Haunted smile

I still think back

To the day when you

Looked at me

And for the first

Time in forever

I was able to be happy

I had hair about

My face, that day

Covering my eyes

Trying to hide

The fact

That in my silence I cried

I hid it from the world

Under golden

Corn-silk blonde

This was before the

Tears dried up

From all the jibes and taunts


I remember you walked up to me

And looked

Beyond my tears

And you gave me

A smile that I would remember

Throughout my many years

You said that it

Would be okay and that

You would help me through

And I believed

That what you said

Was honest and was true


The next year I came back

Changed by

The kindness you showed

But you had become

One of them

I never thought you'd stoop so low

You acted like

You were

Never kind

Like always and forever

You had been restrained

By societey's lines


It was then that I decided

That humanity

Was cruel

And that everyone

Was sustained

Around all the social rules

That no one would

Accept me

Because not even you did

Because how you

Were supposed to act

Was more important than a friend

It was then that all

My tears dried up

And I gave into blood instead

And it was then I

Started thinking

I'd be better off if dead

The sharpened

Razor's lure

Called stronger than your words

Because it could

Drain away

All my pain and hurt


Now I sit here healing

No longer do

Wounds show

Instead over the

Open scars

New happiness can grow

But even now

In this time

Alone in the dark of night

Still your smile

That day haunts me

Until dawn's revealing light