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Rule 17: Never Have Detention With A Hot Guy
The screams of Marilyn Manson drowned the growling pleads for food from my stomach. My new buddy, Nana Anton, cracked one-sixth of his eye and threw me a bag of just-baked and delicious bagels. May God bless New York City for their cool snacks.
"Listen up guys, listen," Bruce Gleick began. Slowly, he turned his Mercedes Benz and entered the school campus. My new school was very different from other schools. It looked more like a rich man's mansion rather than a school. It had practically everything: an Olympic-sized swimming pool, a huge stadium and a big hall.
"Remember what's supposed to happen when our new man, Evan, lose his bet that Megan Bikkel wont ask him out?" Bruce punched James Jackson in the arm with his big footballer fist s he parked the car with one hand on the steering, "What do you say, man?"
Taking off his seatbelt, James whined, "Why do I always have to hook you losers up? In case you haven't gotten the flyer, I'm not Schwierigkeit Valley High School's love doctor."
My face scrunched up in confusion, "Hey dude, why do you wanna match make me for? I don't want any trouble from Megan, you know."
Nana threw his head back and let out a bark of laughter, "Yeah, since now that chick wants your sex pootie." I shrugged casually, rubbing his dark smooth head. Seriously, Megan was the kind of girl, after a glance at her, every guy wish to be with that beauty. She was the kind who felt as if everyone had elevated her to her status a their superior. When she flounced through the hallway, it was like she was too great to simply walk. To me, a hot body and a nice ass are awesome, but worthless if a solid working brain is absent.
So in other words, I was pretty much less than thrilled when she asked me out. But I was Mr. Nice Guy. So I just shrugged in agreement.
"Dude," James suddenly smirked, mimicking my accent, "You know that we do this for kicks, right? You don't have to ask our target girlie out. You just need to ask for her number."
Bruce, who had just put on his headphones and was nodding his head like one of those miserable little dogs people sometimes see in the back of old folk's can, jerked to a stop and punched James again, "You dope, which chick wouldn't give the new basketball captain her number?" Although James looked slightly annoyed at Bruce, he turned to me and said mysteriously, "She fucking wouldnt." I followed his finger.
She was kicking the vending machine. A can dropped. Her very light blond hair covered her eyes and stylishly contrasted her tanned skin. The light blue piercing just below her lips gleamed under the white lights. Leaning casually against her locker, she nonchalantly drank her soda while she watched the couple in front of her kissing. Then, as though sensing my eyes on her, she turned.
I felt a little skitter tingling over my skin. She had the bluest eyes.
"What's up with the new girl?" I asked, slightly dazed. Bruce looked at James before grinning at me. It was one of those sickening cartoon grins, like Tom does when he's just about to bash Jerry with a frying pan, "Before you move from sunny California to well, gloomy New York, there lived a girl who could whip you into cream without blinking. Teachers stayed out of her way. Even us, guys, would never ask her out after one of us nearly got skinned by her."
I snuck a glance at her. Beautiful, yeah, but she looked as about menacing as Kermit the frog.
"Then she did something hell bad and got thrown into jail," Bruce continued, "And she's back again."
"Honey, you have no idea how glad I am to have my best friend back," Toby Strait exclaimed, laying his dark hand on my shoulder and swerved me away from the car and into the school.
God, it had been ages since I had stepped into this place. But I entered with no joy. Everyone here was loaded with all those rich crap, except me and Toby, of course, and some others who were unfortunate enough to be sent here. In other words, we were ostracized most of the time.
I unclenched my fists slightly as we walked through the hallway. My body was tensed. Just then, a pretty red head wrapped her arms around his waist and chirped, "Welcome back Lin!"
Grace Walker then kissed Toby full on the mouth. Okay people, raise your hand if 'eew'? "You guys are making me sick," I muttered, kicking the soda machine. A can fell at my feet. It was my favorite hobby.
I blew out a sigh, "Okay, once you people surgically remove yourselves from each other, beep me. Later."
Maybe I was being a little unreasonable here but you had to understand looking at couples kissing don't make me real comfy especially since I was still
So, excuse me for my lack of understanding because due to my short of experience, I find making out completely gross.
I was about to head for fresh air at the stadium when Grace remarked, "You know, Lin. I'm really glad to have you back," she walked towards me and hugged me, "But I think you lack a steady guy. You know, to occupy your time at night, instead of jumping on people in the streets."
