If only my toes were a little bit longer

The hair on my legs a little bit shorter.

If only my skin were a little bit whiter

If only my thighs were a little bit tighter


If only nose were a little bit smaller

If only my eyes were a little bit wider

If my waist and my brows were a half inch finer

Then maybe I'd be a bit less of a whiner


I've tried lotions and creams and mudpacs daily

Usual cosmetics, but my mirror is failing.

Low fat, low carb, mikshakes and calpol

If the scales don't move, I'm using the scalpel.


Detox diets; avoiding confection

15-a-day fruits for a perfect complexion.

Lasers and botox, all money can reach

And if nothing works, I'm bathing in bleach.