Why is everything so hard?
"Come see the world's 8th wonder-
A Modern Mogul of Mediocrity
Not too bright and not too shiny
But she's got to be good for something,
I'm not useless-
Let me prove it to you with my hands.
Some days I think maybe I'm exceptional
This is not one of these days.
This is an everyday day.
Every day, when I lock up the shame
I can feel it lurking.
I'm not helpless-
Let me prove it to you with my fists.
I'll hit you and it won't be hard enough to hurt
But you'll feel it.
"Oof," You'll say, "You really tried, didn't you?"
I'm not dense-
Let me prove it to you with my words.
I want to coat my heart-shaped lips
In dollar store lipstick,
Red and alarming
Like Roxanne's red light,
And I want to leave kiss marks
In scarlet on every word,
Every heart-wrenchingly beautiful
I'm not anything-
Not bad enough to be offered embarrassing alternatives.
Or told the blunt truth.
I'm not phenomenal-
Not resplendent in any way
Not Beautiful- don't deny it, it only makes her look desparate.
I'm just me
And Just Me
When that will be good enough
Just for me.