I was offered to be a stripper. I know this sounds real sick but I'm really flattered. Like two minutes ago I was thinking I was ugly as hell, I really do have a problem with my looks. I rather say I'm okay looking than face the fact I have a real self-confidence issue. But now I'm totally over that.
Well Paul said cute but with some makeup and a thong I'll look super sex-A.
Not that I'm getting the job. I have no confidence I'm not crazy. But now I feel like I'm on top of the clouds. I know this is super-shallow but really come on. Looks aren't everything but when someone tells you you're pretty and well he said cute but that's not the point you feel way better. But I mean what I say about being average smart. I get Bs most of the time and an A occasionally. So anyways I was two blocks west and stepped in the puddle. I stopped to look at my shoes; I stopped and looked at the puddle instead. In the reflection I see curly natural big black hair, bright brown warm eyes, and mulatto skin. One more block west, left turn, going straight. Now I'm back to my familiar territory.
I ended up back a Kenny's which is only a block away. As I walked past the porch I saw Kenny making out with Monique! Monique! Monique! He was…touching her booty!
"What the hell Kenny!" I yelled in shock.
He quickly jumped of her.
"Look, it isn't what it looks like," he said trying to sort out the situation.
"Bitch, you were touching my booty like three seconds ago" Monique said getting up.
We were both looking at each other real pissed. "Get away from my man," she said grabbing Kenny.
"What, he's been mine for two years honey," I said angrily.
"Three," Monique said.
"Three what? Three seconds till I bust your ass!" I was about to give her a piece of my mind when Kenny pushed me away. "Three years hoe! I've been with him," Monique said. She was about to punch me. To bad I pulled out her horse hair of a weave. She had the nerve to do the same with my hair, to bad it's real and it hurts like hell. There was a lot of bleeding. Then we were in a police station. By we, I mean the horse-hair-man stealing donkey trotting bitch.
Apparently Mrs. Baker saw us fighting from her house which is across the street. She called the police.
We were sitting in a jail cell in the police station to my right was a Barbara. I really didn't want to get raped by the huge ape. I know her name is Barbara, or I think it's her lover because she has Barbara tattooed on her arm. Or her mom, or sister, or….whatever it's her nametag now. Also there is a prostitute, who looked like a man. Wait a minute….that is a man. He/She should be in the man cell. She/He has man muscles, and no ass, and sloppy breasts. Maybe he/she should stuff better water balloons in her/his bra. Or she is Paris Hilton's twin. Wow…that was low.
I sighed to myself. To my left was Monique sitting huffing and puffing like a chuga-train.
"This is your entire fault!" she hissed.
"My fault, you stole my boyfriend," I yelled at her in response.
"Why are you guys fighting over someone both dated at the same time and you didn't know," the gorilla said.
"Why are you all up in my grill?" Monique asked rudely.
"Shut it! You're an idiot! I had him first now you want him, ever since the first grade!"
"Oh so I see, you don't want to argue with the idiot that cheated on you because you hate baldy," Barbara said nodding her head up and down as if she was a psychiatrist.
"That's ridiculous," I denied.
"Wait, Alex. This does make sense. You don't you even like the guy," Monique assumed looking at me.
"Hey, I do….as a friend! But you stole him!"
"Damn it! Alex for sixteen years you've hated me! This guy does us wrong, and all you care about is fighting me. You don't even like him that much."
I was thinking about that. I don't like like him. I'm only doing this because of Mo. My mom always compared me to her.
Alex why aren't you on the math team like Monique?
Alex how come you're not as civilized as Mo?
Alex why can't you be as clean as Monique?
Alex why can't respect your elders like Monique?
Alex why can't you wear clothes like Mo?
So the real reason I'm arguing with Monique is not only because I'm a lonely loser but because she always gets the prize. My mom absolutely loves Kyle: handsome, smart, respectful, and all that jazz. He's just perfect. So when I caught Mo with Kyle I just didn't want her to win.
"Alex maybe we can finally call a truce?" Mo suggested putting out her hand.
This was the right thing to do. I shook her hand.
"You see, all you had to do was talk to solve your problems," Barbara said smiling.
"Oh yea! I'm not BALD!" Mo scolded. I did take out most of her hair. You could see the tracks from the extensions I pulled out.
"He he," I smiled innocently.
An officer came with a set of keys in his hands.
"Monique Johnson and Alexander Watson you have bail," the short plump man said. Plump?
So we were in the car. My mom had posted bail. It was a disaster in the car.
Oh my god Alex I'm disappointed in you. How could you do this to Monique? You can never control your temper. Why can't you be more civilized like Mo? She should be a role model for you. You two can hang or whatever teens do, As long as it's safe. It's better than hanging out with those gang members and satanic worshipers. Geez Alex! Couldn't you do something right? Don't you want to be friends with Mo again? I hope she accepts you apology. She's a good role model and knows how to respect adults.
Monique wasn't even right next to me. She got shotgun. I wish I had a shotgun and put it to her head. I know we made a truce but this is what I mean by hating Mo. You've heard it so many times you should just block it out. But Mom can get under your skin and in your head. I just want my mom's approval on everything.
I sighed and turned to the window.
No more approval! I'm getting that job. I'm rebelling. Next week is my eighteen birthday. I know that isn't really rebelling if you're going to do it when you're legal but I really don't want to be raped by a gorilla.