Nineteen months. It had been nineteen long, long months, and still she couldn't rid her mind of it; the memories, the betrayal… and him. Oh, yes, for no matter how hard she tried, he wouldn't leave her alone. His presence remained, constantly taunting her.
Haha, it would say, dancing around in her mind in an infuriatingly annoying manner. You fell in lo-ove, you fell in love!
How she despised that little dancing, singing part of her brain.
Slight insanity aside, Rienne was in quite a predicament. Her heart had been ripped into a thousand little pieces, and then stomped on- to add injury to injury, of course. Though there was some insult thrown in as well, since he had cheated on her with a dirty whore who had once almost been a friend, but that was hardly the point.
No, the point was now that she had been given another opportunity; another chance at love. Just as she was starting to trust again, to feel safe again, her fragile life was crumbled. All it took was for her former lover to suddenly walk back into her life, professing his undying love for her. Just that simple act caused everything to, once again, shatter around her. He had hurt her. Wasn't that enough for him? He had broken her trust, led her on, broken her heart, and threw her aside. And now, when she was finally getting her feet back on the ground, learning to set aside her fear of love and open herself to another, he comes back. He walked right back into her life, as if he had never left; as if he belonged there.
But he didn't belong there. He hadn't since he left her, alone and heartbroken.
Whenever she didn't know what to do, she listened to music. The lyrics would tell her what to do, how to feel. That was what she did. Her laptop resting on a rock beside her, Rienne leaned against a tree and stared at the lake in front of her. Putting the music on shuffle, she allowed herself to find the answer. It came in the form of Reel Big Fish's "Where Have You Been?"
You called me up last night in tears and said you missed me after all these years. Well, I've been waiting here so long; I've gotten over it since you've been gone. You called me late last night again and said you're finished with your new boyfriend. Asked if you could come back home- so sorry that you left me all alone.
A small, rare smile graced her lips as she picked up a small rock and threw it forcefully into the water. He had waited far too long to suddenly decide that he loved her. He had fed her that line before, and it had proven to be bullshit then.
You say you love me, love me again. But if you love me- where have you been? You say you need me more than anyone else. Well, go to hell- where have you been? You showed up at my door today, and said, "My friend, why do you push me away?" Your life with him was just so dull, but what we had was something wonderful.
Yes, they had something special, once upon a time. But he had decided that it wasn't enough, he wanted something that she couldn't give him. Not something she couldn't give him because she chose not to, but because of distance. And then he had the nerve to try to get her back, as if she could trust him! No, she wouldn't make the same mistake.
You say you love me, you love me again. But if you love me- where have you been? You say you need me more than anyone else. Well, go to hell- where have you been? No way! You wish! I don't need this! What makes you think I'd ever want you again?
Rienne closed her laptop as soon as the song ended. She didn't need any more advice- she knew what had to be done. She didn't need him, she didn't want him, and she sure as hell didn't trust him.
It was over.
The italicized parts at the bottom are from Reel Big Fish's song "Where Have You Been?"
It took me about 2 months after posting the story to realize that I had never said that, and probably should have.