When I had her, I didn't need anyone else. After I lost her, I didn't know how to get anyone else.
Vaguely, I recall those days.
They are distant, like a half-remembered dream.
My memory is faulty, I know that.
I can hear our conversations, an echo;
I can see us, walking along the back fence of the playground,
Speaking seriously of family and secrets.
I can remember our games, our laughter;
I can remember how close we were.
I can remember so much—
And even more is hazy, like it never happened—
Or like it happened to someone else.
I can't remember when it all fell apart.
You grew faster than I, I know that.
And by the time I caught up—
Too late. You'd grown past me.
You grew first and I didn't grow fast enough.
Ten years gone in a blink.
Walls around my heart now,
Walls no one can breach.
I miss you. I miss you so much.
And it all feels like a dream.
I wonder when I'll wake up.