I nearly choked on air, "Have you gone completely psycho? Since when is my time worth to be spent on a guy-slash-bitchman? Anyway, I quit the jumping already. I'm trying to change, okay. See, I came to school early for once."
Looking as though she had expected my reaction, she stuck herself back on Toby. Suddenly, I felt a creepy twinge of being stared at. I turned.
Who was that guy? He was with the Atheletic Crew. Sheesh, why did he have to look at me like that? It didn't make a girl feel incredibly hot, you know. Whatever, all guys are jerks anyway. Okay, excluding Toby for most of the time because he was my best friend and my best girlfriend's boyfriend.
I looked back again.
Shit. He was heading towards me. Wait a sec, was he smiling? A scheme burst into my little blond head. I offhandedly turned towards my locker and unlocked it slowly. Just as he was nearly right next to me, I flung the locker door open with much energy.
And it slammed on something. Hard.
It was like a mountain of books exploded and scattered on the floor, just like I planned. But the weird thing was that I didn't really realize all this. Because I had jumped from behind the door and was now completely drowning in these breathtaking dark gray eyes. They had a tinge of green in them. Did I mention they are making me weaker every minute?
Say hi to Mr. Hunk.
I think I was swooning, pretty much full time. It was a new experience for me. I don't swoon. I beat people up and make teachers cringe.
God, shoot me now.
"Spicolli! What are you doing here?" blurted Grace, staring at him, concerned.
Who wouldn't be concerned? The poor guy was sprawled on the floor. My probation officer always says that I should be helpful. So, being good and shit, I held out a hand and pulled him up. It wasn't too long after that when I found myself regretting doing that.
The guy had dark brown hair that seemed to be begging my hand to run through them. At about 6 feet 2, he looked down at me with those gray pearls and I got a full close up of his gorgeous face. His strong jaw unclenched at the sight of me and from the feel of his hand, I knew he had a tough, hard body. He seemed to be a nice guy.
So people, wont you please: SHOOT. ME. NOW. I was supposed to be Miss Boy-Cott, remember?
"Hey Walker, I wanted to err, tell you Mr. Oilman gave us an off day from work today," he managed to croak out.
I guessed Grace must have noticed I was gawking at the guy like some retard since she quickly said, "Oh. This is my friend, Lin Sky. I think you haven't seen her because she was absent from school for quite sometime."
"Hey," his deep voice echoed in my head as he shook my hand, which I had just noticed was still clinging onto his, "I'm Evan Spicolli, Schwierigkeit new basketball captain. I transferred here 2 months ago." He gave me a warm sincere smile and his eyes crinkled good-naturedly although there was still a streak of pain in them. Some guys were quaking in laughter at the end of the hallway.
I was racking my brain for something to say when I finally registered what he had just said.
"Fresh bitch!" I cursed, leaping back. You may think I had gone completely psychotic but I think you should know that the people from the ruling class of the school and me didn't go along very well. I hate them no matter cute they might be and they hate me no matter clever I was. That was that. Plus, this particular member was a male. So it added another hate factor. Guys and me didn't go along that well either. And I wonder why.
"Are you okay?" there was a hint of surprise in his worried voice.
"I'm sorry, boss," Toby's face was scrunched up in worry and he stepped in front of me hastily, "My friend here has the ability to mutate in a short period of time. You aint wanna be here to witness this huge process."
Just then, I heard a familiar voice and peals of laughter coming near us. Those sounds seemed to activate something in my nervous system.
"I know you can be under the hedge, and you can be over the hedge, but can you ever be in the hedge?"
"I think you can in the other side of the world."
Suddenly, the laughter stopped and cold silence hung in the atmosphere. Out of the blue, a strawberry blonde head with a perfect face was shoved right in front of my nose.
"Welcome back, loser. How was your trip to jail?" mocked Megan Bikkel, the school queen. Her group, the Lips, was right behind her. Yeah, they call themselves the Lips. How lame was that?
I took a step towards her from behind Toby's rigid frame, "Are you lost?"
"No. In fact, I came here to, like, talk."
"We don't talk," I spat, my face hardened with anger.
Grace whispered in my ear forcefully, "C'mon, let's go. I don't want you to land in detention again."
Truth was, detention didn't matter to me anymore. I had been in those too much, I felt as though I was immune to the treatment the teachers gave me in detention. Honestly, I was tempted to stay put here and find trouble with Megan. Because I have this weakness: I live for trouble. You can call me a trouble addict, whatever, but I can't survive without the thrill. Which was why I don't really go along with the ruling class because I always manage to find trouble with them no matter how bad they torture my friends and me.
