Lock Your Heart Up

You ever feel like you wanna lock your heart up
And demolish the key?
You ever wonder why anyone tries
When you know life means nothing?

Do you ever feel as if they're lying to you
And they all know your time is near
But to speak the truth would be to desecrate your youth
And the way the world to you should appear?

I can't do this anymore
This feeling of hopelessness is more than just trite
I feel violated just by knowing
That this is everything at everything's 'all right'

Staring at my blood, I'm disgusted by myself
And the level I've lowered myself down to
I'm a 'misunderstood' teen, just like everyone else
And we all 'go through' what we go through

I can aspire to better the world
Until I'm blue in the face and they wish I'd go away
But I've no way of knowing if a bunch
of mistakes will be the only things to accompany me to my grave

I'd give anything to know if this shit
Means anything in the long run, or if I'm just taking up space
I didn't see the punch, but I felt the hit
And I'm about to lose the game I wasn't even taught how to play

No one's as perfect as they'd like everyone to think
I know about her affair, he hurt me, she's a whore, he fucked with authority
All stashed away on my boat and I'm about to sink
Secrets confided in me that shatter what others see as reality

I just can't do this anymore
I wish I could leave, but I've no one else and no home
I've a disease for which there's no cure
Because everyone around me's only pretending and I'm all alone