Who Says the Devil Wears
Prada?…Then Again…
" I'm estimating at around… two grand," I say nonchalantly.
My mother gives me a look.
" It isn't as bad as my junior high grad is it? I spent close to… five grand" I try to sound as if I was becoming a smart shopper.
It didn't work.
" I'm not ordering anything from Europe that Giorgio Armani's gonna design for me! I'm only ordering from Toronto and it's not one of a kind!"
My mother relaxed a bit. I sighed my relief (internally).
" It's not even your grad!" she suddenly exclaimed.
" Yeah, but-"
" I'm pretty sure Mr. Harvard won't be disappointed if you don't wear something that costs… well, under one grand"
Whaaaaaa?!!!!
" But everything under one grand…! I can't believe you're suggesting this, Miss I-must-wear-a-different-Prada-suit-everyday-to-work!" I exclaimed.
This wasn't going too good. She would be in a worse situation right now if I told her I was proposed to and had said yes.
" Mom, He's gonna leave two days after grad! I won't be able to see him later on!" I pleaded with her.
" Fine! But I don't want you to spend a cent more than three grand" she gave in.
YAAAAAY!
" I love you mommy!" I said to her in a girlish voice. I hugged her tight.
" Well, I suppose I'll let you have your way this summer with your friends before we leave. I do know that you don't want to come with us to France"
She was bribing me.
It was working…a bit.
" Celeste…"
" Mmm?"
" I planned a mother-daughter yoga class tonight, I thought we can have a nice talk"
" Mom! "
" Oh come on! I haven't had a good mother-daughter talk in ages! I want to know what's going on…"
" Nothing's going on!"
" I don't want you to spend more than one grand then!"
She rose up from the couch she was sitting on, and started walking away from the living room.
" Okay okay! I'll come!" I grumbled.
" Good! Cancel any plans you have tonight! We're gonna partay!!!"
My mom was an under control, cool attorney. I had never seen this lively side to my mom in ages. It creeped me out.
" Alright! Since this is a beginners class, we'll start with the basic poses!"
A lady said to my right. She was our yogi and was supposed to have learnt yoga from the masters in India. She was short and had a little mole next to her mouth.
Moooley moley moley!
" God! I haven't done yoga in a long time! This is gonna be fun!"
" Yeah fun…sure" I half-heartedly agreed with my mom.
We both got out our matching yoga mats and spread them out on the floor.
" Let's all start with the Cobra! This position is a great back strengthener!"
said the mole lady. She lay down on her mat, placed her hands underneath her shoulders and pushed up so she was supporting the upper half of her body. I sniggered; it was another form of a push-up.
" Remember, keep your legs straight and together and your toes pointy!"
We all immediately copied her position. My back gave a little crack here and there.
The mole lady stood up and went over to a stereo and put on a CD. It was the Verve Remix. I started to relax.
" Gosh! If we don't stop this soon my back is gonna break!" my mom gasped out to me. I giggled. I was actually getting the hang of this!
" Oh mom! This is easy! If this is all were gonna do, this is gonna be a cinch!"
I said happily.
"My dear! This is barely anything! This is just…let's say… a warm-up!"
The mole lady came over to see how we were doing. I looked over to my mom. She smiled weakly.
" My poor back isn't as young as I thought it was! Ha!"
" We can stop mom…"
" No!" she shouted.
" Okaaay…"
The rest of the class had actually gone smoothly. My mom was actually getting into it. We got the most praises out of all the class.
" Well! That was…refreshing wasn't it?" My mom raised her arms over her head in glee.
Oh no! Please don't do your happy dance…please!
She did.
" Mom! You're embarrassing me!" I mumbled to her.
" I'm sorry my dear! I haven't been this de-stressed in my life!"
I headed to the locker room. Someone tapped my shoulder. It was a girl with curly brown hair.
" I saw you out there with your mom. I wish I had a good relationship with my mother, or a cool one at that!"
I was surprised.
" Me? And my mom? God! I wish I had a normal mother! A little less… groovy if you know what I mean"
I pointed over to my mom who was still doing her Elvis routine. The girl laughed.
" My name's Georgia. Yours?"
" Celeste"
" Pleased to meet you! I'll see you next class!" she skipped off.
