Inside you, I wanted to find

the red stars and the blue moons

that had littered onto the purple sky.


to take them out and make them real.

Beside you, I wanted to have

the comfort of warm hands

but they had slid through me, never


because they were dead.

Astride you, I wanted to break

your ribs and get to your heart.

Then I could ask it why it didn't


in me so I could be alive.

Instead of alone.