"At Chris's house?" Nolan asked.
"No, but I think Candan went to say goodbye....for good. We can ask Chris where he went and see if we can catch him before it's too late!"
"Why don't we just call the police?"
"Yeah right! You think they could figure out where he went and get there in time to save him. We'll call as soon as we find him."
We pulled into Chris's driveway and I jumped out of the car.
"Act normal," I say before ringing the doorbell.
Chris's mom answers the door. "Hi Hazel. Nolan. It's been a while since I've seen you two!"
"Yes, it has been hasn't it," I say. "May we please speak to Chris? We need to say goodbye privately before you leave tomorrow."
"Oh, that would be great. Your brother just stopped by a minute ago. I'll go get Chris."
It feels like an eternity before Chris comes. "Hey guys," he says hugging each of us. "Nice to see you."
"You too," Nolan and I say at almost the exact moment.
"Did Candan stop by?" I ask.
"Yeah, he just left a minute ago."
"Did he bring you any pie?"
"No," he says looking confused. "Why would he bring me pie? I don't even like pie."
"Well I guess that would be why he didn't take you any. He just thought he should bring you a little something."
"Oh," he said. "Actually, he didn't even come in the door. He said he didn't think he'd see me again before I left tomorrow. Then he pretty much said bye and left."
"Did he say anything else, like where he was going by chance?"
"Well, now that you mention it he did say that he had to go do something, but not where he was going, why?"
"Mom doesn't want him out too late. He hasn't been feeling well."
"By the way he looked, I could tell. Definately didn't look like himself all jittery and such. He had that look he gets when he's about to do something crazy."
"Did you see which way he went?"
"Yeah, I watched him pull out of the driveway to make sure he was ok. He went onto Lansing Drive. That's all I saw. Are you sure he's alright?"
"Yeah, probably. We better get going. Night! We'll try to stop by again tomorrow morning for when you leave!" I yell dragging Nolan back to the car. We jump in and soom out the drive onto Lansing Drive.
"Where does this road lead to?" Nolan asks.
"Um, this road leads to town and town leads to anywhere."
"That really doesn't help. Can you think of anywhere he could be?"
I think of everything, but nothing seems to jump out at me. I think back to our house. Then, I know. My eyes get big and fill with tears.
"What? What is it?" Nolan asks.
"His favorite place in the world."
"The lake house."
I am half-way to the lake house. Why am I doing this? Why can't I stop? JUST STOP! I'm not going to change anything! But, even though I think all these things over, it's like someone else is controlling my body. I can't stop. I just keep going. Sometimes I remember why I'm doing this, but then I'll lose the anger and emotions and wonder how I could do such a thing?
I am pulling in at the lake house. I'm scared, but my emotions are pushing me in. I unlock the door and walk inside. I lock the door and deadbolt it behind me. This is now my resting place, the place I've come to for happiness all my life. This place will now hold all the sadness and anger I have felt. All the teasing, the pain, the fighting. It will all stay here forever.
I sit on the couch in the darkness and unwrap the knife I brought along. I can see it shine in the moonlight that is seeping in through the window. I am so scared. I can't do it. This is not my time to go, not a good enough reason.
Something overcomes that feeling. I think of every little bad thing that has ever happened, all the pain in my life. I keep torturing myself until the pain is making me physically ache. I lay down and shakily hold the knife over my chest. Just one blow. All the pain will be over. I will never have to do this again.
I take one last breath and jam the knife down through my chest. I take in a sharp intake of breath. Statistics show that immediately after "attempting" suicide, the person desperately wants to live...not die. That is exactly how I felt, but there wasn't anything I could change now. I am trying desperately to hang onto life, but I know I won't make it.
We are about 10 minutes from the lake house. We are going at least 100 down shabby roads through the woods. This is our only chance. Actually, our chance may already be gone. We are determined to get there before Candan make sthe biggest mistake of his life.
At last, we see the lake. Before Nolan even stops the car I am out and running to the door. Nolan puts the brake on and runs behind me.
"CANDAN!" I scream on the verge of bawling.
"CANDAN!" Nolan screams behind me.
We pull the door, but it won't budge an inch.
"Nolan we have to get in there before it's too late!"
Nolan takes a huge branch and smashes it through the window. I take no time to go through right after it. I get a few cuts, but don't care because I am so focused on getting in to see what has happened to my brother.
I flip the lights on, and what I see is so painful, it brings me to my knees crying. Candan lay on the floor, knife in his chest, blood spattered everywhere and oozing out of the gash he's created in his chest.
"We're too late," I whisper. "3 minutes too late."