Prologue:

Itch and burn they had said, but this wasn't any itch that I've ever had in the past and the burn was an agonizing twist of my gut as my entire body heaved forward. I toppled to the floor, a groan parting my lips.

"Mama!" I cried out feeling my bones jerk and twist, my body curling into a writhing ball of agony. My voice cracked with the edges of a growl, Mama! The sound was alien to my ears, a high itched something that turned my insides to ice.

And there she was, a soothing presence that parted the veils of panic that had draped over my eyes, coloring my world with despair. She was as nude as mother night, skin caressed by moonlight,and her face was unfamiliar to me, some twitch of a muscle taking that kindly motherhood and warping it into a feral smile, baring her teeth – white against the golden-bronzed skin that I had inherited. Her black hair was swirled around her body as if framing perfection made flesh. As the moonlight shifted from a sudden parting of clouds i I swore in that momentarylight there was a white wolf coiled around her shapely legs, fangs bared in a snarl.The beast disappeared when my eyes screwed shut as agony swallowed me, my voice cracking, tears streaming down my cheeks as I blinked blearily at her.

Mama?

That queer sound erupted from my mouth again.

Just as suddenly her eyes changed, becoming what hadamounted to safety my entire life. She was looking down at me with worry etched in her face. "Why do you fight?" she whispered, her voicewoven withpain on my behalf.

Fight what? I wanted to ask. There was a beast trying to crawl out of my flesh, subjugating me to a torture as my muscles tore asunder. I fought nothing, only submitted like a coward.

And she was there, kneeling beside me, her golden bronzed skin kissed by moonlight, her fingers running through my hair, giving as much comfort as she was able. "My dear boy." She murmured in quiet pain. "Can you not see him?"

Oh, I could see him. Like the great leviathan hidden in the shadows, mocking me, provoking me into action, I could see him. I swore it must have been Fenris standing there with his smoldering anger suffocating me. He was a disease and I could feel him with every nerve on my body, as the breath on the back of my neck as he invaded, and won conquest after conquest, each victory an ounce of my flesh. His rage infiltrated my pores, suffocating me, depriving me of life as he invaded. "What does he look like?" my mother asked in a hushed voice, breaking my train of thought.

Her delicate hand reached out uncannily to where the spiritual beast lurked in the dark vestiges of the shed. She had always been gifted, my mother.

There was a fire in me, an engulfing heat beckoning me to dance in his soul. The pain intensified leaving me breathless, a groaning whine escaping. The eerie sound raised the small hairs on the nape of my neck as I stared at the beast.

My mother's hands brought me back and into a hell of a different nature, her soft skin skimming over my chest and down, down, down. I was naked and her smooth hands awoke every nerve I had that hadn't yet been touched by the wolf's wrath.

The world flexed around me, and to my everlasting embarrassment I had the hard on of a life time, fully aroused and ready for action. She was whispering in my ear, but I was only aware of her ripe lips near my body, and of the way she kept getting closer. I tried but could not make out the words, my body tricked into lust while my mind kept trying to catch up and rein it in.

The room smelled like meat, and the world shifted once again into focus, warping that sweetly metallic aroma into the center of my attention. Blood. I could almost taste it, like a wisp of a dream long gone.

She kept touching me, grounding me to earth, confusing me. Her breasts pressing against my back was a highlight I remember from that night even though I knew it was wrong. I whimpered, Mama?

And her answering growl made me shudder back against her. I was nearly curled on my stomach with her bending over me, the dip of hips coming to cup my ass. Sweet boy, she growled in my ear. She was trying to entice me to her but the beast watched me with his hackles raised stiffly, his dark grey fur making him nigh on invisible.

And yet I knew he was there, stalking, watching. I had felt him here for a week. What? I croaked reaching for the beast feeling a thought brushing against my mind and retreating. What? I wanted to melt against the touch of the woman behind me but I was equally repulsed by her mere presence as she slid up to cup me.

Come.

My eyes which wandered over my shoulder to eye the woman holding me to her so closely, jerked back to the beast. I looked back toward the shadows where his chartreuse eyes flashed, his low growl creeping through the permeated air. It smelled like blood. His hulking mass lurked beyond my presence of mind enticing me into the unknown but I was rooted. She held me possessively, her eyes feral and brutal, no longer kindly. They narrowed looking at the beast in the corner.

My breathing hitched, speeding up in alarm, chest rising and falling as her smooth naked curves and sweet softness of her thighs slid against my body. NO! I looked about disoriented. I would not fuck her, my own mother, I told myself fervently, but I knew if she did not move, I would.

Her golden bronzed skin slid further against mind, holding me. "MINE!" She growled, eyes narrowing.

Almost as if from a dream, the white wolf manifested about her, forepaws standing possessively on my mother's shoulder blades, white hind legs perched daintily on her backside. The wolf's tail curled about my mother like a wisp, possessive and protective.

The white wolf was barely visible to me, a white shining in the shape of a wolf, her blue eyes feral, hackles raised alarmingly, and her lips pulled back baring bleached white fangs. A snarl that chilled me to the bone erupted from her vicious maw. My mother stared at the lurking beast with the same avidly hateful expression on her face, pulling me to her stomach still kneeling over me, hips cupped around my backside.

