It starts simple, with the non-gender clothes,
instead of the dress or the big male boots.
It grows slowly, as you try to change
and you try to get away with a little more.
The cologne your mother was hesitant to buy,
because it smelled too much like her perfume.
Or the shoes your mother wouldn't let you get,
because they were what the boys were wearing.
It builds on itself, as you try to be happy,
to find the you that's inside.
But the more you change the more you realize
what it would take for you to be happy.
And then comes the day when someone calls to you,
But they call the wrong gender.
And you start to wonder and fantasize
What it would be like to be that.
But your mother heard and she corrects them harshly,
because you are not.
And suddenly it all becomes clear
Your not like everyone else.
What you are you just don't know
and you don't understand;
Why are you feeling this way, what is wrong with you
why can't you be happy?
And then you find you're not the only one
and there may be hope for you yet.
Or maybe you don't and you can't find a reason;
A reason to live, a reason to breath, a reason to just keep going.
Then your lost like so many others,
and you can't find your way back.
So you surrender your life knowing, believing,
that the next has to be better than this.
Obviously it's not like this for everyone but this is how it is happening to me. I know this doesn't rhyme, I was having a bad day and just needed to flow. For anybody who feels this poem I hope you find a reason and if you slip every once in a while find a song or something that you can relate to and listen or do it over and over again. I made my own CD that that I listen to over and over until I feel like going on. I recommend Good Charlotte's 'Hold On' or Taproot's 'poem'. You can listen to them on AOL for free.
All reviews welcome.