This is a prequel to Always My Fault by Biting My Nails (bitingmynails). Written and posted without her permission (please tell me if you want me to remove this, I will). Experimenting on characters living in an asylum. (I hope I didn't do this too badly..)
I woke up blurry-eyed. The first thought that came to my mind was to find you. Jack where are you? Why did you leave me here? I was alone. When I'm alone I feel scared. I wanted to find you. I needed to find you.
"Hey I'm here!" That voice. It was your voice. I tried to locate you. It was difficult. The ward we lived in had rooms, so many rooms, so untypical of a ward. I hated them. They separated me from you. "Jack! Where are you?" I called for you once again. This time you didn't reply. Why?! Why didn't you reply you son-of-a-bitch. I needed you.
"I'm here!" My ears twitched as I picked up your voice. I turned and crawled towards your direction. I need you Jack. Come pick me up. I want you to hold me. You are all I need, all I have. I couldn't see you.
"OK, stop! I don't wanna see you anymore!" You shouted those words to me like I was worthless. Why? You hurt me. I hate it when I get hurt. You'll pay. I swear. But my heart broke into pieces and came out as tears.
I was never enough for you. You never wanted me. You just wanted out, out of this mental ward. I don't know why you always wanted to leave. You had me. I was enough for you. I did whatever you wanted me to do, even if I didn't feel comfortable. For what? For your enjoyment?
I saw a pen-knife. I like pen-knives. They cut well. I slid it open to reveal its blade. I introduced the blade to my arm. A slash brought some red-liquid flowing. I like the red liquid. It felt warm and tasted like metal. I like to taste the warm red flowing liquid. I licked the red liquid off my arm and I suddenly remembered that I had to find you.
You let out laughter. I was surprised. But I started to laugh too. It felt great. I wondered about what you were going to do next. There was a huge clang, I think you dropped a knife. That's not a pen-knife, that's a knife! You're gonna kill yourself. Oh my god you son-of-a-bitch, you are not leaving me like that! I began to feel scared, and as I felt scared, I laughed and bit my tongue.
You started to shout. Why did you shout? Cut it slowly. The red liquid is nice. If you shout you are going to not enjoy it that much. I followed your shouting, every foot I crawled, your shouts get louder. I feel scared too. I start to cut myself too. My arm was flowing with red liquid. It was warm. I see my handprints on the ground. Nice. I liked them. They remind me of my art project in grade school.
I pulled myself up against the wall. I stopped crawling. I wanted to see where you were. You were in the bathroom. I can finally see you. I plumped onto the floor, dragging myself and leaving a trail of blood, I entered the bathroom.
I--I founded you! Fuck, I found you! You are lying in bloody water in the bathtub. A relieved smile on your face…