Yeah… okay.

(Here we go.)

I don't know. Uh. How

to, um, say This.

(No, it's has been chewed, swallowed, fully digested,

and now, shat out.

I know exactly how to say it.)


I'm— oh God. This is


(It'll be harder for you.)

hands meet

don't hold


It's not, um—

(It's not nervousness, it's guilt.)

every couch fiber's got a story for listening fingers

distract me

For the past couple of days,

("Couple," hah. 13 and a half days.

19,440 minutes of pretending.

1,166,400 seconds were shams.)

brush his knee and

unwittingly submerge him in memories

Things haven't been

fuck, hands are still here

what to do with them

need to hide them and help him

get ready to forget

The Same.


(Fuck, don't look at me.

It's not you.

If I could change the way I feel…

Nevermind. Fuck, I don't know.

I tried; I can't.)


And I want to be completely

Honest with you.

(But not about the suffocating.

That doesn't sound good: When I'm with you I feel like

I'm drowning.

Damn. Secret best kept.)

gently gently

easy slow

sing our newborn love to sleep

I don't want to be with you anymore.

his eyes burn red


more like a slap to the face

than heartbreak

(That sounds awful.

I don't want to see you anymore.

I don't want to touch you anymore.

I don't want to talk to you anymore.

Ugly words.)

I still care for you, but


(Do I really?

I do. Wait. I'm not sure.

I want to care about you, but —

Is it bad? — I might not care if you dropped off the

face of the Earth.)

I'm not comfortable in The Relationship


(I was never really comfortable.

Fuck, Never really admitted that.

One foot out the door. And now,

The other in my mouth.)

feet are ready to leave

before the rest

tap tap tap

So, uh, I think that we need to,

close our eyes

sigh and tremble

the last time we move as one

(Second thoughts.

No, no, no. Not now!

Monkey bars, skirt's riding up,

Vietnamese restaurant, bare feet,

Sobbing in the rocking chair,

Laughing, six hours on the phone.

In Love.)




you know,

(You do know.

I see it.

I'm sorry.

I hope you see that, too.

I hope you see all of this that I can't say out loud.)


Break Up.