On a cold winter's evening, Arayn sat upon his house, gazing up at the star studded sky. Soft jazz music was floating on the breeze from across the river, the city's night life settling in for a long haul. The bright white moon shone down onto him, its white light complimenting his own pale skin, so on that roof top he looked like the ghost of some poor long lost soul. And though it was cold on the outside, the bitter iciness inside himself was worse.

Thoughts and feeling ran through Arayn's mind, unchecked, unchallenged, causing more harm then anything else. He pulled his coat closer to him, trying to fight of an emotional cold, and repelling the gentle evening breeze. Smells of fresh coffee and the sound of laughter came from bellow him. His parents were having a party, another one of their social gatherings. Those guests had brought their children to play with Arayn's three younger brothers, but none had any his age. So, on a cold winter's night, Arayn was all alone.

Crystal blue eyes scanned the distant horizon, longing and defeat etching into his face. Ever fibre of his body was weary, every muscle tired, every nerve shot. Life wasn't kind to him, this boy with oak wood hair. While climbing onto the roof, he had gotten a call on his mobile.

"Oi, Rayn, where are you? Everyone's worried sick about you. Why weren't you at school" Came the voice of Yasmine, one of his oldest friends.

"I was sick, you know how I get when it's winter"

"Well, what was this I heard about you and Christian? Is it true you guys…"

"Yes, its true. Now, if you don't mind, I'm kinda busy doing, homework. I'll see you at school on Monday"

With that, Arayn hung up the phone, only to toss it from the roof, down onto the damp grass below. He didn't care if it broke. He didn't care if his parents found out he was up there in the first place. He just no longer cared about anything.

Images of empty playgrounds filled his mind, of a swing set, on a warm summer's day. On a faithful summer's day. Arayn tried to shut out the memory, squeezing his eyes shut, trying to think of anything else but the memories that had brought him up onto the room. Memories of a person. Memories of a boy…

A cold ocean breeze blew over the playground, the sound of waves crashing floating upon it. Arayn was swinging slowly on the swing set, humming softly to himself, when a hand fell onto his shoulder.

The hand looked strong, yet it was slender and feminine. The nails were perfectly cut, rounded and painted black. He flicked his hair back, and stared into the chocolate eyes of the stranger.

"Can I help you?" Arayn asked, a hint of boredom flowing from his tongue.

"Yes, actually, you can. I was wondering…would you like to hang out tonight?" The stranger shot a smile in Arayn's direction, his knees going weak instantly. The boy's smile was straight, white and shining. Like a model you see on T.V yet not digitally enhanced.

"Eh, wait. You want me, to hang out with you?" he sounded sceptical, and for good reason. This boy was obviously a surfer. Tall, muscled and tanned. But Arayn… well, he was tall, with a swimmer's build, yet pale skin. He preferred do all his swimming in the indoor pools. He liked the heat.

"Oh course! I don't just ask random people to hang out with me for no good reason. So, my house, 6 o'clock. Here's the address. Don't be late" A smirk played on his beautiful features slightly, then he turned to go. Pausing, he spun round again "Oh, by the way. I'm Christian."

Arayn ripped himself out of that memory with a small pinch on his right arm. Small scars could be seen along it, going from just below the wrist all the way up to his shoulder. Strange as it seemed, you could only see them in the moonlight. They were his reminder of how hard life had once been. Before life had changed. Before that faithful summer's day.

Arayn could feel the tears threatening to pour out his eyes, forcing him to recognise the weakness inside. But he continued to fight it. He pulled out his iPod, and shoved his headphones into his ears. A song came on, one that he knew he wouldn't be able to fight away. Christian sang it once… he thought to himself, a single tear escaping from his caged soul.

Hold on to me love

You know I can't stay long

All I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid

Can you hear me?

Can you feel me in your arms?

Peering down to the small illuminated screen, My Last Breath – Evanescence, stared back at him, a silent taunt to his very weakness.

Now his last forbidden memory came flooding back.

"Rayn, can we talk?" Christian's voice came from behind him, catching him by surprise.

"Well, sure. What's wrong?" Arayn was worried. Christian never "needed to talk" with him before. Something was really bothering him.

They walked over to a lone tree, away from their crowd of friends, who hadn't noticed their absence.

"Rayn, god, you are so beautiful," Christian whispered, his handing lightly caressing Arayn's cheek, causing him to blush. He didn't reply, knowing Christian was trying to get something off his chest. He went to take Christian's hand, to offer support, but the other took his hand away.

"No Arayn. I can't do this anymore. WE can't do this anymore. You mean the world to me, and always will…but there are so many different types of love. So many versions of feelings, so many different interpretations. How can we know this is love, if we're so young." He paused now, letting the effect sink into Arayn's mind.

He was numb. Nothing. He couldn't feel his fingers. Nor his toes. He couldn't feel his head, or his body. But, oh god, could he feel his heart. Feel his heart ripping itself to pieces.

"I met someone else." By the time the words left Christian's mouth, flew across the space between them, and got to Arayn, his whole world had came crushing down on him. Now, their was feeling.

"You…you, you met someone. Else? You…else….someone…" The words weren't forming in his mind, just coming out in small bursts, random nothingness pouring from the broken stiches in his own confidence.

"Rayn, oh Rayn, I'm so sorry…can't we still be friends?" Now, there was thought.

"You, you want to be friends…? FRIENDS?" Arayn screamed this last part, drawing the attention of their group of friends, who turned their heads, and ears, to find out what was going on. Christian went to grasp Arayn's arms, to control him. He was shaking now, anger and betrayal his set back emotions whenever something happened in his life.

"NO! Get off me. You want to be friends. Go be friends with whoever you met. But, not me….not me…" The last parts were whispers from his now numb body, Arayn feeling lost and abandoned. He staggered over to Yasmine and whispered, " I don't feel well, I think I'll go home."

That had been this morning. It had only been 12 hours, but time itself had slowed down for Arayn. It had felt like 12 long, excruciating years of longing, loneliness and torment. As if every second of those 12 years were tributes to Christians betrayal. Small tear drops began to trickle from his eyes, all thought of emotional barriers destroyed by memories and lost happiness.

Arayn lifted his head up to the sky, taking in the awe inspiring vastness of the moonlit night. The stars shined like beacon's, signalling the night threw their vast domain. The moon stood guard, just above the horizon, like a lone soldier on the battlefield. And there he was, a lone soldier, abandoned, deserted and defeated. And the night was his mistress, a thing to amuse him, to please him. Something to look forward to, in the following weeks of mental torment. The nights were his very being would be on trial within his mind, his soul ripped in two over that one time, one event…

One boy…