I walked over the bridge

where they said if you made a wish,

no matter how

crazy or

silly or

selfish or

selfless or


anything was possible.

I wanted to be the heroine

of my own fantasy.

I dreamed of a day when I'd discover

my mind had the power

to move,


to control things


out of its reach.

I never believed my mother when she told me

love would bring magic to my life.

I believe she was on to something

much different than what she meant behind her words.

My mind has a mind of its own.

I can't think of much else

but how strangely connected I am

to people as far from me as everything I wanted

to move,



I've become a whore to self-help books

with no discrepancy to the garbage I'll read.

I feel it's necessary, sometimes,

to lose yourself in ideas so utterly useless

and poorly thought out,

you're forced to correct them

with strange ideas of your own.

The strangest idea of them all

is that I'm just a cliché beautifully ugly girl

searching for understanding and acceptance that seems

as far away as that "perfect person" out there somewhere

waiting to move,


relate to me

in that utterly magical way

I've dared someone to prove to me