Why is everything so hard?

"Come see the world's 8th wonder-

A Modern Mogul of Mediocrity

Not too bright and not too shiny

But she's got to be good for something,

Eh, Folks?"

I'm not useless-

Let me prove it to you with my hands.

Some days I think maybe I'm exceptional

Or extraordinary.

This is not one of these days.

This is an everyday day.

Every day, when I lock up the shame

I can feel it lurking.

I'm not helpless-

Let me prove it to you with my fists.

I'll hit you and it won't be hard enough to hurt

But you'll feel it.

"Oof," You'll say, "You really tried, didn't you?"

I'm not dense-

Let me prove it to you with my words.

I want to coat my heart-shaped lips

In dollar store lipstick,

Red and alarming

Like Roxanne's red light,

And I want to leave kiss marks

In scarlet on every word,

Every heart-wrenchingly beautiful

Word.

I'm not anything-

Not bad enough to be offered embarrassing alternatives.

Or told the blunt truth.

I'm not phenomenal-

Not resplendent in any way

Shape

Or form.
Not Beautiful- don't deny it, it only makes her look desparate.

I'm just me

And Just Me

Is wondering

When that will be good enough

Just for me.