name?" Chloe persisted.
I sighed. "It's Joseph."
The strangest things will delight Chloe at the strangest times. She squealed like a six-year-old when she heard his name. And then she jumped on him.
"I love you, Joseph."
I couldn't understand what he was trying to say because his voice was muffled into her shoulder, but from the sound of his tone, it wasn't G-rated. Chloe didn't hear it, though; or else she chose to ignore it.
"Would you like to be my best friend too?" she asked him sweetly.
Joseph shot me a look, still struggling to remove her arms from around his neck, obviously asking me if she was actually serious. I smirked in reply.