The lust was back as I pictured this, felt it, felt her about me.

I knew before my mother did when the beast pounced, his movement's pulling taut the metaphysical string he had been reeling around me. The white wolf feinted left and took a chunk of his right flank with her maw. I gasped, hand going to my side, feeling blood leak through my fingers. Gasping in agony my heart tripped and my eyesight blurred.

The dark wolf's eyes smoldered and when he advanced, he didn't hesitate but lunged forward, he kept pushing his maw into her face, grabbing fur and ignoring the semi-lethal nips the white wolf kept bestowing upon him.

My mother was trembling, cradling me to her and I knew things would never be the same. If only I had known the true extent of that statement.

The wolf's tangible anger shook me to my roots. My mother was clawing at me, taking my face in her hands and searching my face almost desperately for something she recognized. If only I knew what it what she searched for.

There was a strange expression in her eyes, a growing distance as she leaned forward and kissed my lips. For a moment she ceased to be my mother but was simply a woman; holding me, arousing me, and I pushed her, kissing her, eyes closed, bodies fitting together like perfect pieces of a puzzle. Her skin was baby soft and I marveled at it.

But a strangled yelp tore me from my fantasy, as well as the sudden stiffening of her limbs beneath my body. My eyes shot open and when I twisted I could only stare in horror.

The white wolf hung limp in the beast's maw, blood dripping to the floor with sickening rapidity. I looked down.

She was dead. My world, crumbling about me. My mother's neck was bent at an irregular angle, black hair fanning out leaving her body bare but framing her perfection. The allure of her body however, was muted by death, by the death of body, soul and wolf.

Stumbling back, chest heaving I looked around wildly, fearing that out of the shadows would come the lumbering beast to take out a bit of my own flesh. The fear tasted metallic on my tongue, made it hard to breathe, to swallow. Everything narrowed down into utmost detail. I needed to go.

Come.

My heart stopped for a moment, my head jerked in the opposite direction as I began the arduous task of standing.

Come.

The dark allure was omnipotent without the alluring attraction to stabilize me, and my soul could not refuse such a bounty as was offered. While my mind screamed at me, my body and soul relinquished itself. I didn't even have to acknowledge it, but only one thought brought down the darkness.

Everything afterwards was a memory hidden deep inside, something I had forgotten as soon as I woke, only to be remembered by a trigger. Some things such as the scent of blood, the taste of blood; the air that pushed into my nostrils as I ran; the ground thudding under my feet; the sounds of the night coming to life; the hoot of an owl not far off; the mild growl of a fox hidden in the brush; the crunch of a bone between my jaws; the smell of mud, and rolling the intoxicating scent of earth onto my flesh; the heat of my anger, this palpable thing that caved my inhibitions.

Then true darkness hit.


The sun had a scent, did you know? Everything jammed at once into my brain as if seeking precedence over the others: The grass touching my legs, sweeping along my body as it danced with the wind; the faint scent of animals and their feces, of the ground plastered to my face; even of blood I remember. But the scent of the sun was a mesmerizing scent that still awed me to this day. I was still in the dreamy stage of sleep where everything is surreal when reality finally hit.

Bolting upright in fear I looked around, inhaling deeply as I gasped in fright of my surroundings. No where familiar, the terrain seemed to be miles of grassland on all sides, reminding me a sea of grass, rolling with the wind as the waves rolled with the moon. Where was I? I yawned but the indrawn breath brought a whole new perspective on the area that I was soon too disoriented to stand on my own. I kept still, waiting for the nausea to pass and didn't breathe for quite a while in that fashion until I was certain my body could withstand the overwhelming of senses.

The milder scents of fish in the water a half a mile away perhaps, the soil overpowered beneath me, the sun rather high in the sky beaming down. The dry heat I learned that morning made it difficult to withstand the scents as nothing acted as a buffer. I stood shakily on my legs, realizing I was still as sky-clad as the day I was born. The beast flashed in front of me one second there, the next gone and the curious weight in my heart of what I had lost made it difficult to breathe; to live.

The thick stench of tar filling my nose at a sudden shift in the wind made my stomach heave, hands reaching up to cover my mouth to keep from gagging as the sickly stench clogged my throat. Equating tar with people I held it in and followed the revolting scent toward the highway it led to. The nausea cleared my head at least.

When I came upon the road I began to walk. Anywhere but home was all that mattered to me at the moment. My feet were padded by the grass upon which I walked, naked and exposed to the elements.

I missed my mother and knew the truth for what it was, in my heart heavy with sorrow and shame. I wrapped my arms around my stomach, muscles flexing with my new found strength. I knew I was doomed, for who could walk steadily with no food, no drink as the sun beat down upon their naked flesh? Not I, which was for certain. My mother had been all that I had had.

Ignoring the calls and the thrown cans and the beeps of indignant parents shielding their children's eyes from my nakedness, I continued down the highway unclothed like the beast I was.