I chased the leaves, thinking if I caught enough you'd come back.

I ran after each color of the rainbow, hoping I'd find the end.

I danced around in the wind, arms spread wide, knowing you were watching me.

I smiled and laughed and lived my life, went everywhere you wanted to.

And none of it brought you back.


I visited your grave in the fall and summer and winter and spring.

I brought roses and violets and poems and, as always, daffodils.

I kissed the stone and told you everything.

I poured my tears on the earth for you, mourned my own pain.

And none of it brought me relief.

And none of it brought you back.


I eat and I drink and I breathe.

I walk and I talk and sometimes I smile.

I fall a thousand miles each day and yet never move at all.

I scream and I crawl and I beg for you to return..

And none of it matters, because I haven't the choice.

And none of it brought me relief.

And none of it brought you back.


I stood in the sun for you, smiling at the warmth on my face.

I played in the sea for you, laughing in the waves.

I whirled around in the spring rain, arms wide, dancing with your ghost.

I raised my voice high, at first lamenting and finally rejoicing.

And it all matters, because I've learned at last.

And it took forever but I've found relief.

And none if it will ever bring you back—


But you're waiting for me.

And I can be content with that.