Chapter Five

"You two are such a pain in My ass."

They jumped apart from each other at the intruding voice. It was a teenage boy, one of those tall skater looking kids with shaggy brown hair and pierced everything. He had a Black Sabbath t-shirt and a pair of raggedy black jeans with chains running off of them that clinked as He skated up to them on a skateboard.

Lucifer growled deep in his throat but Ria placed a hand on his arm. He grabbed her hand and slipped his fingers through hers, giving her a reassuring squeeze.

"It's a mutual feeling," Luc said in a controlled voice.

God skated around the two in lazy circles, not bothering to acknowledge Luc's remark. "You two just can't make up your mind, can you? One minute you're flouting My laws and the next minute you're going and doing exactly," He stopped talking to perform a complicated trick on His skateboard, "What I created you two for. Stick to one stereotype or the other, honestly."

"What are You talking about?" Ria asked, more than a little confused.

"Stereotypes. The humans love them. Like this one, I'm supposed to be a rebel because I ride a piece of wood on wheels and wear shirts made in Taiwan instead of China."

Luc sighed exasperatedly, "What are You talking about 'doing exactly what You created us for'?"

He snorted and gave Lucifer a hard look, "Do you think it's only a coincidence that your physical appearance happens to be the antithesis of what is in any holy book about Me? White dove, white flaming bush, white light, white robes? Humans sometimes can be a bit dense but they can detect a pattern when it's thrown in their faces. And you think that Ria has the only white wings to be found on an angel because I got tired of creating colors?"

God appeared suddenly in front of the two, very serious. "You two were created so that Kyra Venaldi would capture an epic battle of light versus dark on her brand new camcorder and post it online. The son of an influential Muslim leader will see this video and show his rich and pompous ass of a father who will consequently have a heart attack and leave his son all of his money, titles, and influence. This son is going to spend the next twenty two years of his life traveling all over the world and becoming a truly learned man. He is then going to compose a worldwide treaty that every single country is going to sign heralding the end of all the wars and the beginning of a time of peace and technological advances like nothing this world has ever seen."

He pulled back and started skating in those lazy circles again, "Of course you two falling in love and leading that stupid rebellion and forcing Me to exile you threw a huge kink into that plan. I thought I was going to have to throw some paint on Michael's and Gabriel's wings and let them pretend to be you two. But then Fate just had to play her games and be so…fateful and push you two together at just the right times and instill just the right thoughts so you could fulfill your purpose. It's a nasty habit she has, of making everything work out like it's meant to just by her showing up. Of course even Fate couldn't have helped if I hadn't been keeping an eye on you two and conveniently put a cloud in Kyra's way when you two did the whole huggy bit."

He turned to Ria, "As it is, it looks like that final hit you gave him defeated him. And then you conveniently fade into a cloud, mission accomplished and looking like a true Angel of God."

She raised an eyebrow, trying to sort all of the information they had just been given, "So…we did something good."

God shrugged, "Depends on your point of view. For humanity and pretty much all life borne of this earth, yes. For Me, no."

"And what about from our point of view?" Lucifer asked.

"That would be undecided at this point in time." He answered, looking a bit peeved. "Everything I have created has a purpose. Everything. And when a being's purpose is complete I am obligated by fifth law of heaven to reward them. Since you're angels I would usually give you a ticket for the easy life in heaven doing whatever floats your boat but there's a problem with that."

He stopped again, and stood in front of them, more than a little pissed now. "You aren't allowed in heaven. You two are the exception to the rule. You two always make yourselves the exception to the rule. Have any other angels every even gotten the tiniest of urges to fall in love? No. Has any other being, immortal or otherwise, ever tried to overthrow Me? Of course not. And now you two have gone and shoved this rule up My ass to keep company with the others! What the hell am I supposed to do with you two now?"

God paced, glaring at the two, "I can't revoke my punishment or I break My own law and end life as it is known. I can't turn you human because you'll die in sixty years and end up with no place to go in the afterlife. I can't turn you into something inanimate because you have souls. What I should do is just erase you from existence and get rid of you two for good but that's not a reward is it? And Fate, if you think you're hiding from Me, think again."

Fate appeared a second later sitting on a median. She was grinning sheepishly before God turned to her and she wiped it off her face. "I just wanted to see what was going to happen to them," she said.

"You should be thinking about what's going to happen to you. You broke laws."

Her mouth dropped, "I didn't! You said, 'No matter how hard they search one shall never find the other.' They didn't find each other until after they gave up searching and my job was officially finished."

His eyes narrowed dangerously, "And Ria just happening to be in the same alley Luc was today? You told her where to find him."

Fate shook her head, "I did no such thing. Ria does glass art now, I told her about a guy that drank lots of wine straight from the bottle and that he discarded all of the bottles in that dumpster. I didn't say a word about Luc or about her seeing him there."

God growled at her. The commanders swallowed a chuckle. Fate had worked her magic perfectly, exploiting all the loopholes in His word to perfection. There was nothing He could punish her for.

Lady Fate raised a hand, "I have a suggestion on what You can do with them, if You could find it in Your heart to listen to Your humble servant."

God snorted, "Humble you have never been. What is your suggestion?"

"Really the only thing you can do is leave them as they are. Angels are immortal except for an Archangel sword through the chest or if You will it. I don't think they'll be stabbing each other anytime soon and if You keep them alive then You don't have to worry about the afterlife issue. You won't break any of Your laws by leaving them as they are. Actually You'd be following them."

God thought about it, "That is a worthy suggestion. But I must give them something as their reward for completing their purpose."

Luc spoke up, "Marry us."

God turned sharply to Luc, "Excuse Me?"

"Marry us," the Archangel repeated. "That is what we want for our reward."

God's jaw tightened, "I will not marry two angels. It is against the second law."

Ria shook her head, "It's not. The second law is that angels are not allowed to fall in love. There is nothing in there about marriage."

If God's jaw could break, it would have. "You all may make the most of the loopholes and trivialities of My word but I will not."

Luc shrugged, "If You do not reward us then You break the fifth law. And that is the reward we named."

God glared at them with all the anger He felt. He knew He was trapped and He hated it.

"Fine." He snapped, grabbing the two's left hands. He held their hands together and said the words to bind them together in His ancient language. A ring made of braided gold and silver appeared on their ring fingers.

He dropped their hands quickly, his glare still firmly in place, "I have given you your rewards for your completed purpose. I have no further use of you. Find an island somewhere and stay the hell out of My hair."

He disappeared with a loud bang and a bright flash of light, His temper showing in His exit.

Once God was completely gone, Fate squealed and hugged Ria and Luc tightly. She pulled back suddenly, "Can angels have kids?"

Ria looked over Luc, thinking. "I don't know. We've got all the right parts."

Luc shrugged, "It's never been done before but that's probably because none have tried."

Fate waved her hand, "Well, if they can, I expect at least four and I expect to be godmother to all of them." She hugged them again, "I'm so happy for you! Now I'll go and let you two get reacquainted." She kissed each of their cheeks, "I'll visit soon." Then she disappeared, her giddy laughter echoing through the empty lot.

Luc pulled Ria's hips to his. "Wife?"

Ria smiled softly, "Husband?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

He pressed his fingers into her hips suggestively, "Do you want to have my children?"

Ria laced her hands around his neck, "Do you think we can?"

Luc kissed her soundly on the lips, holding her as close to his heart as he could.

"Let's find out."

The End


YAY!!!!!! My first complete story! Sappy ending but that's just the way I love them! Thank you so much to all of my most excellent reviewers, you're all the coolest people ever.