The Evil Dr Monkeyface

You may not have heard of me

But I will one-day control everything you see

For I am the evil son of the monkey Terry

Who bred with Halle Berry

To form the evil sight that you now behold

Does it make your blood run cold?


I've seen many things in my evil monkey lair

I saw Hitler killed when I still had hair

Taking the banana that I gave to him

And blowing his brains out on a whim

It always baffles me why he did that

It was meant to be for eating, or for a soft kind of hat


I spoke to Stalin in forty-nine

Over an affectionate glass of wine

I gave him the secrets to the atom bomb

The pain caused was hard and long

But I got a thousand monkey faced minions

They never doubted my opinions


I helped NASA build their rocket ship

While I helped Yuri Gagarin do his bit

All those primates sent into space

They came in first in the race

They took photos of the banana plantations

And we came to them and set up our own nations


You buy bananas by the bucket load

And I get your money, for my secret abode

Where I sit upon my golden banana throne

And I rule completely alone

In a place you might know

A place called America, where I run the show


Over half a century I have been watching you

The human race, oblivious to their impending doom

It has been an enjoyable ride

To see all the non-monkeys that have died

And we laugh, for soon there shall be none left

Just the monkeys ruling, a remarkable theft


For I am Dr Monkeyface

And you will fear me for all time

One day you will stare at your face

To see a monkey's that has taken your place

And if you should kill me

I shall rise again and you will see

That only I will rule supreme