She has everything she wants, but why is she not happy?
When does logic start to dictate that she should?
She has done what others have asked of her, too appease them.
She thought it would destroy everything yet it did not.
Everything was exactly the same, almost better.
But once again the guilt trips are coming, even though she is not completely lying, they still come.
No matter how much she rationalizes it still feels wrong.
Everything is wrong at this point.
It won't make a difference as to what she does,
Either way it fucks someone over.
He is too good for her, he tells her he loves her, makes her feel special, yet she still has thoughts that this isn't right.
That maybe she should try breaking up with him for real, but that would also cause conflict and pain amongst many.
Especially to him, o god there is now way she could possibly do that to him.
He means to much to her, she would never want to consciously cause him pain.
It would tear her apart to do so.
He is so wonderful, all the obstacles that are thrown in the path of there love, he helps her work through because most of them are her fault or caused by her.
He tolerates it all, all the bullshit, all the drama, and is there in the end for her always.
How would breaking his heart and his trust repay him?
It wouldn't, it could possibly destroy him, and knowing that she caused that, would be unbearable to live with.
So the question is what to do?
Does she leave things as they are?
Does she break up with him?
Does she talk to him about how she is feeling?
But that last option, though it sounds the most practical, could also be the most dangerous.
It could possibly go many ways.
Let us look at a few of the scenarios that could be thrown her way shall we?
One, he could be upset that she feels this way, even after all the things he has done to try and make this work for her. He could then proceed to break up with her and want nothing more to do with her.
Two, he could just listen to what she has to say, talk the options through with her, and they come to a decision.
Three, he could not listen at all and just end it.
Four he breaks up with her but they stay friends, just friends, with him being able to move on and her not doing anything because she couldn't anyway.
Some of these don't sound bad.
Some of them do.
She can come up with so many worse scenarios,
That she tries not to even let herself think about because they are so ridiculous.
He is to good to even do the few she does think about, there is no reason for her to be so stressed out.
But she can't keep going on like this.
She doesn't know what to so anymore,
Her friends do not have the advice either.
So she must somehow work through this.
Or do something irreversible.