"Hey, what's going on here?" asked Evan suddenly, his eyebrows carefully knitted, eased himself between Megan and me.
"Totally, you freak faced ho-hag and your pathetic friends including the slut can go hide in your lockers," she said scornfully. That was when the Lips tried to chuck us in the lockers.
And that was when I pounced on Megan. Not only because of my trouble-seeking thing, but anger has always been a friend of mine. However, instead of having a full impact on the president of the Lips, I crashed into an enormous rock. Namely, the King of Schwierigkeit.
Obviously, he had interfered. Was that fabu or what?
I was about to beat the shit out of him for getting in my way when he held me firmly with both hands and looked into my eyes in concern. Instead of pushing him away, my breath was caught in my lungs, and my heart was paused, mid-beat. There was a trace of surprise in his eyes. I could feel the other students' stares burning holes in my black jeans and colorful tee but I didn't seem to notice. Evan's eyes gazed into mine as though they had never seen me before. Uh huh, they had never seen a freak like me, yeah.
Just then, Toby's wry voice entered my ears, "And here, you have just witnessed the tedious mutation process."
As if someone had pulled me back to this place called Schwierigkeit's hallway, I thrust Evan away from me and swore. Touching: bad, especially for Miss Keep-Your-Distance.
A stern voice cracked like a whip, "I see we're going to make our visits a weekly ritual again, are we?"
Ms. Beechen, the disciplinary mistress, stood at the end of the hallway. The fuzzy buzz had died instantly. Lemme see, boy, I wonder what's coming up next.
"Detention, Ms Sky."
I rolled my eyes in exasperation.
"Hey, could you please pass the detergent."
She tossed it to me without even looking up, spattering soapy water on my face. Her foot kept tapping the wet floor impatiently. A thin strip of perfectly tanned skin peeked behind her shirt. My heart responded with a thump.
"Thank you," I quacked. This might sound weird but she looked pretty as anger flashed across her face. Her lips were set in a tight line and her hips were angled in such a way that made me churn strangely. There was something about her that sent bizarre pangs to my stomach.
Man, where on earth did I get that? What on Earth had Bruce and his buddies land me in?
Being nice and cool about everything, I tried to break the colossal ice here, "I see people identify you as something like turbulent character." Terrific, Evan. Impress a girl with something like that.
"Truthfully, I think 'fucking bitch' is used most of the time," she muttered, her ice-cold eyes stabbed into mine behind a curtain of light blond hair. My eyebrow lifted in surprise, "Serious? Dude, I'm known as Mr. Nice Guy."
"So that, I guess, made you stop me from roasting Megan alive. And which brings us to here, washing dishes for the cafeteria staff. Gosh, thanks King of Schwierigkeit for giving me the opportunity to grow a giant bump in my forehead and wrinkling my skin with detergent," she steamed.
"I don't want you to get into trouble."
"And I don't need a man to save me, thanks." Oh.
Hoping to make the corners of Lin's lips twitch a little, I asked," It's my first time getting detention, yeah. Well, it's the last place I ever expect myself being in. What about you?" Apparently, I had failed horribly since all she did was let out a loud snort dripping with sarcasm. Her reply was short and again, a little startling, "I'm married to it."
But she wasn't finished, "You're only this close to getting bitch-slapped. So, shut up wont you, son?" thump, thump, thump, went her foot.
I took a step back, lifting my hands in surrender. Unfortunately, being Mr. Nice Guy, I couldn't help myself from talking. See, the girl seemed to be in a lot of stress, I thought I'd like to loosen her a little, "Hey," I pointed to the clump of food on the dirty plate, "spotted balls?"
Without warning, she poured the entire pail of water that was sitting next to her on my head. I protested, cough up the tasteless water, "What is it with you girlies and the head? Why is it always the head?"
"You're saying I'm a slut whose mission is spotting males' balls, aint that right pretty boy?" she demanded. I stared at her in alarm and shook my head vehemently, "I was just commenting about the dish of the day: spotted balls." I sprayed detergent on her.
Suddenly, something unexpected happened: a small hint of a smile tickled her lips. My heart whacked against my chest. Before I knew it, we were playfully splashing each other. Viciously, she splashed a pail of soapy water on me. Water trickled behind my back. All of a sudden, I found myself pinning her to the wall.
