A/N: This a "story poem." If you come away from this feeling like I hate god/religion, you missed it. I just hope SOMEBODY gets me.


I don't know when my faith in faith faded,
Maybe it just twisted into something else.
I just know it's hard when life seems like a curse, or some punishment
Or something I have no control over.
Now that's something worth living for.

Putting faith in religion is hard enough without having the struggle exacerbated by hearing people's opinions.
Even if it is from my so called friends.
The question: So do you go to church?
Makes me CRINGE,
I answer with a smug no and the drama begins.

There they go again.
With panicked whispers they rally to gather their faith and the converting begins.
And I just smile, acting like I'm taking it all in.

But not at all

I just would space out, looking into their eyes,
Laughing at them imagining how their faces would contort when their "spirits" left their bodies to meet their makers
And how they'd sadly fall into the abyss when they realize there's nothing for them.
And yet, in the end it made me into exactly what they thought I was.
Evil, faithless and heartless...and that's not me

That's not what I think.
Not believing is a lie I tell people to believe
Some vengeful tact on my part,
from feeling like no one had the decency to hear me
and not regard me as worthless if I believed otherwise.

I have my own set of beliefs that make me, me
If I refuse to believe I'm demented,
Refusing me because I don't believe is demented,
I just don't believe the way you believe.

My personal relationship with god is my business...
I don't have to go to anyone's church to validate it.
Public warship isn't my thing,
Just because you don't see it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
I don't need to appease you.

Don't ever call me a Christian, I'm not a Jew, not Buddhist or Hindu...
I hold on fully to no written rules.
Instead I take from all and stick to nothing,
I'd rather believe in God through myself, than through everyone else and be living a lie.