Next class? I'm not gonna be here sweetie! Ha!
" Celeste! Isn't this class great honey!"
It was my mom again.
" Sure"
" I thought you'd love it! That's good because I booked ourselves in for the whole month!"
Whaaaat?!!!
" Mom!" I half-shrieked.
" There was this nice little monthly package I couldn't resist," my mom shrilled " we'll have a class together every Wednesday!"
I groaned. I have to put up with groovy mama for a whole month!
I got my stuff out of my locker and headed out to the car with my mom.
" How about we go out for supper? It's already eight and I don't want to bother Alfonse.
Alfonse was our cook.
I didn't say anything.
" How about Earls?"
I shrugged.
" Earls it is!" my mother said happily.
It was a five-minute drive since we were down town already. We got out and went inside.
" Table for two please!"
" Yes Mrs. Vandelaak, this way" the hostess said.
" Do you come here regularly?" I said surprisingly.
" Yeah, about two times a week for lunch with clients I have" she responded.
We sat down next to a stupid replica of Michelangelo's David.
" I'll have an iced tea and my daughter will have a…"
" I'll have an iced tea too thanks" I finished for her.
The waiter nodded, gave us our menus, and left for our drinks.
" So…" my mother began.
" So what?"
And so the mother-daughter talk begins
" Tell me about Mr. Harvard"
" His name is Luke"
She ignored me
" Isn't his father Mikos Papadopuolos?
" Yeah…"
" Gosh! I haven't spoken to him in ages! We should invite his family over for supper shouldn't we? I'll ask your father too, after all he was your father's best man"
" That would be alright I guess..."
It would be good getting together again, considering they're gonna be my parent in-laws one day
" I always thought you two would be together," my mom reminisced happily "You two were inseparable when you were kids!"
My mother suddenly laughed.
" Remember the time when you both said you were going to get married when you were older?"
I smiled. We both looked at the menus.
I guess that's gonna be true…
A waitress came and gave us our drinks.
" Ready to order?"
" Yes, I would like the taco salad with the stir-fry chicken"
" Very good ma'am"
She turned to me.
" I think I'll go with the tortellini soup"
" A good choice miss"
The waiter turned to my mom.
" Do you want any appetizers as you wait?"
" How about some pita bread with tzatziki, hummus, and tomato sauce?"
"Coming right up!"
The waiter walked off with our menus.
" That sounded good" I said.
" I love that stuff! I get it all the time!"
A cellphone rang.
" Oops! Got to take this, just a second!"
" Sure thing"
My mom got up from the table and wandered off.
It was more than a second before she returned. The pita bread had arrived and grown cold. She came back just when our supper was arriving.
" Gosh! I'm so sorry Celeste! There was a hubbub about rescheduling an appeal and all that, and no one had any day free after a month from now…"
Why is she apologizing to me for?
" It's fine, don't worry about it. I left you some pita bread but it's probably cold by now"
My mom gave me a sad look. I waved it off.
" Here's your orders! Enjoy!" the waiter chirped.
We said thanks and began digging in. My mother kept making mmmm sounds.
I think I should tell her. It's now or never, and she started the whole topic anyway.
" Mom?"
" Yeah honey?" she said in between mouthfuls.
" I need to talk to you about Luke"
She suddenly looked nervous.
" Honey I know"
I was shocked.
How did she find out? Was I on the news again? Did they catch me wearing the ring?
" How do you know?"
" Honey whenever someone's in love you can tell by their eyes. You, on the other hand brighten up every time I mention him"
I blushed.
" You love him" she said simply.
So she doesn't know!
" So you don't know about the ring?"
My mom stopped halfway from putting chicken in her mouth. She slowly put her fork down.
" What ring?" she asked calmly.
I have to tell her!
I didn't budge.
Go on! NOW!
" Luke proposed to me" I gushed out quickly.
My mom shrieked.
" And I said yes" I continued.
My mom toppled off her chair.
She fainted.
Any chance of a chocolate lava sundae?
God! That was the longest chapter I ever wrote! I hope I didn't bore you!
The devil referred in the title is her mother, of course, but I got that out of that upcoming movie too. Yes I'm sad, but it fits! Her mom wears Prada everyday! HA! (I am sad!)
You know what to do! REVIEW!