"Dude, I've got you now," I breathed roughly as my body leaned on hers. I reached out and tucked her soft hair behind her ears. For once, there was a new expression pasted on her face besides anger: surprise. Or perhaps, alarm?
Thump, thump, thump. No, this time it wasn't Lin's fidgeting. It was my heart racing.
Before I could do anything else, my mind went blank and I couldn't move.
Okay, I really didn't know how it happened but it just did: For once in my life, I blushed. I'm sorry but closeness had strange side effects on me. My hands felt cold and the air touched me with cold fingers.
Then, I did the only thing that crossed my mind; I smacked his shin with my well-worn sneakers. And suddenly, something worse than me blushing happened: the guy- what was his name? Evan? - Crashed onto the hard kitchen floor.
Oh. Me. Gosh.
He didn't move at all. Baffled, I walked over to him and slapped his face.
OH. ME. GOSH.
He was covered with ice. Was that fabu or what? I didn't even know how the hell that was possible. Could someone be kind enough and explain to this confused girl who was standing helplessly beside a huge iceberg.
Unless… I stared at my hands in shock. Unless I was the one who had frozen him, "Peanut butter cups!"
Ms. Beechen called from behind the cafeteria door, "Is everything fine?"
"Splendid," I hollered with fake cheerfulness. With an enormous effort, I tried to lift Mr. Frozen Evan up. "Bloody brilliant," I added, hoping that the freaking teacher would feel satisfied torturing me.
Breathing heavily and wondering how the hell I got myself in this shit, I flashed the iceberg my middle finger. My eyes caught sight of the black circular drain cover on the road. Without much hesitation, I threw open the window and heaved Evan through it. He fell softly on the grass outside. Jumping easily over the opening, I pulled the drain cover.
You may wonder how on earth I got this fantastic idea. My gang and I always dove into these to get away from the police. Those were my trouble making days. I know it's not common to have a female gang member, but yeah.
Once underground, I carefully pushed Evan through the stinky and dark path as I silently fumed, thinking of the best way to torture Evan after this. Being incredibly clumsy, I stumbled through the darkness and landed on something really cold with my lips practically plastered to it. Squinting, I finally realized I was kissing Evan's frozen lips. A dead rat stared at me with its hollow eyes.
"Shit!" I barked, punching him. I yelped as my fist made fierce contact with the solid ice. Feeling as though my nerves were about to shatter, I kicked Evan viciously through the crappy place and completely not caring if his head hit the hard wall. I was definitely going to murder him once he was unfrozen.
Heaving a sigh of relief, I took in the fresh air above ground as I pulled Evan out of the hole. My house was only a few meters away. Just as I was pushing him hurriedly towards a small residence called my home, I caught sight of Mrs. Strait, Toby's grandmother. Dammit. (Toby lived next to me.)
But fortunately, the lady suffered from a slight short-term memory. Hopefully, she would forget her encounter with me today.
"Lin, dear, is that you? Heavens, what are you doing?" she asked, her eyes narrowed with motherly concern.
"Nothing, really, Mrs. Strait. Just exercising a little, see," I gave her a forced smile.
"Who's this pleasant young man?" she moved closer with her walking stick. I pulled Evan back a little as I tried not to choke out, "Pleasant? This shit made me go through hell!" Instead, I announced as politely as I could, "Mrs. Strait, meet Evan Spicolli. Evan, meet Mrs. Strait."
She offered her hand but Evan, of course, on the account of being frozen stayed frozen. Mrs. Strait stared at him, puzzled. "He's too shy," I sputtered, "But he lifted his hand to say hi!" I pointed at his frozen hand, the time when he tidied my hair.
Mrs. Strait let out an easy chuckle, "What year are you, same as Lin?"
"Yeah, senior," I grunted, trying hard not to move my lips.
"Goodness, does he has sore throat?" cried Mrs. Strait.
"Throat inflammation, actually. Which is why I need to send him to the doctor urgently. Later, Mrs. Strait," I hastily pushed Evan towards the house, leaving her staring after me. Was that hell or what?
As soon as I burst into my home, I yelled, "Mom, dad, I'm home!"
Nobody answered, except for my own echoes. A thin thread of relief ran through my veins. I brutally dragged him up the stairs to my room. I had no intention of doing anything with him in bedroom except to hide him from my parents. Purr-lease.
Just as I flung the door open, my eyeballs nearly popped out of my sockets. There was a strange creature inside. It had a male human torso but the bottom half of its body was that of a horse.
"What is this hoofed asshole doing on my bed?"