If only my toes were a little bit longer

The hair on my legs a little bit shorter.

If only my skin were a little bit whiter

If only my thighs were a little bit tighter

x

If only nose were a little bit smaller

If only my eyes were a little bit wider

If my waist and my brows were a half inch finer

Then maybe I'd be a bit less of a whiner

x

I've tried lotions and creams and mudpacs daily

Usual cosmetics, but my mirror is failing.

Low fat, low carb, mikshakes and calpol

If the scales don't move, I'm using the scalpel.

x

Detox diets; avoiding confection

15-a-day fruits for a perfect complexion.

Lasers and botox, all money can reach

And if nothing works, I'm bathing in bleach.

x