they could be right

and for some reason, i can't wait for you to
see me and how much (i know i have) changed
(forgive me, though, for sounding so selfish).

because it was you who caused me to bleed
(almost) every day, the one who caused me to
choke up what i shouldn't have eaten and you
who unwillingly caused tears to fall behind the
mask of the girl who hid so much from everyone
(i never wanted anyone to know how weak i am).

but i can feel the barriers breaking thanks to
the immense amount of love that is dripping
from the ones who care about me (so much
that i can't believe i never saw it until now).

now i don't think of you as often i did before.
every time i thought of you, i thought of everything
you (never) did just to show that you (don't&never
did) care (like the cold silence i'm left to hold onto
like glass remnants of my broken past, slicing
wounds across my once clean wrists and arms).

it's as if my life is slowly beginning to form again
(although i know that i can never be the same as i
was before this started). & it's not as if i can make
the scars disappear any faster (but if that were
possible, i would do that such thing in a heartbeat).

maybe they're right (for once) when they say that time
heals everything (although it can't erase the memories).