Christmas Eve at the AnimeCon
'Twas the night before Christmas, and during the big day
Not a fanboy was quiet, not even Man-Faye;
The booths were set up in the lobby with care,
In hopes that some ninjas soon would be there;
The cosplayers wrestled for cheap dolls and toys,
Beating to a pulp all the good girls and boys;
A catgirl with a bat clubbed a boy in a cape,
Swiping his posters as he shouted, "Rape!"
When out in the lobby there arose such a clatter,
Vash and Spike dashed to see what was the matter;
Naruto appeared in smoke and a flash,
Followed by a gun-toting nun with a sash;
The entrance was trashed, patrons and staff scattered 'round,
While Alphonse Elric ran out like a big metal hound;
When what to their surprise they thought they could see,
But a gun-waving Santa with twelve M-16s.
The giant, the Baron, this man so quick,
No one argued this was the evil St. Nick.
Faster than thought his coursers came,
While he threw grenades and called them by name,
"Now, Goku! Now, Yusuke! Now, Kenshin and Cloud!
On Greed, on Gluttony, on Lust hit the crowd!
To the booths, to the shops, to the AMV wall!
Now dash away, dash away, dash away all!"
The poor victims did nothing but buy their stuff,
Merchandising made sure Santa wouldn't take no guff.
So around the hotel the coursers they flew,
Leaving no item unbought or at most just a few.
And then in a twinkling there was heard on the roof,
Not a crash, not a scrape, not a yelp or a hoof,
But instead a jolly old laugh that made the place tumble,
Ninja Santa had come to join in the rumble!
He was dressed all in black, with a great big white beard
And followed by elf-ninjas that did more than strike fear.
A bundle of swords he had slung on his back,
But not just a bundle, he had a great stack!
The consumers, they came, and each took a blade;
Standing beside the elves from whom they were made.
Evil Santa, he cringed, but in a laugh and a snap,
Summoned his evil pirate-elves to wake up from their nap.
Santa and Santa, they faced themselves down,
While we buyers and ninjas just went to town.
The pirates stood no chance against our ninjutsu;
I personally saw one kicked by a fanboy's footsu.
Either dead or defeated, it didn't quite matter which,
The elven rapscallions were owned like a barrel of fish.
His armies gone, his coursers afraid,
Evil St. Nick cowered and cried for his maid.
After Ninja Santa and his helpers were thanked,
Evil Santa was then promptly shanked.
And laying his finger aside his red nose,
The great Santa winked and then quickly arose
In a flash and a bang the ninjas all flew away
And left us behind to continue our day.
While I picked up my stuff, he yelled back in flight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"