hips and hearts
julie e. miller
A few weeks passed and thanks to my sister, I started to grow out of my funk. She wouldn't let me nap after work or stay home in the evenings. Instead, I would go to the movies with her and Craig or go to parties with Madison and John.
It was good to get my mind off of things…but I couldn't deny the truth.
I missed Jacob like crazy.
But I followed his wishes. I avoided the ballpark. I didn't call him. I wouldn't hang out with Christopher and Trinity at the Monroe household.
And it was killing me.
Eva forced me to go to a party one night, insisting it would be good for me to see some of our other friends and I complied. Craig was going out of town with Christopher to see a friend, so it was just the two of us. I insisted that I go in sweats, but Eva forced me into a jean skirt and a nice halter-top…she also insisted that she do my hair. When we got to the party, I tried my hardest to have a good time…but after only twenty minutes, I found myself on the front porch alone. I refused to drink out of pity for myself, opting instead to face my heartache with a sober mind.
I must have sat out there an hour before my sister took a seat next to me. "There you are!" she exclaimed. "I have been trying like crazy to find you!"
I shrugged. "Not in the party mood."
"You haven't been in the party mood for weeks."
And then the tears began falling.
"Why doesn't he want to see me?" I sobbed. "Why does he think I'm just using him? Why can't he see I'm just as hurt as he is?!" Eva rubbed my back as the sobs continued rolling out of me.
"You're both so stubborn," she said softly. I ignored the comment.
…And continued to rave.
"I didn't know he was a virgin! I didn't know that I meant that much to him! I mean, I knew I meant a lot to him…but I didn't know I meant THAT much!" I stood up and began waving my arms around like crazy. "I didn't know he loved me, loved me."
"Emma," Eva began, but I shook my head.
"No! I didn't mean to look so terrified when he admitted it to me in the car…and I didn't mean for him to get the impression that he meant nothing to me."
"Emma," Eva tried again, but I simply ignored her.
"I love him, Eva. I love him so much!"
In my haze, I realized that Eva's gaze had turned to something behind me and I felt my stomach sink. "He heard me, didn't he?" I asked, having a sense of déjà vu much like that a few weeks before when Eva had been so mad at Craig. Eva simply gave me a small smile and nodded. "He's right behind me, isn't he?" She nodded again. "Fuck." Turning around slowly, I saw that Jacob was about ten feet in front of me, holding his car keys, as if he'd frozen the second he'd heard my admission. Turning back to Eva, I realized that she'd disappeared inside and silently cursed her. She'd left me alone with him to deal with this alone.
Jacob didn't say a word, he just held out his hand.
And before I could weigh the options, I stepped forward and took it.
Soon, we were in his car going towards his house…and once we got there we stood in his backyard.
Not a word had been spoken between us…
Instead, I was trying to read the messages hidden in his eyes. Picking up a baseball that was sitting in the dewy grass. "It's about time you learned how to throw a baseball."
Stepping up behind me, he wrapped his arms around me and placed the ball in my hand. Gripping the laces of the ball, he lined me up and moved my arm, starting the momentum of the throw.
Before I could comprehend it, the ball was flying out of my hand and over Jacob's back fence.
"I knew you could do it," he whispered in my ear. I shivered at the contact and wrapped him tighter around me.
Turning around, but refusing to break contact, I held his face in my hands. "I meant it," I whispered. "I meant every word of it."
"Every word of what?" he teased, a small grin on his face.
"I love you, Jacob Monroe. I love you."
"And what do you plan on doing about that, Em?" he asked, his face lowering towards mine so our foreheads were pushed together.
And pulling his face fully to mine, I kissed him trying to get out every thread of emotion I felt for this boy. When he pulled away, he had a huge grin on his face. "That's all I needed to hear," he said softly. "Because I know you wouldn't lie about it."
"I may not have been ready to say it a few weeks ago, but I am now," I whispered, taking his hand and leading him towards his house.
"Where are we going?" he called out behind me.
"I hear your parents went out to dinner and your brother is out of town."
"So?" he asked, and then stopped me. "You don't have to do this to prove anything to me, Emma," he whispered. "I'm not going to pressure you in to having sex with me to prove that you love me. I know you do."
But I shook my head and pulled him forward again.
This time it was different. It was shy, but powerful. It was emotional, but it was amazing…
And I didn't cry once throughout the entire thing.
After my body had calmed down, I gave Jacob a lazy grin. "Are you okay?" he asked, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear.
"I'm perfect," I said, my head resting upon his chest.
"Truth or dare?" he whispered, lacing his fingers through my hair.
"I love you."
The words still managed to make my heart race, but I was absolutely thrilled to hear them. "That's not a truth," I said, tracing a heart on his chest.
"But it is."
"Well, in that case, I love you too."
His breathing started to slow as he began to fall into his slumber. "This was worth waiting for…" he said softly. "Totally worth it." His fingers caught on the rose quartz hanging around my neck.
My breathing began to match his…and just as I was about to surrender to sleep, I felt his lips at my ear and I could hear his smile.
"Told you I'd make you fall in love with me."
June 22, 2006
author's note : Let's just say, I got impatient and posted the rest of the story. To those of you who felt it was rushed, I agree somewhat. The point of this story was not to be novel length. It was to be a shorter chaptered story. I didn't feel like drawing everything out. I figured that you all have imagination, so time gaps and skips could be allotted. As for the few subplots in this story – I AM going to write shorts which I will attach to the end of this whenever they are written and up to my par.
Till then, thank you all so much for reading this. I heart you all. You're amazing.