(This is why I'm not allowed to watch television)The bolded words are shouted. For full effect, read outloud in a slightly southern accent. Also, feel free to be offended.
BE VERY AFRAID!
There are TERRORISTS, and ATHIESTS, COMMUNISTS,
and All other IST's that exist only to BRING US DOWN!
Lock the door, pull down the shades,
Duct tape your mouth shut and BE AFRAID.
Stockpile while you can, canned goods,
and good luck living through the STORM
Which is not caused by a Warming world
And the dead plants CURLED are NOT caused
by your contribution to POLLUTION.
But LIES by the SENATIONALIZINGLEFT!
Today could be the last day of the rest of your LIFE
Illegal aliens have made friends with the RADICAL LEFT.
That's RADICAL as in RADICAL TERRORISTS,
Like those who exist in the USA under surveillance by the CIA,
who watch them letting the dog out and the cat in-
ATHIESTS and SATANISTS in LEAGUE to
make your child learn 'bout some crackpot EVOLUTION
That's really the EXECUTION of religious ideals in the MINDS of our YOUNG.
And their teachin' them to speak the TONGUE of our ENEMY
The ENEMY who's not FOR US, there against us, and we REFUSE to discuss things with
INSURGENTS surging IN to OUR country, you and me and NOBODY else.
And put a gun in the hands of your babes in arms
Cause we're gonna need your infants to fill out the infantry
And now there's an EVIL to be weeded out
The Head of the Nation is calling you out for a War for Democracy
On the Hypocrisy of the Left
The THEFT of SECURITY By those VILLIANS
We got to start KILLIN rights so you can sleep at night!
But you still better
And listen for the air siren signaling the raid
has begun on the morals of MEN,
quarrels of right and wrong,
and which song can be played on the RADIO.
May God Bless you, and let it be the right god and right religion,
or else that's just a smidgen TOO DIVERSE which rhymes with PERVERSE which leads to FORNICATION, so GOD please, SAVE this Nation!