Inside you, I wanted to find
the red stars and the blue moons
that had littered onto the purple sky.
to take them out and make them real.
Beside you, I wanted to have
the comfort of warm hands
but they had slid through me, never
because they were dead.
Astride you, I wanted to break
your ribs and get to your heart.
Then I could ask it why it didn't
in me so I could be alive.
Instead of alone.