When I had her, I didn't need anyone else. After I lost her, I didn't know how to get anyone else.


Vaguely, I recall those days.

They are distant, like a half-remembered dream.

My memory is faulty, I know that.

I can hear our conversations, an echo;

I can see us, walking along the back fence of the playground,

Speaking seriously of family and secrets.

I can remember our games, our laughter;

I can remember how close we were.

I can remember so much—

And even more is hazy, like it never happened—

Or like it happened to someone else.


I can't remember when it all fell apart.

You grew faster than I, I know that.

And by the time I caught up—

Too late. You'd grown past me.

You grew first and I didn't grow fast enough.


Ten years gone in a blink.

Walls around my heart now,

Walls no one can breach.


I miss you. I miss you so much.

And it all feels like a dream.


I wonder when I'll wake up.