These moments I really cherish – when I know what and how I feel and it calms me down. Funny how we never managed to share moments like this when I listen to the wind blowing through the trees around me, churchbells are ringing, and I watch a blue sky with wisps of cloud, a single branch laden with ripe pears hanging above my head. At moments like this I know where I stand, and I miss the past and I know that none of it can come back. It does not hurt then, it just feels like part of the scenery around me and I know it is not lost, just past part of me as all we live through seeps into our system and reshapes us.